How to Recognize Abuse
Help Lines (Phone and Text Chat)
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY)
National Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-237-8255
Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men: 1-888-743-5754 (US and Canada)
Hopeline Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-784-2433
National Hotline for Victims of Crimes: 1-855-484-2846
National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Polaris Human Trafficking Text Line: Text “BEFREE” to 233733
Pandora’s Aquarium - Chat (includes chats specifically for men)
Pandora’s Aquarium - Forums (includes forums specifically for men)
How to Find a Shelter
Domestic Shelters Search (shelter locator with filters to find shelters specifically for male survivors)
SAFE (located in Austin, TX, but states they can help people find resources/shelters in their area)
How to Find a Therapist
Resources for and About the Abuse of Kids/Teens
Love is Respect Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (Hotline for teens)
Darkness to Light Helpline (Sexual Abuse): 1-866-367-5444
Darkness to Light Text Line: Text “LIGHT” to 741741
ChildHelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
Children of the Night Hotline (Children in Prostitution): 1-800-551-1300
National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929
Covenant House Nineline (Homeless Youth): 1-800-999-9999
Stop it Now Hotline: 1-888-773-2362 (for adults concerned about the welfare of a child)
Jennifer Ann’s Group (for teens experiencing dating violence)
Other Resource Lists
(While I tried to include the most helpful resources I could here (i.e., resources that lend themselves to one-on-one communication, individual reading, etc.), there are plenty of other great resources, including regional resources, listed in these links. Some of the resources are specific to men and others aren’t, but they are all helpful for male survivors.)
**Male Survivor (regional, international, and online resources)
**Help for Guys: Help for Victims (some resources for men, many general resources)
I’m so tired of every show that takes place in the past (wild west, medieval, pirates etc) ALWAYS having so much sexual violence towards women like writers can cry “oh it’s realism” all you want but it’s very transparent how realism only applies when you want to hurt women on screen. If we’re talking staying realistic, why doesn’t everyone have brown teeth? Or bad skin? Or dying of dysentery? Just admit y'all want an excuse to brutalize women on screen lol
This pisses me off so much. A lot of the time if you mention realism would also involve women having unshaved legs or pits, or bushy eyebrows, or syphilis, the answer is often “well that’s gross, no one wants to read about/see that” and like…. If you think that women being ugly is grotesque, but brutal depictions of rape aren’t, then I don’t really know what to say to you other than stay the fuck away from me.
creepygross creepygross GET PETYR AND HIS MOLESTY VIBES AWAY FROM SANSA
this is just no better
maybe even worse??
Just begun reading “The Dark Wife.”
It’sintense in just the way I like, and very painful in a lot of places. The descriptive, atmospheric prose is enviable.
And that’s not getting onto the subject of lady Hades first kissing Persephone’s hand.Update: needed fully half an hour to go make a cup of tea and stare at the wall after reading that scene.
The Red Dress Warriors Start Up fund is a native woman with experience looking for funding in order to help other native woman defend themselves and identify potentially dangerous situations due to the high risk rate of violence they face. They’re not even halfway to their goal since February - check it out here and support native woman protecting themselves!I am seeking help to fund start up costs of this nonprofit, in order to help with the MMIW epidemic. I need to file a 501©(3) with the IRS, a name reservation fee, a Colorado Secretary of State, Business Division Charge, and miscellaneous legal fees. I am asking for help to start this dream of mine to help save our women and children and help to reverse the legacy of trauma and death.
Come on y’all! I know we can get this funded! ❤️
When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.
In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.
And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.
And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.
And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.
And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.
And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him.
And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.
And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.
And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.
-16 year old girl
Did I reblog this already I dont care
tattoos are important to me because between my emotionally abusive parents and my sexually / emotionally abusive ex and generally traumatic adolescence and young adulthood i’ve never experienced autonomy over my body as an adult.
i was forcibly hospitalized twice; the second time was court-ordered and month-long. i spent three years on court-ordered sedatives, shuttled between therapy, doctor’s appointments, and more therapy. i was physically forced to do things and / or restrained from stopping my ex from doing things to me. i was gaslit and manipulated and sexually abused.
when i say i’ve never experienced autonomy over my body, it’s very literal.
i disappeared. for a long time. i’m still coping with the trauma of that. i’m still trying to handle the effects it has on my life.
but the thing that helps a little bit, the thing that helps me feel like my body belongs to me, like i’m myself, is creating this comic book skin full of things i love and. it makes me feel more comfortable in myself; more like i’m mine.
whatever narratives you wanna construct, this will always belong to me. this will always be mine. this is not something that they can take away again. this is not something you can take away. this isn’t your story; it’s mine.
a thing that’s been consistent with (my) abuse/assault/????? is not being sure whether anything is my idea or if I was guided/directed towards it for someone else’s purposes. I was sitting in the library scrolling through someone’s couples pictures and relationship posts and after I read one about enthusiasm for blowjobs I suddenly wasn’t sure whether any of the things that led up to being sexual were my things or his. like, I know that he repeatedly told me I didn’t have to do any of it; he’s stopped me in the middle of a blowjob multiple times so we could have a conversation about whether I wanted to finish, but seeing predatory ex every day and being intentionally pushed towards making sexual “progress” every day makes it hard sometimes to see whether any idea is really mine. jon would never push me, but he says stuff that predatory ex has said–with a different intent–and my brain can often only hear the echo of predatory intent instead of the loving consensual one.
I know this is unfair. he hasn’t earned this. but I’ll feel predatory ex instead of him, sometimes, and it’s terrifying when it feels like I can’t even trust my perception.