You’re gonna make me go insane

A Special Kind Of Stupid

I always was into modelling. My dream job already as a girl was to become a model.
I found it so cool to get the attention and also get paid really well for it
to buy cloth and cars and basicly everything. I knew i was hot because already
in school the older boys always wanted to hang out with me and told me they were in love with me, but i liked the attention more than the boys themself.
My mom always told me that i had to be taller, if i wanted to become a model.
I knew when i researched on the web models are usually tall and i am not that tall, more average. My dad always got annoyed and told me i shoudl finish school and learn something real, but i wanted to become rich.
So when i turned 18 i send my pictures to a lot of online agencies.
i was prepared to get invitations since my fotos looked pretty good.
After 2 weeks of waiting noone replied and i knew these agencies are probably stupid. I didn´t give and tried on, while also befriending a photographer
who told me i could make it big. My first obstacle was this: My breast size was maybe a little bit unusual for a model, but i knew i had one of the most beautiful faces in the model business, so i was dedicated. Noone could stop me. After 6 month of writing to the big agencies who had models for chanel and gucci and all the companies i wanted to work for, i decided to start a little smaller and work my way up, so we made a plan.
My friend -the fotographer- knew a guy who started a modelling agency and i wanted to give it a try. He had his own bureau and everything looked pretty professional. He talked about a 3 year plan on how to place me in the market. Finally someone who got my vision! He started with the first shoot, professional lighting and sexy shots. *click* 

Already after 1 week he told me he had a customer for me.

I was suprised and happy, so asked him what kind of customer since i was curious if it was a clothing company or something big. He told me we will start slowly and it was a smaller customer, he wanted to get to know me first and he will pay good money.
My share would be 5000$ and the meeting would be in summer, so we had 3 month to get in perfect shape. I was really excited. I started to change my diet, loose some pounds and also hit the gym regularily to work on my butt. Also only ate vegan diet, stopped drinking alcohol and got off the pill. My casual boyfriend - my fotographer - wasn´t very happy with the decision, since i told him we can only have condom-sex for the next 3 month, and i took it really serious! My job means a lot to me and he respected that.
1 Month before the meeting my skin got worst thou, since i stopped taking the pill, so i started to get some light acne, which i hated. The makeup artist could cover it a bit, bit i was really unhappy with the situatin. So my agency boss proposed i should take some pills against unclear skin, he gave me a little bottle. Apparently these pills were common to take for models, so i was really happy that i had someone who knew how to fix the skin problems. i took 2 of the pills everyday and my skin got really smooth again.
We had a last checkup 1 week before the big meeting with our well-paying customer. My manager took care of everything, he made shure i am healty and well, he weighted me and we took some final fotoshoot were i posed sexy, and accentuated my round round and my healthy breastsize. *click* 

He was very happy with the results, i looked fantastic on the
fotos, i knew we would win the customer and my carrer could take off. I was motivated. My manager and i went throu our calendar for the meeting again: 

9th off June, Massage and Peeling, 

10th of June - Period (take a day off) 

12-15th of June Gym Routine, Butt & Legs. 

16th of June (from now on only water and vegtables), 

18th of june: stop taking the “skin-pills”

19th of june final medical checkup, 

21th of June Meeting with Customer at 10.00AM. 

I wrote everything down, i was professional and i took it serious, soon my carrer was going to start. On 21th on June i was there already at 7AM, very excited and a bit nervous, so my manager gave me some drops that would make me more relaxed. The makeupartist fixed my face and cleavage really nice, i wore a pink lipstick, a short white skirt and my favortie pink top without a bra underneath, to make it look more natural. I was told we would do a young fashion footing, with some cool controversial backgrounds, it would be a campagne for a new japanese underground fashion label. I was verys open minded about it and looked at the scenery. We had old tables, couches everything very vintage, also a fixing table and some old lamps. “these japanese people are weired” My manager nodded.
We shoot in an old warehouse outside of the city. My manager was there, 2 guys who prepared the background, we had a professional fotographer and a security guy. The sun was about to go down, it was 9.40AM. I just signed the last papers and got ready for our customer. My manager asked me if everything was ok. I told him i felt really relaxed by now almost a bit dizzy, it must be excitement i told myself. “Don´t worry honey tonight we´ll inject some new life into your sleepy career!” We both laughed. I was happy and a bit tired so i sat down on
one of the tables. “Hey! Lizzy! Don´t fall asleep little pumkin!” he shouted to me, “our customer will be here any second now.” “Sorry” i said “i just felt like sitting down, i´m a bit dizzy, i feel funny and i can´t moove my legs” i giggled as i was drunk or something.
“Lizzy, let´s prepare for our customer” the fotographer said “get up and moove a  bit to warm up for the action, lets take some pictures!” he shouted, it was weired because althou he shouted really loud i only could hear as if i had wadding-pads in my ears. I stood up and felt really light, i turned around in and danced in circles, i could feel my huge tits swing under my pink top, i mooved my hands and stumbled. *click*
The guys encouraged me “I think she is ready for some action” my manager nodded to the fotopgrapher. I had to hold myself on one of the tables not to stumble. The guys came to help me. "Lizzy sit down, you need to relax" they said. “Thank you guys” i said, i felt like a little child and was glad they helped me. So lovely. “We will start the action now, you wanna sit on this table Lizzy?”
my manager asked kindly. I looked around , my sight was blurry, as was my ability to speak and to think. clear. I felt really good thou, almost a big high. 

“i — i, yes i wanna sit here” i giggled. It was the fixing table i choose to sit on and i layed down on it. "Let´s make shure you don´t fall down lizzy, what do you think?“ the fotographer asked. "Uhm…ya , shure thing” i babbled. The fixing table felt really comfi. "Of course lizzy, very goood!“ the guys smiled at me while they strapped me on the fixing table. My round butt fited perfectly into the little mould at the edge of the table.
My hands were fixated over my head, so that my tits started to wiggle, my angles and knees were strapped and my kneck was put into a holder. "that way, you can´t fall of lizzy” my manager reashured me. "Oh cooool!  vehhy nice , vehy nice of you guys" i mumbled as i could feel my head spinning.
They spread my legs, until it started to feel strechy and i laughed out “stop it you guys” … At last my waist got fixed. The fotopgrapher made some pictures, *click*
“Oh! Look who arrived!” my manager shouted, it sounded like a jet.
“our cus …our - customm… if here finaly?” I whispered. “ Yes finally!” He said.

After what appeared to me like eternity I saw a shadow apprearing over my head. A Guy. I had never seen this man before. Then i remembered who it might be.

“Our customer!” i babbled. 

“She is very bright” the customer said. Everyone laughed.
“Holy moly, hmhm, Not bad, not bad, you didn´t lie to me about the rack" "I promised you george, she is all natural too!” my manager said. “all nadjual” i nodded and felt our model meeting was going very well. 

“So how much, 8?” the customer proposed. “George, we said - you know, as usuall 10grant, i can´t go down, i also got my costs, medical checkups, fertiliy pills, personal accompaniment of the girls, and…”

“you old cutthroat! alright 10” the customer said. “10, he also got his cosss..” i babbled. Everyone started laughing. “So everything alright with her?” “Shure george, let´s go over it quickly” he said, as they mooved in front of my wide spread legs, my skirt pushed all the way up the my flat stomach, exposing my string-covered pussy, giving them a good view on my strapped waist and
my standing boobs on the fixing table. 

“So…She is, let me see, 18years old, aspiring model, from france originally, then…ok 95F-Cup” “Good god!” the customer interjected. “Yes good god, good god indeed…ehmmm, clean and no STD´s on the check up on thursday, let´s see what else … we got this, ok of course Not on the Pill for 3 month,check, ferility drugs for about 10weeks, stopped taking them last week to not
to interfer with her ovulating-cycle…ehmm what else …" 

The customer interrupted: "So fertility is quite likely right now?” My manager replied: “Our medical check says thumbs up, both of her eggs are ripe, let me see..here …risk of impregnation: right now about 99,8% in case of sperm exposure” I found it so funny what he said and mumbled “fur - till - i - ty - tillity ” i smiled dumbly.
“holy moly, how much did you give her, i also want some of that stuff” the customer laughed and everyone joined in. “also our gynecologist messured 6,5inches for her vaginal tunnel.”
“that means…” “yes george, you will be able to hit her cervix for some good old - may i say "direct injection” to not use a less technical term.“ The old hall filled with laughter.
"sir - vix - Vix - CERVIIIX ” i giggled and felt really light as i tried to moove a bit on my fixing table. “Gosh, can´t someone make that bitch shut up” the fotographer griped.
“Don´t be a funspoil, Better get usefull and remoove that slip! I prefer having totally inhibited access to her fertile little pussy”
“acc - ess” i giggled, as the fotographer cut my slip and made some fotos of me
beeing safely strapped to the fixing table, with my long legs spread the sides and my knees pointing up. *click* 
The customer opened his belt and got closer. First I could only see him as a dark shadow standing over me. Then my blurry view got sharper: He must have been maybe 60years old, with a bald head, not fat, but maybe a bit chubby
and a bit sweaty. Having my neck in the holder, i tried to moove up my head a little to look over my tits and between my legs, to have a look at his boner, that stood up from under his shirt.
He seemed to be very excited! “suu - per - MODL” i failed to articulate.
“Well honey with oversized tits like those you wont quench the thirst of any model agency, hungry for new face… but soon enough those massive boobies might quench the thirst of my hungry baby." 

"Or Babies!” my manager proudly added “the chance of giving birth to twins is increased 5times while on fertility drugs…" Evil laughter filled the room.
In my soft, warm and cloudy feeling i suddenly realized a pointual pressure between my streched legs. Something tried to enter the cloudy feeling, but couldn´t get in. *click* "Her pussy doesn´t seem to like unwanted guests, i´ll have to teach her some propper hospitality, please pass
me the liquid” the customer demanded and took the little bottle my manager gave to him.  
He stuck the tip of the bottle inside my pussy about 4 inches deep and pressed it. I got shakey legs and with an absent stare i repeated  "hosss… pitellty"
It tickeled a bit when the oily, warm liquid went inside, it felt slippery when he slowly pulled it out. leaving one or two last dropplets on my clean pussylips. *click*
He smeared the liquid over the slightly opened lips with his errected dick.
“knock knock … who is there? …the knock up commando!” he said, a tough laughter filled the room.
“don´t knock up please” i giggled. For some reason these words stuck in my head. He pushed the tip of his member slightly against the spot between my oily pussylips. With controlled force my vaginal tunnel got pushed open reluctantly, wrapping tightly around his cock, squeezing him as if my pussy was trying to hold him outside, but the liquid made the entrance slippery, so he slowly got inside me with the kind of ease that apparently got him excited.
“That´s better, i knew you had a nice welcoming pussy and if you take good care of me, i might leave you some present” he moaned in a dark tone. My dizzy head was spinning “well - coooming pusse” i repeated with a stupid smile.
Something big and hard started to mix with my cloudly feelings, streching a part of me, that was not meant to strech by something that big. *click*
“Look at these pictures, they will go viral on the net” the fotographer said.
“We can title them something like : fat old fart knocking up a stupid big titted brunette.”
“What do you mean by old fart?” George said in a jokin manner,
What about “Natural breeding-cow beeing claimed by a really cool guy”. Everyone laughed.
“breeding cow hihi” i giggled as i looked down over my big tits that rhytmically wabbled front and back with every thrust our customer gave me. I saw the siluette of our customer in the twilight of the big hall desperatly rocking back and forth between my spreaded legs, with his hands on my angled knees. “Lizzy. listen to me!” our custome shouted. I listened to him.
“I want you to say : yes, please! - everytime i ask you a question. Got it?!”
I was a bit confused and dizzy but my mouth babbled something :“yesh pleees” i giggled, althou i didn´t exactly understood what it meant in that moment.
“Do you like me Lizzy, do you like me fucking you?” our customer grunted.
“yeee pleeea” i automaticly reacted. “Fuck! This stupid bitch is so tight, it is insane, she´s milking my cock, are you filming it?” George asked out of breath.
“no?” my manager said. “Film it! I wanna be legaly secure in case she wants to sue me”
“Alright big boy, i´m filming” the fotographer said, pulling out his handy.
“Tell me Lizzy, tell me my big tittes model whore!” he yelled.“
"Is this your fetish? do you want me to fuck you on the fixing-table?”
My brain couldn´t quite process the question, but i answerd as demanded : “YES …pleeese?” i said shyly.
“ Lizzy you don´t want me to wear a stupid rubber, you want my unprotected fully loaded dick, you love the perverted kick you get out of having risky, unprotected sex?!” “A stupid rubber”i brooded “if it is stupid i don´t want it” i thought to myself, giggling : “hmm yess pliiis!!”
“Lizzy you know i love your fucking huge tits and wanna make you a mommy, so if you really want it, i will do it for you, pushing the opening of
your fertile cervix and release all of my potent semen inside you, ending your model carrer, once and forever”
I was really ecxcited and shocked: “Semen inside? i wondered and thought “this will end my carrer, but also he said he loves me i should maybe trust him and stop beeing so sceptical”. My mouth reluctantly babbled : "yessh?? Please?”

At this very second i heard an evil groan, I felt my pussy wrapping around his cock, my helpless half-opened cervix kissed the tip of his dick , unwillingly swallowing the first spurt of his aggressive seed. “OMG FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!” he moaned. He come so hard, that i could almost hear the sound of his cum splasing against the wall of my fertile teenage womb. My cervix hungrily drank load after load of his 60year old sperm and gulped it down into my most private insides. At his moment he shot his baby inside me. My young body was forever ruined that day, but it was the best feeling of my life.

Lena was a college dropout without much education, but she looved working with people, especially men, and it was always her dream to work as a masseuse, so she went to a job interview.

The Boss checked her out and immediatly knew she was young, naive, very desperate for a job and somewhat stupid in a charming, girly way…

Boss:
So before you can work here, i have to tell you some very important things you have to avoid with our clients.

Lena:
like what?

Boss:
Well, you are a beautiful young girl and our men are usually a bit horny and somewhat dominant, so they might try to hit on you, don´t let them hit on you!

Lena:
ok i got it *giggles*

Boss:
if they still hit on you and possibly thouch your ass or try to pull down your skirt, you should tell them to stop and maybe even call me, in case i am not working in a session myself ok?

Lena:
shure, i guess i will just call you, since i don´t think i am strong enough to stop
them from pulling down my skirt myself!

Boss:
Are you wearing panties?

Lena:
yes, why?

Boss:
ok, this is just for demontration purposes *pulls down her panties and her top* See what happens! now, the client can see your tits AND your pussy, how do you think this apprearance will impact our clients?

Lena:
oh ok, i see, they might get wrong ideas about the massage wont they?

Boss:
yes girl! so remember this: if clients try to strip you naked you should try to avoid that. but in case some client is stronger than you and he manages to strip you naked you can always ask him to stop ok?

Lena:
ok i got it boss!

Boss:
What you also should avoid is lying on your back, once you got stripped naked

Lena:
lying on my back? why would i lie on my back, i don´t understand, why is that?

Boss:
well ok, i can explain! lie down on the massage table with your back now!

lena did as he commanded.

Boss:
Ok see, once you are in that position it is relatively easy for the client to climb on you!

Lena:
Uhm ok! i get that, that makes sense to me, so how can i stop him once he is on top of me, can i scream for help?

Boss:
Yes you can do that, or if i am in a session myself and i can´t help you should avoid certain behaviours to encourage him to keep on thrusting inside you.

Lena:
Like what? wait i know: i should keep my legs shut right boss?

Boss:
yes you might try that! but most clients will easily be able to spread them anyways, since you are too weak as a girl, see… *demonstrates by spreading her legs and climbing her*. One mistake many girls do is to try to push away his shoulders , since it might come of as encouragement, like now that i am in you, try to push away my shoulders…

Lena: like this?

Boss:
Yes, see how this is not working to stop me?

Lena:
yes i see, you are not stopping at all. ok what else?

Boss:
Ok, you should also never moove your hips towards his dick, since it will make it easier for him to thrust very deep in you, like try it…

Lena:
like this? Owww! It hurts a bit now that you thurst fully in me. ok i got it, no hip moovement! I might write all of this down later it is a lot of stuff to remember..

Boss:
Another thing you should avoid is pushing up your hips! this is a mistake many girls do, try it!

Lena:
pushing up my hips, you mean like this?

Boss:
yes exactly! See how deep i can invade you now? Also in case you don´t do it already, you should start taking the pill, this way you will be protected against an unwanted pregnancy in case a customer might come inside you, before you can stop him…

Lena:
the pill hm … ok i got it, i will get a prescription next month!

Boss:
Next month yes! Good! Very good! So ok. Since you are not on the pill right now there is maybe the most important thing to know if everything went bad for. You have to always and i mean ALWAYS beg the client to use protection, like putting on a condom, this way his orgasm might be delayed and you win time. important time so i might come to help you with the aggressive client.

Lena:
oh ok, Beg him to wear a … a condom …sorry, this is all so much information,i´m not shure if i can remember everything correctly. ok don´t get stripped naked, take the pill, beg them to use a condom…uhmm alright, but is all of this really necessarry boss?

Boss:
I mean see how fast i get aroused by only thursting in you like 6 or 7 times now, and i am almost ready to nut inside you, this is quite comon with young girl like you, since the pussy is still extremely tight, so within like 1 minute of fucking… this is not looking good for you! you should always avoid getting a creampie by our clients.

Lena:
what… what is a creampie? i think i heard of it, is it some massage technique with cream?

Boss:
Omg, you are really stupid aren´t you! Ok Wait a second, i´ll show you! *unloads a huge dump of cum in her protected pussy* …OMG Fuck…

Lena:
that feels so warm boss *giggles*

Boss:
yes! it is my warm potent sperm, it might feel good at first, but on the downside you might get knocked up and i will have to fire you from the job, well…just put your fingers inside you pussy to see what i mean!

Lena:
oh! you are right, that is a lot of cum in my pussy! I… i think i learnt everything i need to know for the job now. so when can i start?

Boss:
well you can start next month, bring in your application and, since you made me cum inside you, i also need a negative pregnancy-test in a about 1 month, then you are hired, otherwise i can´t employ you obviously. Now put on your skirt and your top and leave, i have 2 more girls, the next applicant waiting in the room next door already. Don´t tell her what happened here! You don´t want her to have an anfair advantage do you?

Lena:
Oh shure i don´t want that, i want the job for myself! I won´t tell her what happened i promise! Ok boss, thank you for the lessons! I try to remember it all.

————-

She applied for the job 1 month later with the best of hopes and alhtou her application was excellent she wasn´t hired since her pregnancy-test wasn´t negative at all…

Jenny was neither very smart, nor did she had a beautiful face, althou her body was quite spectacular for a 16-year old teenager, with a big juicy booty, wide birthing hips and long cultivated brunette hair she frequently got hit on by men. After she mooved up from home, she was living on the countryside, she drove like 15 minutes to the next small town, were she worked parttime in a nail studio, to design the nails for older and younger women. Her small room was in a little old house next to the forrest, near to nowhere. 

When she stood near her window, at a every early sunday morning after she just came back home late from a party, she became currious when she saw this guy driving on his motorbike, coming out of the forrest and stopping at the little garage next to her house. What was he doing at this time in this area she thought? The sun hadnd´t even set yet and he got off his bike, left on his helmet and looked left and right. Noone was there. Then she saw him doing something weired, when he took out his dick and started wanking off for like a minute. Then he walked 2 steps to the little trashbin next to the garage.

He just stood there, nervously looking left and right if any saw him. “How Silly” she thought, since at this time there is absolutely noone out here in this lonely village area. She could see him from her little window, how he was stroking his big dick until soon he shot what seemed to about 7 or 8 thick loads of cum into the trashbin.

Jenny was stunned, turned on and disgusted at the same time, it was so bizzare. Then this guy pulled up his pants and left. Jenny was watching him from the window untill he disappeared in the forrest with his bike, then she sneaked out and opened up the trashbin. It was a mess! Thick streams of white slimey goo were running down the walls of the little bin. “This guy is potent for shure” she chuckled to herself and got a little bit nervous when she took her small finger to taste some of the sticky white substance.

“what the fuck am i doing” she stopped herself when she swallowed the little probe, “i must be still drunk from the party, i should get some sleep” and so she went back into her room.

The whole week she thought about what happened and she thought about this weired motorbike guy and the taste of his cum, when she stroked her pussy at night. Jenny often masturbated in the evening, since at her work in the nail studio she only had female customers and in her private time she usually was to shy to speak to men she found hot, because of her mediocre face, althou she probably would have had good chances with her nice make-up, tanned skin, brunette long hair, wide hips and big booty. 

The next sunday she didn´t go the a party, instead she waited all night at the window to the dawn of the morning, until the motorbike guy finally came back to jerk off. She stood at her window, soaking wet and she actually came while watching him. After he left she sneaked out to the trashbin. What a sticky mess. She took a big portion on her finger. A thought flashed into her mind “put it into your pussy”. Then she thought it would be too risky, since she was not on birth controll. She thought if she should go out and ask him next time maybe who he was. But she was too shy and the idea seemed too crazy to her anyways. Her thoughts run wild, “Maybe he was shy too, Maybe he would like to jerk off more than fucking me, Maybe i should just drink a little bit, get loose and then talk to him next time and see what happens. Maybe he will prefer me over the trashbin…” She swallowed the cum on her finger and went to sleep.

Next sunday she sneaked out quite early before dawn. It was a bit cold in the morning, so she put on her long black jacket to hide her naked body and a black string under it. She lay down backwards right next to the trashbin and placed a half full bottle of booze next to her right hand on the forrest soil. To her left she placed her handbag and opened it for him to see the insides, a lipstick, a closed pack of birth control pills she got by her doctor for the first time ever and a small pack of condoms.

“This way the bike-guy would know that he should use a condom with me in chase he would want to do anything” she thought.  Like this, she waited for about 20 minutes. Noone came and the sun already started to come up, almost starting to make her sweat in her jacket. She was about to pack her things and go back to bed. “Silly me, of course he doesn´t come today, he probably found a different girl to have fun with…” she thought, until suddenly she heard a motor noise and acted as if she was passed out.  

When he arrived he saw a young brunette in her jacket, passed out laying next to the trashbin and he slowly got closer. He saw the booze on the floor and thought she must be a drunk party girl who didn´t make it home tonight. He saw the closed pack of birthcontroll pills. He then saw the condoms.
“ I bet she asks every guy she fucks to use one of her condoms! But i´m not one of these guys” he grinned to himself. 

Jenny waited, laying on the warm soil with closed eyes and expected him to pick up the condoms any second now. she then heard some noises and knew he just opened his pants to probably put on one of the rubbers to start something with her.

He quickly wipped out his dick , zipped up her jacket to get a  better look at her tits. “Damn, must have been a wild party! This slut has an amazing body, look at these birthing hips” he thought to himself “knocking that up wouldn´t be the worst thing in the world” he grinned. Then he pulled down her little black string down to her painted pink footnails. “I will teach you a little lesson about getting too drunk” he mumbled as he couldn´t wait to penetrate the hotties pussy immediatly.

She heard him mumble and then suddenly felt something between her legs, it tickeled a bit, he rubbed back and forth and then suddenly pushed deep into her. It hurt! But also it kinda turned her on so much , that it was difficult not not make any noises. After she reiceived about 10 hard thrusts he was getting more and more thrilled about the thought that she might have forgotten her pills and he imagined how much fun it would be to ruin her young innocent body without her knowing who it was… 

As Jenny slowly started to get seconds thoughts about the whole situation, she felt him aggresivly pushing very deep into her until he hit resistance. His dick pushed into her teenage-cervix. “Fuuck!!” she screamed in pain and opened her eyes in panic as she looked down to discover that she was in serious trouble, as she saw that the dick that was streching out her pussy wasn´t covered by a condom. He took her the risky way without any protection. 

He reacted fast, since he thought she just woke up and grabbed her shoulders to push her down while he looked right into her eyes with an evil grin and groaned: “ i´m going to shoot some fucking thick loads into your girly pussy, marking you for life, knocking you up with my seed, you little slut. I´m apparently long enough to push into your cervix, so good luck with not getting pregnant when i flood your helpless womb with my sticky cum!!” 

She was shocked and immediatly thought about something clever to answer. As she was about to find the right words on how to beg him to pull out, the feeling of the first thick rope of potent semen hitting the walls of her fertile womb ended her struggle. The hot feeling of helplesslly getting flooded by his seed turned her on and at the same time made her panic.

He groaned and moaned as he unloaded his balls into Jennys tight pussy, joyfully grabbing her wide hips to push in nice and deep. “Fuck you bitch! That was amazing!” he laughed exhausted. He got up, pulled up his pants and jumped on his bike to leave into the forrest.

Jenny still felt disgusted and turned on at the same time and she waited until he left, still wondering what the fuck happened. She pulled up her string and her jacket and run back into the house, to lay into her bed. After some time, she pulled down her pants and hoped for some reason everything was alright. Her string was clean, no cum on it. Her pussy , no cum on it. She sticked her finger inside her pussy, no cum on her fingers. Maybe it was going to be ok she thought. She really didn´t wanted to admit that she screwed up big time. She tried to deny that all his cum was of course deep inside her, finding its way to her ripe eggs. About 2 month later there was no more way to deny it, when her collegues at work started to ask questions about who the father is, pointing at her babybelly that started to show underneath her top.

She didnt know who the father was, but thought she´ll never see him again. Some weeks after she gave birth she went down to bring out the trash. When she opened the bin, she saw some sticky white stuff running down the walls and a little note on it. - It said : “Welcome to mootherhood my little cumdumpster - till sunday!”

Jenny was excited to meet him again.

Eve had always been a shy, introverted girl. With her blonde hair and big boobs she always felt ashamed when the boys in her class made comments about her figure so she started wearing big sweaters to hide, so from now on only her beautiful face could tell you that she was a hotty. In school she was well manered and obidient, always afraid that people wouldn´t like her if she didn´t do what they wanted from her, this was especially true for older man.

At the age of 17 her grades got increasingly worse, since she coulnd´t follow the subject matters -especially math- anymore, So she decided it would be a good idea to just earn some money to buy cloth and get herself some job-interviews, for different things like hairdresser, cleaning-lady or babysitting.

When she got the call back for the job as a babysitter from Mr&Ms. Tomson, she wondered why she had to give so much information about herself, instead of her CV and the school-certificate. Instead she had to give information about her weight, her hair colour, if she was on the pill and her ovulation cycle. (Ms. Tomson didn´t knew her husband asked these additional questions at the job-application)

Eve was happy that someone was actually interessted in her, rather than in her bad grades and she was actually glad that Mr. Tomson was asking these easy questions, so she answered quite detailed, how she was about 120lbs, but not the skinny type, more busty and that she would like to earn some money now that she turned 17 and she thought the pill is a silly waste of money and she got no boyfriend anyways right now, and how her period always annoys her, how it was 6 days ago and this and that ….and all of that in her naive way and her squeeky voice on the phone. 

Mr. Tomson seemed to be very happy with this new candidate and she felt very lucky when she finally got invited by Mr. Tomson for her first job on the day exactly two weeks after her period stopped. 

She wore the skirt she was asked to wear for the interview and Mr. Tomson didnt loose any time when she rang the bell at his house at the end of the street on a monday evening.

“My wife is not at home, come in, take off your shoes and come with me Eve and get yourself comfortable on the couch!” he said.”you can also lay down if you like…”

“ok Shure” she laughed  “I´m not sure about the laying down thou”  

“ if you don´t want to work here you can also leave!” he said in a stern voice.

“i … i´m sorry, i just think , well , i´m not shure about laying down on the couch”

“Let me be honest with you Eve!” Mr. Tomson replied. “At a job interview you should always do as you are asked to do, otherwise there will be no jobs for you young lady, and your big titties won´t help you in the job-market if you don´t develop some manners!”

She immediatly became insecure and didn´t wanted to make a bad impression on her future employer, so she layed down on the couch as she was told.

“See that´s better, you don´t want to be unemployed do you?” asked mr. tomson.

Eve shook her head as she pulled down her short little skirt.

“no need for pulling down” he said as he started to remooved her short skirt. “you need to learn a lot” he told her while he was happy to see, she was too confused to stop him and also seemed to have followed his demand on the phone not to wear any panties around his house.

But , but Mr. Tomson … Eve asked “are you shure this is necesssary for me getting the job?, i mean i thought i mean to babys…”

“Eve! Do you want this job or not?” he asked her in a harsh voice, pulling out his already errected dick.

Uhm i … well i  … well yes i want it Mr. Tomson. I´m sorry, i did´nt mean to be rude or anything. I´m just a bit nervous i guess.

“This is the last warning Eve!” Mr. Tomson said, rubbing his bare dick against her unprotected vagina seeing her eyes widen in panic. 

“I don´t like girls that act like that around the house!”, putting in the tip and giving her a very strict look. I think that´s not the propper way to behave for a girl at all. You will not get a job like that and you will have to go back to school. I looked at your grades btw. and it doesn´t look very good for you. I would really want to give you the job as a babysitter, but if don´t start beeing more nice, you can get your things and….

“No, no! it´s nothing” eve mumbled, since she knew this job would be a really good opportunity for her right now.

“Fine! I let this one slip” he said, starting to thrust his dick into her vulnerable pussy, while pushing up her top to get a better look at eves well developed huge boobs. “damn! comon, open up a bit” he said as he spat on his cock. We already talked about this.”

Eve opened her legs wide and let him enter her reluctantly, especially because she wasn´t shure about the fact that she couldn´t see a condom on his dick…

“Now!” he demanded, “tell me about your boyfriend again…”

“Mr. Tomson as i told you on the phone before i don´t have a boyfriend, actually i never had… had a men before remember? I told you this when you asked me why i don´t use birth controll pills and that´s also why i would like you to put on a con…” 

He interrupted her again ”Do you think you could still work as a babysitter if you get pregnant? I mean if i made you a hot little blonde teenager with a big round belly tonight, do you think anyone would employ you?”

What? Why would i , i mean … No i think that would not be a good idea, Mr. Tomson!” Eve stuttered as he appearantly started to enjoy fucking her more and more with every thrust he gave her.

“So you said on our job-application on the phone that you had your last period like what…12 days ago and you are on peak.ovulation right now? Well, I wouldn´t employ a lier, so i assume you told the truth, Eve!” 

“Yes of course Mr. Tomson. I didn´t lie to you!” Eve whispered as Mr. Tomson started to massage her huge tits while he thrusted into her incredibly tight and completly unprotected teen-pussy,

Gooood little girl” he grinned as he pleasurably pushed his dick a little deeper into Eve. 

“So since you are that honest to me, i also want to be completely honest to you, okay? I want us to respect each other, good?”

“Shure i also want us to be honest Mr.Tomson” she said..

“So let me tell you Eve, you are a very hot little girl, with your blonde hair and your amazing titties and i honestly would love to shoot a huge load of sperm deep inside your unprotected pussy to knock you up, even thou i know you have other plans for your life. So! Tell me where you want me to cum! Since i´m honestly really close. Make your honest decision, what is it, my pleasure or your future and remember to be honest Eve, don´t lie to me.

“No Mr. Tomson, i won´t lie to you.”

So tell me!! *Grunting* Tell me, i´m about to shoot!

Sorry Mr. Tomson, but i honestly don´t want you to cum inside me. I don´t want you to make a big creamy mess inside my fertile pussy, i´m actually really afraid of getting knocked up by for seed, because i´m not on the pill and you don´t wear a condom…

With these words Mr. Tomson could not hold back his massive load anymore and he exploded deep into Eve´s tight teenage pussy, flooding her fertile little womb and knocking her up with thick spurts of semen until his balls were pumped completely empty. Then he pulled out with a plop and left the shocked girl on the thouch to get a shower himself. “Thanks for beeing honest to me Eve, i honestly enjoyed unloading my cum into you, gotta get a shower now…”

Exhausted she laid there for a while, after he left, then she got dressed and went back home to think about what just happened. The next morning she woke up, it finally dawned on her that her pregancy was going to ruin her life, when she still saw thick streams of Mr. Tomsons cum runing out of her tight teenage-pussy.

Disclaimer : This is a story about a beautiful young girl, who gets mocked in school for her big boobs. She is naive enough to decide against taking the pill and yet wants to have some fun on a festival,ending up getting really drunk enabeling the possibility to unwillingly getting inseminated by a 50 year old pervert while beeing on her peak fertility. If these kinds of fantasies are not your taste, please feel free to leave this blogg. To everyone else: I hope you enjoy the - quite dark - story. Have fun reading…

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Jim - a mid 50th guy from the countryside - went out for this town-festival-party in one of the smaller towns in his area this night.
People are quite stupid on the landside he thought to himself, but they drink a lot
and then the party is usually fun, if noone starts to get into a serious fight that is.
Also, sometimes there are cute girls, quite often actually he thought. There
are some natural diamonds that are really undervalued in the smaller towns.
That´s were he would come in… well quite literally he chuckled to himself as he got ready for the party.

On the same night a young girl - Becky - was preparing for the party as well.
She was so annoyed that everyone in her class mocked her because she didn´t had a boyfriend and still beeing a virgin. She was already 16 years young
and had blonde hair. Her classmates described her as a very naive girl. She had a beautiful face and already some nicely developed titties, that were strictly speaking way too big for her age and usually gave her quite some unwanted attention from the boys in her class.

But until recently she never really was intressted in a boyfriend. That changed some month ago when her hormones really started to take over her brain. She didn´t plan anything specific for this night, but definetly wanted to make out with a guy at the party or something like that.
So, she put on some nice lipstick and her favorite panties with the little tie, in case a boy might even touch her “down there”. She weaved her braids and put on a traditional white and red dress for the town-festival, that accentuated her huge breasts quite well, maybe a little bit too well…

Some hours later Jim accidentally met with Becky for the first time at the party and flirted a bit with her, she was actually enjoying the attention from this guy who was much older, althou he wasn´t that attractive with his little beer-belly, and so she stopped talking to him when her classmates came. She didn´t wanted them to see her talking to a guy that was much older than her, rather she wanted to impress them with making out with a hot guy from their class. When she stopped talking to him after some quite heavy flirting and telling him she might be a virgin *heavily implying that she actuall was one*, he didn´t took it personally. He thought he will get a better one, a girl with even bigger boobs maybe he dreamt, althou the virgin part triggered his desire for her quite a bit.

Before he left her, he joked around with her and told her - like a daddy would do - to always use condoms in chase she might loose her virginity tonight, and she just chuckled and said in a playful way: “ well first of all mister, i don´t plan to do this kind of thing tonight, because i am not like that and seconds of all, getting some guys cum in my princess parts on the day of fertility is not really a “party-thing” for me”!! He nodded and said : “well” and replied in cheeky way “for guys like me this might be a party-thing to do ! see you around Becky…”.

She laughed of what he said and said bye. Without wanting to think about it, for the rest of the evening she had nasty thoughts about guys desiring her so much they would shoot their load inside her. How that might feel? She was a bit scared by the imagination of  herself getting pregnant. She had no idea why it turned her on, so she forgot about it and started to have fun with her class-mates.
They drank some beer and took some selfies, talked about their plans for the future and boys and for once she really felt part of the group. No jokes about her beeing a virgin or anything. After the 2nd beer she started to get the effects of the alcohol and felt really smashed.

Later that evening Jim was standing at one of the bars listening to some music and was getting his 2nd number of the evening. A young brunette with small tits was talking to him and she was quite talkative. She told him that “maybe she likes the fact that you could be my daddy” “i might like that too” he grinned and put her number in his phone, since she was about to leave now. He was glad he already got 2 numbers, but he knew how it sometimes goes, the girls getting second thoughts and not answering the phone, so he still was interessted to get some life-action now. He passed by Becky one more time and saw her
making out with a fat guy who was too shy to grab her big tits. “I might hang around” he thought, maybe i will get my chance…

10 Minutes later Becky went off and left her classmates, so he followed her with some distance, the place was still quite crowded and he lost her several times. Then he saw she was leaving the entrance of the party and was walking to the trainstation, just 2 minutes from there. Jim saw her that she met someone she knew, since they talked and they entered the train together. So he also got on the same train, just one waggon before hers. The train was super crowed and he felt a bit tired, so he closed his eyes for a second, commited to talk to Becky later again…

Suddenly the train stopped and Jim woke up. “Fuck! Where am i? What happened? Fuck! I fell asleep in the train. What an idiot i am! FUCK this Shit!
I lost her!” He thought. “Well at least i got my car at the last station”
The voice in the speaker said, “next stop is the last stop! Please leave the train everyone!“ So he stood up and walked to the door waiting for the last station.
There he saw her again.

First he wasn´t shure if it is her, since the girl was wearing a black raincape and was sleeping, almost falling of the bench. She slept sideways on two of the seats with her head next to the wall, one hand at her face and one hand hanging down on the dirty trainfloor, next to a half-full bottle of booze.

He sat next to her and tipped on her shoulder. "Becky! Hey Becky!” No reaction. He took her shoulders and mooved her up. She was passed out. He mooved her left arm around his shoulder and tried to make her stand up. Luckily she was quite a thin girl, besides her well developed boobs, that he could have a good look on under the half-opened black raincape, they were squeezed together by her hanging arms and looked quite juicy to him. “what a hot little girl you are, you stupid little breeding cow” he whispered to himself.

Suddenly Jim heard someone on the bench behind them snorring and then starting to mawn and slowly waking up. Not to awake any suspicion, he acted as if he was calling someone on the phone. “Hey Hi! Jeah it is me Jim, Jeah Becky is quite drunk, can you take us at the last station, Jeah just pick us up in 10 minutes then…. great mate, thank you..see you later… jeah she drank too much and needs rest now…ok see you later mate.”

The train stopped and they got out. Some of the people that passed them by where also coming home from the party and were just singing and
not paying much attention to becky, only one guy joked “you should tell your daughter to drink less mate!” “haha, you have no idea how many times i told her. But jeah, at least she will not end up going home with a classmate getting pregnant” he laughted. “True!, Take care!” The group replied, walking on. He nooded and walked on with Becky to the parking spot. Since it was dark night and far away from the next big town, there were only little cars on the parkingspot , one of them was Jim´s. He took Becky behind the parking spot, threw his jacked on the meadow and layed her down with her back on his jacket.

She rolled on her back mumbling something and fell asleep again, hands to the sides. “Becky!” he said…  “Becky!” he checked. No reaction, only suddenly she breathed loudly and then went back into unconsciousness. “Good” he thought and took of her black raincape. It was a mild summernight so he had no idea why becky was wearing this ridiculous cape in the first place. He then went on to remoove her red and white little skirt. He saw her nice special pants with the little cute tie on them and slightly shoved them to the left side. “Hmmm… Becky! You even shaved for the party night! How thoughtful you are. Don´t tell me you didn´t prepare for some serious fun.” he grinned and unbuttoned his trowser. He pushed up her blouse to have a better look at her propper filled C-Cup Bra. It was probably already to small for Becky, so he pull it up towards her upper chest to expose her two wiggely friends. The slightly mooved to each side, but stood amazingly good althou their size was quite respectable. “I know with boobs like these you will convince alot of boys to cum on your boobs instead of shooting their sperm into you” he laughed. “Let´s see if you can convince me too! And with an evil grin he grabbed her hips and started to hit the tip of his dick on her shaved pussy …

“So Becky!! You were telling me about you still beeing a virgin, you remember? Well maybe you should stop telling it to random guys at partys. There is a big chance a pervert might start to fantasize about deflowering your pussy and break your helpless unprotected virgin hymen. Well… guess who got lucky tonight!” He smiled and spat on her pussy and used the spit to get his dick wet. “Imagine this was a normal defloration, with a nice guy from your class, this would be the perfect moment to beg him to put on a condom on his dick. Becky itched a bit, her tits slightly mooved and she fell back to her drunk sleep.

I mean, we already got to know each other a bit, when we flirted at the party, but still: a condom might be a good idea for your protection, since you don´t know me well enough to have some raw, bare, totally unprotected fun with me.” He felt more and more blood rushing into his dick. “Normaly you would beg for protection and the boy would use a rubber like any normal boy.” He spread her legs a bit more and opened her pussylips with his thumbs just a bit. “But since i want it to be something really special and totally unforgetable for you i decide to leave the condoms away ! “Becky mooved her head, trying to roll to the side, but Jim had her hips in a tight grip, so she coulnd´t moove. “I will claim my right to enjoy your shaved teenage pussy completely bare and natural, because that feels best to me and i am shure you will accept your resonsibility in case anything goes wrong” he said with an evil smile.

When Becky started to moove again, he hold her hips tightly and started to enter Beckys tight pussy with his unprotected penis, slowly breaking her hymen and taking away her virginity once and for all. With his left hand Jim grabbed one of her volouptous tittes and massaged it while gently penetrating Beckys pussy. The blonde girl silently moaned when her hymen got broken in and Jim knew he was in full controll of the situation.

“So i have to say Becky i liked our little flirt earlier. I didn´t wanted to say, but
i imagined to have sex with you when we met at the party, althou i wouldn´t have admitted it then. I knew we would end up together, althoug i imagined you making me wear one of those stupid rubbers! Jim moaned while starting to fuck Becky a little bit faster now. “Well i´m glad you are not like that Becky, you are a good girl, respecting the mans desire to enjoy you raw, even if it is quite risky for you.” He went on sliding his big dick in and out of the drunk teenager, enjoying every second of it very much. When she started to get more and more wet, he felt he was in heaven.

“I remember hearing you say something along the lines of "getting cum inside on the day of fertility is not really a "party-thing” for girls” you remember that Becky? Oh i thought it was a funny thing to say. And do you remember me saying “for guys like me it might be?” Well actually i have to confess something to you becky. It is quite a turn-on for me to do that. Marking a young girl like you with my seed and ruining her future is quite hot, don´t you think?” Jim focused on her young helpless pussy and pounded her very deep with his bare cock, imagining her two ripe eggs, ready to be soaked in his cum.

“I mean the fact that you have 2 ripe eggs in you right now and the fact that i could easily get you pregnant right now feels really powerful to me. A little precum might be enough, it might already be too late for you Becky, maybe i can´t manage to pull out and shoot one of my many big ropes of cum into you, what then?“ I mean i understand that you probably wouldn´t want it, since it would destroy your future but i just wanted to confess it to you Becky. Are you ok with it? You want me to shoot a little baby into you Becky?

Please don´t tell you don´t want that, because i´m really close now, i haven´t ejaculated any sperm in 3 days and i ….

Suddenly he heard a noise. He put out the handy light and layed on top of Becky quietly. 2 People were passing by on the near parking spot. They were singing and laughing, got in the car and left.

"Fuck this was close Becky, we almost got caught, ok here is an idea, it is not fun here for me, i will take you to my place, what to you think? You like it? I know it is only our first date, but since you already have my precum in your pussy you might as well agree coming home with me right? He joked , Becky made a snorring sound”
Ok then!“ He rolled the girl off of his jacked, put it on, and took Becky over his shoulder and put her in the trunk of his car.

After a 15 minute ride into the forrest he stopped the car, got becky, left his trunk
opened and brought her to his living room to place her on the couch before undressing her completely. He placed her stomach down, face down on the couch with her hips and ass hanging over the edge of the couch, giving him a nice view of her backside.

"You like my living-room becky? it isn´t that bad is it! He activated his camera
and filmed was what going on on the couch. By this time Jim was rock hard again and spat on his thick cock that was full of precum, in fact almost overflowing, with a little bit of pre-cum leaving the tip of his dick.
"Becky look, theres  cum on my dick” he pushed into the wasted teenager. “Who knows maybe this little droplet will somehow get into your womb, but don´t worry it might not be enough.

He started to slowly fuck her, enjoying the very tight sensation of her half-wet pussy. "omg this is so good, you feel so fucking tight, i have to go slow or i will explode immediatly inside of you, we don´t want that. do we becky?” He keept on thursting into her tight cunt very deep. He pushed her asscheeks to together and slapped them while fucking the drunk beautiful breeding cow, while her body rubbed on the couch with every trust Jim gave her. “Fuck Becky, i´m close now, i can´t believe how tight you are, you know there are two options for me to cum now. I can either be very, very intimate with you and do something that no other man has ever done to you bevore and if i am successful, no other man can do that to you for at least 9month. I can make you mine fully and pump my huge load of semen deep into your unprotected ovulating teenage-womb.” He groanded and slowed down a bit…

That! … or i could shoot my cum on your juicy young asscheeks, your back and in your hair and all over the whole couch.. trust me, if i didn´t came for three days it will be a huge mess! You know i have a thing with all my girls, when they ask me to not cum inside them i either do it anyways or i spare them. You wanna see how it looks if i spare a girl and shoot my sperm all over her? You wanna have some proof i sometimes spare girls? Ok check it out!”

Jim pulled his thick dick out of Beckys unprotected and freshly shaved teenage pussy with a plop and then slowly walked over to turn on his TV-screen.  There it showed a clip of Jim with a blond Girl. He was fucking her in the same position on the couch, her laying down with her face and boobs on the couch and he heavily rammed the girl from behind. She even kinda looked like Becky. You could hear she was saying something, althou the Soundquality was not perfect you could clearly hear her say: “Pull out! Remember , you promised, I mean, on the pill anyways, but still i don´t want to risk getting pregnant! Please! Cum on my ass and in my hair instead”. In the video Jim started to fuck her harder, then suddenly beginning to spasm, pulling out of the blond girl, and suddenly shooting two or three big white ropes of cum all over her back, then two more into her hair, then two more, then two more on her ass, and two more, then going slowly rubbing his dick clean on her ass, which the girl starting to laugh, what a mess he made, all recorded with his camcorder. Then the video stopped.

"See Becky, i could do this to you too, if you ask me kindly, and first of all give me a good reason not to anything more risky. THat is… if you ask nicely like a good little slut to shoot my cum on your ass and in your hair”.

“See, i got sluts on my couch all the time, but to be honest, they are rarely stupid enough to not be on birth-controll. And shurely they are not naive enough to tell me about that” Jim laughed and slowly mooved behind Becky again , rubbed his dick between her tight pussylips and with one big thrusts he shoved his fat cock back into her tight unprotected teen-pussy. "HMM fuck, you know what becky? I might even keep you here, let´s say as my fuck toy and if you are lucky you will become my breeding-cow. Tomorrow before you wake up with a hang-over i will give you some nice drops that will help you, they will prevent you from stumbeling over some tree in the forrest, because they will make you unable to moove your muscles. isn´t that nice? Well also there´s some form of fertility drug in those drops, but i don´t think you will need them, beeing quite young and fertile yourself, but just in case. Every morning i will give you these drops, everytime you will ask me for some water there will be drops in it. So don´t worry you will be protected for quite some time.
I plan to keep you for at least one or two weeks, maybe longer, let´s see.
So anyways, what´s your decision Becky, i´m about to shoot my load any second now, should it be on your nice teeny asscgeeks or should i make you mine and ruin your beautiful young body, giving you my seed, making a baby in you. i´m shure in this position your  womb has no other choice than to swallow every last drop of my thick cum until it is all deep inside you.

Becky just mumbled something and mooved her hips half-consciously and very sexy from from side to side, giving him the signal: That was too much for Jim….

…aahhhhhhhhhhhhh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck……jeaaaaahh…ahhhhhhh” Jim started to let go and exploded with the first heavy rope of potent sperm deep into Beckys totally helpless and ovulating womb.

With heavy deep thrusts he started to shoot jet after thick jet of slimey sperm
deep into her receiving pussy. Becky only made a loud snorring noise, as if waking up from a bad dream. Then Jim pushed himself into Beckys juicy pussy completely with another joyfull thrust , entering her womb with the tip of his dick and shot big ropes of cum directly into her fertile young helpless womb, sucking in Jim´s semen and sealing her fate forever.

Spurt after spurt of hot jizz shot deep into beckys pussy until she was almost overflowing. After Jim emptied himself with 8 or 9 ejaculations he stayed in Becky for a while enjoying the feeling of his power over her, then he pulled out his half-errected dick with a plop, her pussy closing almost completly behind the remooved dick keeping his sperm where it was most usefull.

“ohoh! look´s like you are already more then full with my cum. Ok let´s give you a little break. Tomorow morning i will be there for you with some nice special breakfast. Have a good night Becky, i will let you sleep like that, it will enshure some cum to gravitate towards you ovaries, making shure that this deflowring  made a lasting impression on you” Jim grinned and went to bed and get some sleep.

The next morning he was so horny he wanted to immediatly fuck her tight pussy again, even before she got the drops, he stuck his dick in after 3 minutrs of enjoying her tight pussy he came into her again while she woke up, giving him some light resistance, still having a bad hang-over. When he ejaculated into her she asked him “what are you doing? are you… cum… cumming? did you? did you just came inside me? she said half hung-over half in shock.

While she spoke Jim gave her the drops and she started to relax her muscles again. "I will go to the town now, when i´m back i will fill you up once more before i go to work, Becky, the drops are so you won´t hurt yourself, after all you might be a mother now … and if not we will make shure you will become one very soon! ” he grinned at her and closed the door.

there it is

My older brother’s wife had their second son today, and I cannot think of anything nice to say.

Not. One. Thing.

I thought my first nephew’s name was fucking stupid. I still do. But the second one’s name is so fucking atrocious, such fucking trendster fuckface bullshittery, that I cannot even believe my brother and I are related. Like, does he not realize the social ramifications of having a fucking shitty name?

You know what? No. He doesn’t. He got a normal name. My baby brother did, too. I was the one who got the fucking outdated weird name that could easily be made fun of and still is to this day. It’s bad enough that our last name is shitty and can’t be pronounced despite being very obviously pronounceable, but now I have nephews with fucking bullshit names, and I am disappointed and even a little pissed off at my brother for what he’s named his two sons.

Do I have any right to be angry? No, of course not. Is that realization and acknowledgement going to stop me? Fuck, no, it’s not.

Here’s a tip to all you young folks wanting to have children: think of your child’s future before you name them. Would it be cool to name your child “Tiberius”? In theory, yes. Cool nickname in “Ty” or “Bear”. But then think about the child named “Hubert”. Nobody wants that name.