The word the noldor use for physical components of transition is “to remake”, an acknowledgement of crafting the self into its preferred form
The sindarin word is instead “to reshape”, in the sense of guiding the physical self into the form it’s meant to have, like tying plants to stakes so they grow upright
(Not all trans elves consider these components to be essential, many just change their gender markers – jewelry style usually, among the noldor – and sometimes name, but this is common enough to have a name)
Here’s video 2/3 for the Kingsmen! The Kingsmen are my faction in Weekend Warrior- an experiential live action event that will be filmed, documentary style, and challenge you in a new form of medieval-style outdoor adventure. I’m joining forces with Skip Lipman and Ron Newcomb of the Forge Studios- they’re well known for the series, ‘The Rangers’, and also Zan Campbell of Fell and Fair, and together we’re creating this event. For more, check out our Weekend Warrior Kickstarter, which has a few days to go!
THANKS TO: Conner Morgan Ben Cummings The Forge Studios Fell & Fair L'Auberge de Dragon Rouge La Ville de Montréal Ville de Québec Hostel International Québec VIA Rail Marie Brisbois Calimacil Marie Bellerose of L'Atelier des Cache-Mis Le Dogue du Montréal La Baronnie de l'Île du Dragon Dormant Charles of Syn Studio Gaffer Tape Zoe
“But you always have to watch Tolkien with water. He never uses it unmeaningfully. Pools and lakes mirror stars, and hold hidden things. The Anduin has contrasting banks and, moreover, reeks of history. In a way, it is history, and the Fellowship is going with the current, to break up in confusion at the falls of Rauros. It is worth pointing out that when Aragorn later uses the same river, he comes up it, against the current, changing a course of events that seems inevitable. The other water is of course the Sea. This has been sounding dimly in our ears throughout the book, but in Lothlorien it begins to thunder. Does it suggest loss, departure and death? Certainly. But since water is always life to Tolkien, it must also be eternity.”
— Diana Wynne Jones, ‘The Shape of the Narrative in The Lord of the Rings.’(viasetnet)
Point of View and In-Universe Authorship of the “Silmarillion”
This past Thursday, I presented at the Popular Culture Association/American Culture Association conference in the Tolkien Studies area on the authorship of The Silmarillion. I’ve put a transcript of my presentation with some select slides on the Silmarillion Writers’ Guild here: https://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/node/5475 (Please note that Tumblr mucks up our links. You will likely need to copy and paste the URL directly.)
This paper is the first step in a project that’s long been on my radar, but I’ve had my plate full with the SWG site rebuild and quite a few publication opportunities that fell my way and I couldn’t easily pass up. Now that those tasks are clear, I’m resuming my work on the in-universe historiography of the legendarium, beginning with a surprisingly complex but absolutely essential question: Who wrote The Silmarillion?
By that I don’t mean how the published Silmarillion was constructed (for that I wholeheartedly recommend Douglas Charles Kane’s Arda Reconstructed) but which fictional character(s) within the legendarium are actually responsible for writing the historical texts that Christopher used to construct the published Silmarillion. The answer to this question is murky (the scholarship, for instance, claims the narrator is omniscient, Elven, and Numenorean, depending on who you read) because the texts are Tolkienian in every way: a tangle of different drafts that are difficult to date, hard to read, and frequently contradict each other.
This paper is the first foray into the topic, looking just at the texts of Morgoth’s Ring, which is on its own quite a challenging set of texts. I’ve spent the past few months close-reading Morgoth’s Ring and trying to make sense of its bramble patch of drafts, notes, and edits, and this paper is all that work distilled down into a 15-minute talk: barely scratching the surface, in other words, but it’s a start.
Bad: Hobbit pipeweed is probably just tobacco because [something from Tolkien’s unpublished letters].
Also bad: Pipeweed is totally marijuana. All hobbits are stoners.
Good: “Pipeweed” is a catch-all term for anything you can stick in a pipe and smoke. Some of it will give you a light nicotine buzz, and some of it will get you absolutely blasted out of your mind. Hobbits are perfectly aware which is which, but since their system of classification is based on what farm the pipeweed was grown on rather than what species of plants went into it, the distinctions are often opaque to outsiders. If a hobbit offers you a puff of “Old Toby”, make sure you know how old Toby likes his pipeweed before you accept!
Tw:More Thorin and Raewyn banter. Sudden angst (hold on to your seatbelts. It’s gonna be a ride from this chapter on). Raewyn kicks Kili. Bilbo and Raewyn being besties because we need some happiness to keep the energy up. Descriptions of exhaustion because of walking + description of being out of breath because of a fall. I like time skips for the spice. Not that heavy yet.
As some of you may or may not know; I am in a serious writing slump. I halted my whole celebration and everything. I haven’t written anything for this series for two entire weeks straight, so it took some time getting back into the story. Updates will therefore still be slow, but I try to post new chapter every Sunday 19:00 CET. For now; enjoy the chapter and don’t forget to let me know what you think of it!
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When the dwarves have very little screen time in tbotfa so you have to write you own scenes while you are in a writing slump
If the mountains of gold did not appear overwhelming from a distance, they definitely did up close. Having ignored Thorin’s shouts and protests, Raewyn had marched up to the treasure hoard, ready to grab enough valuables for Laketown to rebuild. Yet, unlike she had suspected, no one had come to stop her yet. The king was so caught up in his own mind that he could not find the strength nor the urge to stop the Asha, even though he had been completely and utterly obsessed with the gems and gold.
Picking the purest of jewels from the piles, Raewyn stuffed them in her pockets, not wasting her time on mere golden coins. She knew exactly what was more valuable, and which could remain in the halls forever.
Silent curses spilled from her mouth as she tried to push Thorin’s delusional face from her mind. She was aware that it was only a matter of time before he would confront her again, but she would make sure the men on the other side of the gates held their share of the treasure.
The gold beneath her feet fell with every movement, and the clinking of it was heard throughout the otherwise quiet mountain. Never had treasure looked so sickening, or sounded so foreign, and she nearly grew scared at the daunting amount of jewels. Pushing herself through it, she reached down to pick up another necklace, inspecting the emeralds decorating the chain, before stuffing it with the rest of her share.
A loud clinking was heard from behind her, but this was much further than her feet were. The ranger froze at the sound for a short moment, staring at the coins below her as she tried to identify the footsteps.
When a louder clinking was heard again, it was obvious to her that the person wanted to make themselves known. And with that thought, it did not take long for her to figure out who it was.
“Did he send you?” She asked aloud, picking up a ring from a small treasure chest.
A sharp silence was heard after her question, and she knew the presence had halted his movement.
“Yes.” Sounded a remorseful reply.
Raewyn hummed at the answer, twirling the ring between her fingers. When no other words were spoken, she put the ring in her pouch, turning around to face the prince.
“What will you do?” She questioned, having dropped her hands from the treasure.
Kili only stared at her from the golden stairs, a new sword hung over his hips, though his hand made no move to reach for it. He was clad in heavy dwarven armor, letting Raewyn know that Thorin was indeed preparing for war.
“I do not want to choose.” He confessed through a whisper, looking behind him, silently wishing his brother had been beside him.
“You will have to.” Raewyn pointed out, trying to adjust her tone to Kili’s, even as she felt more anger than regret.
The dwarf frowned upon her speech, slowly making his way down the stairs as he unsheathed his sword. Staring down at it, he threw it down the treasure hoard, swallowing thickly.
“I want to be with you.” He managed out, a defeated look on his face.
“But you cannot abandon your family.” She understood, giving a short nod as she remained in her place.
“Thorin will throw me out when he finds out you left the mountain.” Kili explained, now standing below the golden pile Raewyn was vacating.
“If.” She countered, giving him a warning glance.
“When.” He shot back, his voice steadfast and unwavering.
Observing his confident stance, the ranger sighed, dropping her shoulders.
“I cannot let you do that either.”
“So what will we do?” Kili tried, making his way on top of the pile.
“I don’t know.” Raewyn mumbled, looking up at the ceiling.
“Neither do I,” The dwarf admitted, his voice now closer. “And I am not here to tell you not to grab that gold, for I stand with you. You know this.”
His hands carefully found hers, drawing her attention back to him. Looking anywhere but at him, Raewyn squeezed his hand three times, finally resting her eyes on a pillar in the distance.
“So what will you have me do?” Kili finished.
“I was going to leave eventually,” The Asha confessed, letting her mind wander back to the burning lake they had faced days prior. “My quest ended when Smaug drew his last breath.”
“Then why are you still here?” The prince voiced, even surprising himself with his question.
Feeling her heart leap into her throat, she blinked slowly, having expected this question since their first night in Erebor, yet still unprepared with her answer. In all honesty, she did not even know why she was still here. It was obvious Thorin wanted her gone, but she did not stick around to agitate him on his throne. Nor did she stay for Bilbo, which she might have expected herself to do.
“You know why.” She ultimately answered, letting go of his hand as she took a step back.
“I do,” He admitted, taking a step towards her. “But I need to hear you say it.”
Loud footsteps were heard through the halls as both Kili and Raewyn’s heads shot up at the sound.
“Raewyn!” A voice shouted, seeming out of breath, yet extremely recognizable to the pair. “Thorin sent Kili to-”
Bilbo ran into the treasure room, spotting the two upon a golden hill. He broke his sentence halfway, letting out a sigh of relief as he noticed Kili’s sword missing.
“You did not think I was actually going to kill her?” The dwarf questioned, almost insulted.
“Kill me?” Raewyn repeated, genuinely surprised by the king’s order.
“I wasn’t going to.” He defended, holding his hands up in surrender, his mood suddenly switching.
Looking at the hobbit below and the gates in the distant halls, he inhaled deeply, making eye contact with the ranger.
“Strike me.” He concluded, his voice quiet, though she was sure she had heard him.
“Excuse me?”
“If you strike me and run off, I won’t be banished and you won’t be followed.” The dwarf explained, his tone more urgent as he stepped towards her again, making Raewyn take two steps back.
“I am not going to strike you.” She hissed, taking a quick look at Bilbo below, who seemed confused at the entire exchange.
Kili groaned in frustration, holding his hand up as he gently turned Raewyn’s head to face his.
“Please.” He pleaded, his eyes nearly begging as he lowered his arm.
The Asha only managed to stare at him, a hurt look flashing across her face. Kili’s face set in such sadness, yet determination, and she absolutely hated it. She would not strike him just to please Thorin. But she did not want Kili to get banished because she ran off without his interference.
Feeling her heart sink, she placed her feet further apart, staring at Kili with desperate eyes. But his intentions did not seem to waver. Instead of running towards her, he stood there, unmoving, waiting for Raewyn, whose mind was reeling by now, begging her to let him stand there and simply run off.
But before her inner conflict could get the better of her, she rest her weight on her left leg, kicking her right one from underneath her. Her foot harshly collided with Kili’s chest, knocking the air out of his lungs as he fell down the treasure hoard.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she ran down as well, on the other side of the fallen dwarf. Turning only briefly to look at Bilbo, who had ran to Kili’s side. Blinking fiercely, she made way for the main hall, preparing herself to leave the mountain.
“You knew about Mithril forging.” She heard Kili’s voice call out. It was out of breath and shaky, but it was there.
Her footsteps wavered slightly, her pace fading as the lump in her throat began to swell.
“Keep it,” She called hoarsely. “It belongs to you.”
——
The walk towards Dale seemed longer, and more tiring, than it had perhaps been. Though Raewyn had been of stronger build, she began to realize the treasure in her pockets only made her footsteps heavier. She had already offered Farris a few chains in case she would be caught, but even those four lesser chains did nothing to fade the weight pulling at her trousers.
“Raewyn, wait!” Someone called out. Someone fairly close to her.
Before she could answer, Bilbo suddenly appeared in front of her, pulling a ring off his finger. One that Raewyn quickly recognized as the ring the hobbit had offered her in Mirkwood.
“Bilbo?” She spoke bewildered. “What are you doing here?”
The hobbit stuck his hand inside his coat, pulling out the ever-gleaming Arkenstone.
“Thorin is no longer the same,” He stated. “Perhaps this way we can encourage negotiations.”
“It is better off destroyed.” Raewyn countered, scoffing lightly. “Perhaps by making the one thing he longs to hold unobtainable, it will drive him mad enough to knock some sense into him.”
“We are not going to do that.” Bilbo objected. “This is for Bard.”
The ranger squinted her eyes upon his words. “For what? I have enough jewels here to save the people of Laketown.” She explained, gesturing towards the chains hanging from her pockets.
“That is also why I am here,” The hobbit muttered, taking another step towards his friend. “Bring it back, or- or keep it.”
“I’m sorry?” She questioned, visibly taken aback.
“Raewyn, you have told me so many tales and stories about the kingdoms of old and your avoidance of them,” Bilbo told, stuffing the Arkenstone back in his pockets. “Don’t throw yourself in deep of them because of one dwarf.”
“Thorin has nothing to do with this.” The Asha hissed, not angered by the hobbit, but angered at the insinuation of Thorin’s approval.
“I know,” Bilbo smiled knowingly. “Go back to Erebor, Rae.”
“Bilbo-”
“No,” He halted. “This is me putting my foot down.” Slamming a foot down to prove his point, he aimed his finger at the ranger, who was looking at him in silent judgment. “You have helped me so many times, now let me help you. And I am not in the mood to deal with another stubborn dwarf.”
Raewyn stared at him, trying to find the proper words to argue with him. But she knew he would not quickly change his mind. She knew he was leaving for Dale, regardless of her words. She could force him to run back to the mountain, had an urgent thought not suddenly crossed her mind.
“The orcs are on their way to siege Erebor,” She spoke without thinking.
Noticing Bilbo’s sudden shock and surprise, she sighed deeply. “Gandalf sent me a letter.”
“Have you warned them?” The hobbit asked, alarmed at the speech of his friend.
Raewyn swallowed thickly, looking at her feet for a short moment before turning to look back at the shorter creature.
“I wanted to.” Was all she said, letting Bilbo do his thinking on his own.
As if she could hear the gears turning in his head, she looked at the hobbit staring far-off, trying to understand her words. And when he did, his face revealed his realization, making Raewyn form her lips in a thin line.
“Revenge will not make you feel any better,” Bilbo whispered, resting a hand on her lower arm, silently pleading for her to turn back.
“I know,” She agreed quietly. “But with his mind, and his actions against the survivors of Laketown….”
Looking deeply into Bilbo’s eyes, she shrugged, causing the hobbit to drop his hand. “What if he does not get better? Will we let him rule by his own selfish bidding?”
“It is his kingdom.” He sighed, though the hobbit himself was not pleased by the thought. He knew Raewyn was right, and that his rule would be his end, but he did not dare to interfere with Thorin’s rule as the ranger had.
“So we let him get devoured by his own greed and power?” She exclaimed in exasperation. “He threatened and tried to kill me multiple times! He sent Kili after me. Kili won’t kill me, but the next dwarf might.”
Upon the name of the dwarf, Raewyn seemed to halt her next sentence, freezing upon a frightening thought. Gasping lightly, she took a step back.
“What was I thinking?” She mumbled, turning to look at the mountain in the distance. “Thorin might be insane, but he isn’t stupid. He’s going to kick him out.”
——
Where Raewyn had thought the walk to Dale was challenging, she found herself out of breath with every step she took back to the mountain. Farris had been following Bilbo regardless of her owner returning to Erebor, but Raewyn couldn’t find the urge to call the owl back.
She had already dropped a couple of necklaces and chains, but it was not the weight of the gold that made the climb back up so difficult. It was the dawning realization that she was to face Thorin once more. To try to bargain with him once more. And with the stubbornness of both of them, she knew she wouldn’t get far. Yet she had to try to talk to him, or at least try to stop the king from kicking anyone out.
From above her, she could hear two pairs of footsteps walking around, alerting her that there were dwarves up there guarding the gate, or perhaps even waiting for her arrival. Having only recognized one dwarf upon the noises, she halted momentarily, waiting for the second pair again. But when they appeared frozen, she pushed her shoulders back, simply walking up the remainder of stairs.
Almost immediately, Bofur ran up to her, his face laced with confusion and slight desperation.
“Lass, what are you doing here?” He pleaded, grabbing her arm to stop her movement.
Tearing her arm from his grip, she continued her path towards the gates.
“Where is Kili?” She questioned, the dwarf trailing behind her.
“He’s inside,” Bofur answered, shooting a quick glance towards Dori, who sat down beside the gate. “But why-”
“Where is Thorin?” Raewyn interrupted, now walking into the mountain.
“I suppose he is in the throne room, as usual, but-”
“How important is it?” She sighed, turning around to face Bofur, giving him an exhausted look, her breath still labored from the climb.
The dwarf took a deep breath, holding his finger up, though he seemed to have trouble finding the words that were yet to be spoken. After a short while, just as Raewyn was about to resume her path, he spoke up.
“Where have ye been?”
Looking at him, she frowned lightly, having expected another question entirely.
“That is not important,” She answered, before pointing to Dori, who was still watching from outside. “I need you to gather the dwarves.”
With those words, she took off again. It took a quick second for Bofur to realize she was leaving again, stumbling over his steps as he tried to catch up.
“Why?” He wondered, followed by a slightly more careful: “I do not think you have the authority to-”
“This is not a formal request, this is me asking you a favor as a friend.” The Asha shot off again, holding her hand up to emphasize her point. “Orcs are on their way to attack the mountain and - unless Thorin decided that his treasure is not worth pining over obsessively -, he is going to sit here and let it happen. So either you gather the company or I will, but I need them here before sunrise.”
That shut him up, his footsteps fading as he let the words slowly, but surely, sink in. Swallowing harshly, he stopped, letting Raewyn continue her own path.
“What’ll you do?” He called after her.
“That depends.” She voiced back, no longer turning around to face him.
“Depends on what?” Bofur dared to ask.
Raewyn sighed audibly, beginning to grow slightly annoyed at the curious dwarf. Yet, she answered him truthfully; “Depends on who is still walking these halls.”
Having finally accepted her words, Bofur took off running, rushing to find the dwarves, who had all scattered amongst the mountain. Where most of them were still on the look for the Arkenstone, there were some who had taken it upon themselves to discover the halls and kingdom itself. With the leave of Thorin of course. But they could be hiding anywhere, and sunrise was mere hours away. Both Bofur and Raewyn were running out of time.
——
Having known the way to the throne room better than she had liked, Raewyn was quick to find Thorin, and on his side Fili. The two seemed to be too caught up in their conversation, but the Asha could not quite hear what they were saying. Nevertheless, the absence of Kili did not go unnoticed by her, and it send her into another internal panic.
Fishing out the last couple of necklaces from her pockets, she threw them on the floor, aiming them at Thorin. The sound of the falling gems and gold immediately caught his attention, his head snapping up at an alarming rate.
“You,” He seethed, raising from his seat, staring down from his steps. “You attacked my kin. My sister’s son!”
The Asha only walked up to the steps of the throne, pointing her thumb towards Fili.
“Both of them, if you want to make a list.”
“You have a lot of nerve coming back.” He taunted, his voice sharp, as Fili frowned at the exchange.
Raewyn tilted her head to her right side, shrugging as she neared the first step.
“Yes, well, I was halfway down the stairs when I realized I hadn’t bothered you enough yet. I came back to make it up.”
“Do not think your humor masks your intentions,” The dwarf spoke clearly, his voice booming throughout the room. “I know why you are here.”
“Do you now?” She teased. “I highly doubt it. There’d be a lot more panic here if you had.”
“Do not play coy with me, Asha. I have seen your looks,” He roared, angered at not only her words, but her mere presence. “I am not as blind as you might be.”
“That’s an ironic thing to say.” Raewyn mumbled to herself, stopping on the second step as she looked at Thorin. Noting his sword missing, she suppressed the urge to smile, yet she could not help but let a small smirk show.
“Look, oh your great dwarvishness with your absurd crown and your heavy robes that weigh twice as much as your pride,” She proclaimed, Thorin’s face switching that to one of confusion, before falling back into rage. “You have orcs marching up to your gates. To your bloody treasure that you intend to dwell over your entire life. They will be here in two, if not one night.”
The king made no intention to speak, nor did Fili, though he dared to let a pleading look fall into his uncle’s direction.
“I do not know what you long to do with this information, but if you will not make a call, I am gathering the company and we shall leave.”
And with her speech, Thorin began to smile. A smile so mockingly, that she wanted to do nothing more than to slap it off, throwing him off of the stairs for good measure.
“They will never walk with you.” He laughed lowly.
“Perhaps,” She shrugged, her eyes falling onto Fili. “But they will walk with him.”
Thorin’s smile faded as his eyes cast upon his nephew, giving him an accusing look. Yet, he was quick to stare back down at the ranger.
“I see your plan,” He mumbled, though his voice echoed through the halls. “Was this truly how you envisioned it? Convincing us that a threat is nearing, when the real threat hides in Dale?”
His voice sent shivers down her spine, her mind casting back to her encounter with Smaug. The strong and witted words that fell from his mouth appeared as if they were now in Thorin’s brain The dwarf of earlier did not have this way of speaking, nor did he feel confident enough to speak them, but he was no longer holding back.
“Was it not you who set out to help them?” He resumed. “And now you have returned. Perhaps because they did not want the treasure, but I highly doubt it.”
Finally, the king moved, taking a step down the stairs, walking at an agonizingly slow pace, glaring at the Asha below him.
“No, you came back for something else. You came back to take something with you. Something that you forgot the first trip,” Another step was taken down, though he halted, as if to ponder over something.
“No, not forgot; incapable of bringing along. You changed your mind, so you came back to get him. Is that not the case?”
Now he was standing only a small step taller than her, giving him the opportunity to look down at the ranger, giving her a daring smile.
Squinting her eyes slightly, Raewyn frowned at him, a million words and thoughts rushing through her mind as she tried to carefully calculate her next words without revealing too much. But once more, her tongue was quicker than her mind, and the words started falling freely.
“Every second you sit here, your mind becomes more delusional.” She hissed. “The orcs are real. And they will be here soon. As for your supposed genius speech; I came back to warn you, hoping that you might still have some common sense knocked into you.”
Thorin tilted his head up, looking at his nephew behind him, before letting his eyes fall onto the wall behind Raewyn, no longer bothered by her words.
“So, were I to say Kili ran after you, you would not care?”
Upon his words, her jaw began to clench, one of her hands squeezing together, as she swallowed thickly. He could not have followed her, she tried to convince herself. She would have heard him. He would have called after her, or at least ran after her. His boots were heavier than all others, so she could have known he was coming from miles away. It was simply impossible Kili had ran after her.
Yet the thought of it did not seem faux enough. She knew he very well might have done it, and he might have been more quiet than usual, having known about her years as a ranger. But he had never once considered it before. Why would he have changed it all of the sudden?
“I will not fight for your sake, your name, your throne, or your claim,” She changed the subject, referring to her earlier words about the orcs, purposely not mentioning Kili. “I will lead the company away from this mountain, so I shall fight to defend them. Sit here and rot, I could not care any less.”
Stomping down the stairs angrily, she huffed loudly. From behind her, she could hear Thorin sit back down on his throne, as Fili finally began to move.
Nearing the necklaces she had earlier thrown on the ground, she stood on top of them, pushing much force into her steps as the rubies and emeralds shattered under her boots, the gems falling into a million tiny pieces.
“You should leave soon,” Thorin called, his speech mocking, though his voice sounded angry again. “Perhaps your orcs have already found him.”
I am inviting all authors and artists who love Tolkien to participate in my April Tolkien Challenge!
Every day, there will be a new object central, which is the object we will be talking about! Do whatever you want with this; Write a piece about it, share information about it, create something art-related about it….anything goes!
I’d love to see your work! Tag me in it, reblog this post with your piece or use #apriltolkienchallenge !
Watch the hobbits, he said. It’ll be fun, he said.
Tap for better quality
I dearly want to point out that this was made before I figured out how to change the quality on ProCreate, so yes…..it does look quite boxy, but you will have to live with it.
——
Post-Erebor
In which Bilbo needs some time for himself (highly likely with Thorin ;)) and Raewyn has to babysit Frodo, who proceeds to invite Merry and Pippin. Kili is not allowed to laugh or he has to sleep outside.
![gileonnen:“… tireless and enduring in body, lithe and swift … [was] Hareth of the Haladin.”](https://64.media.tumblr.com/561106a4f4cdb7d9ad873e88db7666f5/tumblr_onfgf23NiE1qke8kno1_540.png "gileonnen:“… tireless and enduring in body, lithe and swift … [was] Hareth of the Haladin.”")
