Me: I’m chronically ill which makes me disabled. I managed to adjust my life so I can live as comfortably as possible, which means I don’t work, being poor, and not doing much. Sometimes I have to sleep all day, sometimes I go on hikes with my dog, sometimes I exist, sometimes I want to kill myself. That’s my life and I’m okay with it.
Ppl: BbUuuTTt — ThAt soUndS dEpreSSinNngG!
Ppl: buTtT — I COulDn'TttT lIvE liKe thIsS!
Ppl: BbuUUTtTtT — iSn’T tHEre ANyThiNg THaT caNn bE DoNe tO chAnGe YOur depREssIng stAte?
Ppl: bUuuUtT — LivE iS abOUt LIVING, NOT EXISTING!
Ppl: buTT — hOw cAn yOu LIvee LikE tHat?
Ppl: buTttTTTTT — DoNt be So neGaTiVe, if IT wAsS mE, I WouLd bE mORe HopEFuLl, That thEre WiLL Be a CuRe, AND My dePreSsIng LIfesTyLe WoUlD eNd.
Ppl: BUttT — YOure SUCH AN INSPIRATION!!! I wOuLdvE kIlleD MYsElf By NoW!
Me: Well, at this point we should think about who is the really negative person in this conversation.
Ppl:
Ppl:
Ppl:
Ppl: Yeah, no, you’re negative, saying you’re disabled is negative, disability is okay in and of itself, but don’t call yourself disabled, because that’s so negative, not having goals and not accomplishing anything in life is a wasted life, contributing to society is important, you’re so poor for not seeing how you’re wasting your life, you should really try to change something, although I admire you, because I would have killed myself by now, just saying.
The Kanade/Miku version of Hated by Life Itself (Inochi ni Kirawareteiru) would work really well for Shadowsight and Spotfur. Dunno who would be Kanade and who would be Miku, but it works for them way too well. Let them bond please
(Warning, the song contains suicidal thoughts/intentions. They aren’t followed on and in the end the singers declare they want to live, but I’m providing this as a trigger warning)
So, using poems posted on Poetry Daily in the past month or so, I loaded InferKit with arbitrary combinations of three-to-eight-line chunks of poems to see what kind of “literary poetry” it would generate
This is, of course, intended as a criticism of literary poetry, demonstrating
that an AI, given a random mishmash of lines from literary poetry published recently, can write about as well as a bunch of people with PhD’s in writing
that the AI can “figure out” that it is supposed to include suicide, awkward sexual metaphors, hating motherhood, quotes from Freud, and hating being alive.
Reader interpretation does about 80% of the work in poems like this. I don’t think this is entirely, unilaterally bad, though. The human ability to see meaningful patterns in noise enriches us with a lot of beauty, it’s true. That’s maybe why the AI often throws lines that seem meaningful.
Despite the fake deep edginess, I kind of like poem #2. “You’re going to hell” the printer tells me is a favorite line.
hey. this is just letting everyone know that paige (zamii070) is not dead. this is coming from her friend irl. @coolerthanbeans just got off the phone with her mom, she’s getting out of the hospital today. you guys seriously need to think long and hard about this, everything that happened. paige isn’t just some entity you can throw insults and abuse at, she is a human being with actual thoughts and feelings. she’s been struggling with this backlash from tumblr for almost a year now and i’ve honestly never been more sickened with this website. you should be ashamed of yourself, all of you. all of those hate blogs, everyone who reblogged that shit and continuously insulted paige and her art. if you really wanted to prove that you were so woke you would have stopped this obvious bullying and abuse from happening. there is a difference between being into social justice and taking it way too far. this was not social justice. driving a mentally ill girl, someone’s friend, someone’s daughter, to attempt suicide under the guise of being politically correct? nice one tumblr, really. we are beyond relieved that paige is still with us. i dont know what else to say. i dont know what i would have done if we had lost her, she’s been my friend for years… just, please single boost this so that everyone knows she’s okay. i know there are still a lot of people who are concerned and care for her. thank you.
Both Eve and I have known Paige since we were 13 years old. Thats nearly 7 years of friendship. She’s been one of my best friends since our freshman year of high school. Me (and Eve and so many other people) love Paige so much. I don’t know what her reasons were so I can’t and won’t speak for her, but I am so beyond angry at so many people on tumblr right now for so many reasons, some reasons which I’m not sure Paige would comfortable if I talked about so I won’t. But as soon as I can talk to Paige and get any confirmation on if I can say what I want to say, all hell will break loose. She did try to kill herself. She did attempt to die. It is highly possible that you all could’ve been the reason for taking away a beautiful, funny, and wonderfully passionate and caring person away from this Earth and, more selfishly, from me. I love Paige. I’m so relieved and grateful that she’s still here. I know I don’t write as eloquently as Eve does, but I still needed to talk about this.
Thank you to all the people sending kind words and showing your love to Paige. I’m sure it will mean a lot to her to read what you all have been saying. I’m really so grateful to you all.
Please signal boost this so people know she’s okay.
Sorry for not posting in a while… I’m more active on other blogs and sites right now, but I’m dropping in today because I’ve noticed that the Presidential Elections in America have started and people are freaking out.
So, I just wanted to say, whatever the outcome of your election is… Don’t do anything drastic, okay? Things are scary right now. Believe me, the rest of the world is worried, too. But even if the worst comes to worst, please don’t give up. I’ve seen people actually wanting to kill themselves over the election and that’s horrifying. Please don’t. Things are getting bad, yes, but losing you will make it so much worse.
Just hold on there, okay? Even when the dust has settled and a decision’s been made, there’s still a chance for you to fix things and/or make things better. You can still do something to save your country even if the worst comes to worst.
It’s not the end yet. Things can still change for the better. I and so many people want you to be alive to see that change. To contribute to it.
So, I’ve been thinking about Brett from inside job and one thing is confusing me big time that no one is talking about.
Bret has a sister. It’s very obvious that Bret had a sister, you can see her in this picture. But in the heart wrenching birthday scene that we all know he doesn’t mention her?
She’s clearly in the portrait behind him. But, he only asks the butler about his brothers? His parents are on a trip, his brothers are in military school and rehab, but what about his sister? What happened to her? WHY DOESN’T HE ASK ABOUT HER? Was she already there? Did she just leave? Did she die???? I don’t know. Does anyone know? Am I just stupid? Lmk what you guys think.
It seems like, out of all of his siblings, Brett was the only one to turn out relatively successful, since his older brothers got sent to military school and rehab. This leads me to think that the parents mistreated them, too, but instead of neglecting them like they did to Brett, they might have been victims of psychological or emotional abuse.
In a lot of abusive households, one of the kids is often mistreated to be set as an “example” of what the others will suffer if they disobey the parents. Maybe they were pressuring the older kids into success (especially since the dad said “all of my kids are champions… except for Brett”).
So, for the sister, part of me wonders if she was driven to self destructive behavior… and didn’t survive it. Perhaps drug usage led to an overdose? Maybe she suffered similar psychological problems to Brett and was led to something no worse?
Our system is probably going to be having a conversation with our doctor about starting T for some of the issues we’ve been dealing with and are like 98% sure we are going to start it and like, our system is a group of nerds and like to be prepared due to both memory issues and just enjoying being over the top.
So Riku was doing some literature reading on HRT, PCOS, general practices, and a lot of the minutia on how things work with T and then like highlighted things from the general practices for me to fill in since I am the part that feels the most raw blunt of the dysphoria and jesus christ
I’ve been writing it for an hour and half and keep having to take time away to stop writing ever so often so I don’t fully spiral into a dysphoria driven breakdown when I am just factually reporting the facts. Our system types at like 60-80 wpm and don’t really need to think when we are writing things down since we write a lot. I’m reaching two hours and we are at like, 1000 words. Like we are at like 1/10th the usual speed of writing cause I keep stopping to try not to barf.
I’m mostly alright, because honestly, this is nothing compared to how badly this has been murdering me for the past like, two months or so - but I really, really don’t have time or space for people that think I should just live like this because of their god or because…. the patriarchy????
Literally you are either a transactivist / ally / supporter / etc, or you are pro fucking suicide. And I’m sorry, but if you are in support of children, teens, adults and people in general killing themselves for things that are relatively easy to manage for any stupid reason, then you are honestly a piece of shit person and really deserve no respect.
LCSW Erica Woodland launched the National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network (NQTTCN) in 2016 to create “a healing justice organization committed to transforming mental health for queer and trans people of color (QTPoC) in North America.”
NQTTCN states that “we do not see our communities or our identities as problems that need to be fixed…We recognize that systemic oppression and degradation (colonization, white supremacy, ableism, patriarchy, queerphobia, transphobia, xenophobia, capitalism, etc.) lead to our experiences of suffering, trauma, and mental health issues…We recognize the ways the mental health system has been used to pathologize and criminalize our communities…We honor the traditions, creativity, and cultural practices QTPoC have used to build resilience and survive.”
Garlic powder & onion powder are literally like two beautiful twin sisters brushing eachothers long hair at the lake by moonlight one last time before they both walk into the forest and kill themselves
can i be real kmsing sounds so tempting almost solely because of the convenience and the money it would save like no more groceries no more bills no more public transport or figuring out what makes me feel anything or australian accents literally hating my life doesnt even come close to the top 50 reasons i wanna die
i wish all self harm and suicide intent survivors a really pleasent night and a very much “take your time in recover i promise things will get better and there are always better option I truly believe in you and how much you matter to different people, keep doing”
