#tyrandy
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Ty: So Mom, I’m moving in with Tandy. We’re gonna do some traveling together.
Adina: I must have failed you as a mother. I’m so sorry.
Brigid: So are you two together or?
Tandy:Ridiculous.
Ty:Unrealistic.
Tandy:Unfathomable.
Ty:Ludicrous.
Brigid: So you mean to tell me that was a friendship kiss?
Ty: …You saw that?
Tandy: I was, uh, just giving him lessons.
Tandy: Mistakes were made but we won’t name names.
Ty: You crashed a monster truck, Tandy.
Tandy: MISTAKES WERE MADE-
Ty: You crashed into tHE ZOO TANDY!
Tandy: -BUT WE WON’T NAME NAMES!
Ty: TANDY THERE ARE SEVERAL LIONS ON THE LOOSE.
Tandy: There you are! You scared me half to death! Where were you? And why were you gone for so long?
Ty: You know the guy who catcalled you yesterday?
Tandy:Yeah?
Ty: I beat him up.
Tandy: you whAT?!
Tandy: Oh, stop making this all about you.
Ty: This is…my birthday party.
Tandy: Which I planned! You’re welcome.
Ty: Tandy…you really messed this up.
Tandy: Wow. How dare you hold me accountable for my actions
Tandy: It is absolutely imperative that you don’t tell anyone.
Ty: Who would I tell? I have like 2 friends and you’re one of them.
Tyrone: Tandy stay with me, you got stabbed, we have to get to a hospital-
Tandy: *literally coughing up blood* -Tyrone Johnson if you call a fucking ambulance I’m adding your name to my hit list.
Mina: Tell me something I don’t know about you.
Tandy: I pledge allegiance to Tyrone Johnson every morning.
Mina: I said something I don’t know.
No one:
Tyrone: YOU ARE TANDY FRICKEN BOWEN YOU BOSS ASS BITCH GET UP AND CUT THIS JERK DOWN
No one:
Tandy: Tyrone Johnson is a MAN and he is brave and strong and resilient. He saved me and I love him more than anything in this world okay?
Ty: Waffles or pancakes?
Tandy: OMG are you asking me out???
Ty: I’m signing you up for therapy. Do Monday’s work?
Tandy: Uh I think not! Last time I tried therapy I got kidnapped by literal sex traffickers. Therapy is the reason I now need therapy!
Ty: So that’s a no for Monday’s?
Tandy: Does it count as murder if the person you’re killing is a fundamentally terrible person?
Ty: Nah, I consider it serving the community.
Tandy: So you and Evita…are you together or?
Ty: It’s complicated.
Tandy: So is that a no-?
Ty: Well she married a loa so I think it’s safe to say I’m out of the picture.
Samedi: He paid me with his worries.
Tandy: Worries?? Boy do I have a fucking deal for you. I’ve got more worries than you’ll know what to do with!
Samedi:Bu-
Tandy: I just escaped human traffickers motherfucker, I could own this place with the number of worries I have to offer!
Tandy, after she realizes Ty is alive: TYRONE JOHNSON I HATE YOU
Ty: What?! Why??
Tandy: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD