“Life is so unfair. When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to put the gun down’.”
not only a contender for top 5 most queer starsky & hutch freeze frame endings but also insane. literally insanity. what DID you have in mind starsky, do tell
Tap Dancing Her Way Right Back Into Your Hearts is amazing because it is so horny and so gay that it almost distracts you from how many questions it raises. Namely,
How did this happen? Does Dobey normally pimp his officers out in the name of justice? Was this all his idea? How did that conversation go? Did he haul Hutch and Starsky into his office and tell them one of them was going to have to lie back and think of Bay City and they got to decide who it was? How would they have done that? Was it because Starsky is marginally a better dancer than Hutch so he got to be the dance instructor? Or did they flip a coin? What would the coin flip have decided? Who got to sleep with the dance lady or who had to sleep with the dance lady? Or did none of that happen and Dobey just said to Hutch “Hutchinson, you’re kind of slutty, right?”
Or did Hutch volunteer for this? Did Starsky volunteer him somehow and he just went with it?
Or was it like in 90 Pounds of Trouble where they went up to Dobey together and were like “Captain…we have…and IDEA.” And Dobey’s just like “No, you absolutely do not” before immediately folding. If that’s the case, how crazy does an idea from these two have to be for Dobey have to stick to his guns when telling them no?
Also was Hutch being a cowboy a condition of him going through with this? Was he like “ok I’ll do it but only if I get to be a cowboy”
Multiple women fawning over the boys even though these are easily the least heterosexual disguises they have ever adopted, which is saying something
Their undercover IDs are definitely a couple
Hutch flirting with the blind cigar seller
The owner of the hair salon knows they’re cops and still expects them to do their jobs and treating them like misbehaving employees whenever they disappear to do police work
Salon owner gets mad bc Starsky is 40 minutes late for work so she grabs Hutch by the collar and drags him across the counter, demanding to know where Starsky is
Hutch (in character) calling Starsky a “naughty naughty boy” over the phone
Starsky with his bare feet on Dobey’s desk
The red herring of the old senile guy in the bathtub wearing one of those old style German helmets with the spike
Starsky in character being weirdly possessive over a ladder
Why the hell is this episode called Dandruff in the first place?
Hutch nearly drowns a woman while washing her hair. This seems…semi-intentional….
The fiasco with Starsky and the hair dryer that results in both of them being chased out of the salon and earns Starsky a good talking to by the salon owner (Starsky escapes with his ladder)
The blind cigar seller deducing that Hutch is undercover because “he’s no hairdresser, his hands are too tough.” Hutch seems flattered by this?
The boys keeping up their bizarre disguises even when alone with people who know they’re cops
“What if we get one our own gays-” “Gays?” “Guys.” “Oh.” “A gay to impersonate a guy-”
Everything about Huggy
When Huggy shows up in disguise as a Nigerian (?) Prince, he’s carrying…I think it’s called an irukere and I want you to appreciate the google journey I went on trying to figure out what it’s called. Anyway, it’s made of horsetail I think and when Huggy refuses to let go of it, Starsky starts furiously trying to run a comb through it
Starsky getting into an argument with the diamond guy over the correct nomenclature of the container holding the diamonds, then Diamond Guy agreeing to let the boys do whatever they want just to get out of the conversation. Starsky’s smug look is amazing
The boys spending the episode tag getting pedicures. Hutch is still wearing his goofy sunglasses
huggy in sweet revenge though, gosh, he’s just so good. there for hutch to talk to and hand him car keys and tell him to take it slow. quietly following hutch on his quest for revenge and/or justice, and stealing paper with vital information for hutch because he knows hutch wouldn’t or wouldn’t think to. keeping an eye on dobey, trying to get him to eat something when he stops doing that. hanging around the hospital, waiting for starsky’s condition to change, and staying by far the most level-headed in the middle of the crisis. and then at the end, of course, sneaking into starsky’s room for the little private happy end party, bringing the wine and a lantern, so fittingly a little guiding light in the dark - which he then promptly hangs on the sprinkler, because he’s huggy, and he’s intimately aware of how these starsky & hutch tag scenes are supposed to go.
