Ella Dawson has genital herpes, and she wants to tell you about it.
She’s not speaking up for the shock value — she’s telling you because she wants all of us to be able to talk about STIs without shame or stigma. When we make it okay to talk about, she says, people are more likely to get tested and less likely to be afraid to share their status.
Inher badass talk at TEDxConnecticut College, Ella tells the story of her diagnosis, how she overcame feeling like “human trash,” and why we need to end the stigma — now. It’s packed with information (and a shot of humor), and if you didn’t already agree with her, you will by the time she’s done.
Edging – What is it? It’s the sexual technique of repeatedly building up to an orgasm and delaying the release each time. While for the most part orgasm is the end goal of sex preventing release might seem counter intuitive.
Why do it?But here’s five reasons to edgeCan intensify the actual orgasmImprove staminaAid in prolonging sexCan help achieve multiple orgasms
Your sexuality is a part of yourself, and as such, deserves as much care as the rest of you. This can look like…
* Deciding for yourself when, whether, and with whom to engage in sex. * Deciding that sex just isn’t for you, and that’s okay. * Getting regular OB/GYN or urologist checkups. (And being honest with your doctor!) * Getting tested for STIs regularly, especially in between partners. * Saying “no” to sexual acts that make you uncomfortable, or that you don’t feel ready for. * Exploring and learning what you like and don’t like. * Learning about sex, anatomy, birth control, etc. especially if the sex ed you had during your formative years was nonexistent or just straight-up garbage. * Ditching purity culture and all its empty promises. * Using reliable birth control unless and until you want a baby. * Deciding for yourself when and whether to have children, and how many to have. * Deciding for yourself what you will do if you have an unplanned pregnancy. * Being really honest with yourself about whether you personally can do casual hookups, or whether you absolutely need to have a relationship in order to have sex. * Communicating and setting boundaries with partners. * Making sure that if you choose to have sex, you’re doing so for the right reasons (i.e. not just to please your partner, or “fit in,” or what have you) * Making sure you get your share of the pleasure pie, too. * Listening to what your body is telling you. * Letting go of shame. * Ditching toxic diet culture and learning to love your body, or at least accept it. * Understanding that porn is a fantasy; it is nothing like real sex with a real human being. * Getting help for porn and sex addictions. * Letting go of internalized misogyny, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc. * Learning to both give and receive pleasure. * Learning to communicate what you need. * Taking responsibility for your own thoughts, words, actions, omissions, marital fidelity, feelings, etc., instead of dumping that on other people. * Dressing for yourself, in clothes that make you happy (within the scope of appropriateness for a given occasion), not to either attract or repel any sex or gender. * Deciding for yourself what labels define your sexuality or gender, or whether any labels fit at all. * Carrying condoms/dental dams/etc. with you on dates, even if you don’t end up needing them. * Making sure someone knows where you are when you go on dates or hook up with people. * Understanding that being rejected doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with you, and not taking that as a personal affront. * Learning what healthy relationships look like. * Getting help for and healing sexual trauma of any kind. * Deciding for yourself what you share (or don’t share) on the Internet about your sexuality, your past, etc. * Learning how consent actually works. * Showing concern for your partner’s well-being and pleasure, as well as your own. * Not using sex/porn/masturbation/etc. as a way of masking or avoiding your personal or relationship problems. * Not tying your sexual history (or lack thereof) to your worth as a human being, or as a partner. * Deciding that what other people think of you is their responsibility, not yours. * Getting out of toxic relationships. * Not sleeping with your ex. * Going no further or faster than you really want to go. * Deciding for yourself whether you’re into kink or not. (And that vanilla is valid!) * Peeing after sex. * Being honest with yourself and your partners. * Developing a positive body image. * Accepting that both you and any partners you have will have a past, good, bad, and ugly, and not judging or defining yourself or them by it. * Really getting to know someone before agreeing to move in with them, have a baby with them, marry them, etc.
MEMORIZE THE PACKAGING SO YOU MAKE SURE YOU NEVER BUY THIS CREAM FOR YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU LOVE.
This post is about vaginas. My vagina in particular. I get yeast infections pretty regularly, and until recently I was able to afford to see a doctor who could prescribe me fluconazole.
Fluconazole, a drug also known by the brand name Diflucan, is a small pink pill. You take two pills a few days apart from each other to restore balance and harmony to your bountiful folds. I’ve never ever had a bad side effect from taking this pill.
Cut to November 2016. I’m a recent college grad without reliable health care coverage in the process of finding a job. And I’m dealing with a yeast infection. Before I moved out of state, my previous doctor told me about Miconazole. She said it was as effective as the pill and hallelujah, it’s over the counter! I decided to purchase the cream pictured above. This treatment only lasted 3 days, a convenient time frame for my schedule.
The application process was a little messy, and some of the cream came in contact with my vulva and labia. Within 5 minutes every piece of skin that had come in contact with the cream, excluding my hands, was on fire. I wanted to scream it was so painful. I began frantically searching for what I should do online.
I found a whole forum of people on drugs.com who had experienced something similar. These comments saved me, and these were just on the first page. There were 33 pages total, the earliest dated July 2009.
I was writhing in pain at 2AM when I found this forum (which I found by searching “my vagina burn itch hurts after miconazole” on Google). As soon as I read these comments I threw the devil cream directly into the trash and jumped in the shower. I didn’t feel any actual relief until I reached in and scraped the cream out of me. I paid $17 plus tax on this bullshit, but I could have just as easily ripped up my money or paid someone to not hurt me.
The moral of the story is that vaginal health care is is completely fucked up because we don’t have access to an over the counter cure for yeast infections that is safe for our bodies and also YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY THIS CREAM EVER.
Reblog to save a vagina.
Okay so I used to get yeast infections every month after my period ‘cause my pH levels were fucked up or something (idk that’s what my doctor said) and I actually used to take this stuff and it was fine. Then a couple years down the road I had a yeast infection for the first time in ages and I used this again and it burned so bad I had to sit in the bath and like physically dig it out of my vagina
AND THEN I LEARNED THAT IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE A YEAST INFECTION. I had a bacterial infection, which is honestly pretty much identical to a yeast infection depending on the severity. The only difference is that IF YOU HAVE A BACTERIAL INFECTION AND TRY TO USE YEAST INFECTION MEDICATION IT WILL HURT
But it’s not actually the medication’s fault. The medication DOES do what it’s supposed to do, provided you’re actuallysuffering from a yeast infection. Chances are though that you and every one who commented on this did, in fact, have bacterial infections instead.
FORTUNATELY they also make over the counter tests so you can know if you need to call your doctor or just grab some yeast medicine off the shelf. Next time if you aren’t sure, pee on a stick and save yourself a world of fucking pain
AMEN.
It’s unfortunate that I’m 27 and never knew that last bit of information. The world of vaginal health is so obscure and inaccessible.
Same. I know I have BV, and I’ve bought litmus paper from American Science & Surplus, but it’s nice to know there’s something I can get at the drugstore.
I was so worried when i read the original post! Here’s more info.
1) Yeast infection creams DO WORK! Especially if you have a bad one. For a yeastie that’s mild or just coming on, you can also try a garlic clove in the vag, changing every 12 hours. It works as an anti-fungal. Be sure to cut down on sugar in your diet if you’re getting yeast infections. Sugar is what candida eats, it’s like adding gasoline to the fire.
2) But before any of those things, be sure it’s actually a yeast infection first. Reading those reviews breaks my heart! Putting creams in there with a bacterial infection will definitely irritate it. Yeast infections can look a lot like BV, trichomoniasis, or chlamydia:
You can figure out what’s up with a home kit. Yes, it’s another 15 bucks or so (for 2), but if you’re skipping the doctor it is necessary! If you actually have a bacterial infection and leave it untreated, it will not only hurt but make you more susceptible to STIs, scarring, and even infertility. FYI, these kits also exist for UTIs which can also easily be mistaken for other types of infection.
Um, this might be a bit of an odd question, but here I go. I’ve got uterine didelphys, and because I have two vaginas in the space where only one’s supposed to be, it’s sometimes uncomfortable to use super tampons, since they’re bigger than regular. I’m also a virgin. My doctor said that this shouldn’t affect my future sex life, but I’m just not sure. Is there anything that I can do myself to make sure that my condition doesn’t make my first sex experience with a guy completely excruciating?
Just for starters, we’re not doctors, so that ought to be kept in mind. Anything we say does not substitute a professional’s advice.
I don’t know your age, but regardless, a good relationship with your doctor/gynecologist is crucial. I hope you find that video somewhat reassuring, as it addresses some of the issues you raised.
Now, sex as an excruciating experience is completely circumstantial.
This video covers a bit of what some women’s sex lives are like. This girl mentions she only has one clitoris, and one g-spot.
Uterus Didelphys Help is a good reference site. Reading about other people’s experiences and being able to exchange concerns
There will often be a more dominant side than the other
I know that my right side is dominant. The left can be used but it has to be on purpose. The left is tighter and just feels different.
The only issue I have with sex is if the wall gets hit, similarly to how your partner has said it feels like he hits a wall. But whereas before I was frightened of it hurting, I have actually since learned that it’s more just uncomfortable, but doesn’t particularly hurt… more like poking the bit between your finger and thumb
I’ve never felt uncomfortable during sex but I am aware of what side is being used also.
I think the worst thing that has ever happened and more than one time is during sex if he pulls out to far going back in it hits the skin in the middle. That is the worst!
i have 2 uterus’, 2 cervices & two vaginas and i cant have sex in either side as the entrances are too small
Sex has always been painful for me and like the other woman said it’s because of the septum that separates my vaginas. Sometimes my husband hits it and all sexual activities have to stop because it feels like something has tore.
If something feels uncomfortable, painful or off, you let him know. Likewise, if something feels good, encourage them! Experiment with it. That’s what your first time is all about!
Insensitivity is/can be/ might probably be an issue. Bottom line? Not worth it, Anyone who shames you, makes you feel uncomfortable in any way about you and/or your body is not worth your time.
How it is used: Placed over penis to capture semen.
How often used: For a single use at the time of intercourse.
Pros: Widely available for free. Available in many sizes, colours, and flavours. Protect against STD/STIs. No medical side effects.
Cons: Can tear if not handled with care. Most commonly found in latex. Man has to pull out his penis right after ejaculation.
How effective: 98%
2. Female condoms:
How it is used: Placed inside the vagina to catch the semen.
How often used: For a single use at the time of intercourse.
Pros: Protect against STD/STIs. No medical side effects.
Cons: Not widely available. Can make noise. Can tear if not handled with care.
How effective: 95%
3. Combined pill:
How it is used: Take daily intakes of progesterone ands oestrogen to prevent the release of an egg.
How often used: Taken daily at the same time each day.
Pros: Can reduce acne. Can lighten and regulate menstruation. Can reduce risk of ovarian cancer.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Can have medical side effects. Can increase blood pressure. Linked to breast cancer and blood clots.
How effective: 99%
4. Progesterone only pill:
How it is used: Take a daily pill that releases progesterone to thickens mucus in cervix, and stops sperm from reaching the egg.
How often used: Taken daily at the same time each day.
Pros: Can be used for women who can’t use contraception that contains oestrogen. Can use it while breastfeeding. Can be used at any age. Smokers can use this. Can reduce symptoms of PMS.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Have to take a pill everyday at the same time. Some medicines may affect effectiveness. Can have side affects.
How effective: 99%
5. Cap:
How it is used: Covers the cervix and worn for 6 hours after intercourse to keep sperm from entering. Must be used with spermacide.
How often used: Used at the time of intercourse.
Pros: No side affects. Reusable.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Takes time to learn how to insert. Linked with bladder infections.
How effective: 99%
6. Implant:
How it is used: Inserted under the skin of the upper arm. Releases progesterone to stops eggs from being released.
How often used: Lasts for 3 year.
Pros: Can be removed. Safe to use while breast feeding. An option for people who can’t use oestrogen.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Periods may be irregular or stop for the first year. Numerous side affects. Needs to be put in by a professional.
How effective: 99%
7. Diaphragm
How it is used: Placed inside of vagina. Must be used with spermicide
How often used: Use at the time of intercourse.
Pros: No serious health risks. Only have to think about it when you are about to have sex.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Learning how to use it properly takes time. May develop a bladder infection.
How effective: 92-96%
8. Patch:
How it is used: Releases progesterone and oestrogen to prevent release of the egg.
How often used: Change the patch every week for 3 weeks and then 1 week without the patch.
Pros: Can be worn in water or playing sports. Reduces heavy and painful periods.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Increases blood pressure. Can develop blood clot. Not suitable for smokers. People over 35 or people who weigh more that 90kg. Visible. Mild side affects.
How effective: 99%
9. Injection:
How it is used: Injects progesterone to stop eggs from being released.
How often used: Lasts for 8 to 12 weeks depending on the type.
Pros: An option for people who can’t use oestrogen. Not affected by medication. Safe to use while breastfeeding. May reduce heavy and painful periods.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Numerous side affects. Cannot be removed. Periods may become irregular or stop. Can take up to one year to gain fertility back. Possible allergic reaction.
How effective: 99%
10. Natural Family Planning:
How it is used: Keep a daily record of your fertility signals, such as your temperature and fluids coming out of your cervix. It takes three to six menstrual cycles to learn the method. Should be accompanied with condom.
How often used: Needs to be checked daily.
Pros: No physical side effects. Learns more about your own body.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Must follow the instructions. Does not allow for mistakes. Fertility signs can be affected by factors such as illness, stress or travel. If you want to have sex during time when you might get pregnant, must use another method.
How effective: 75-99%
11. Intrauterine System:
How it is used: Releases progesterone into the womb. Makes it difficult for sperm to move through and reach an egg.
How often used: 3-5 years
Pros: It can be taken out at anytime. You don’t have to think about contraception everyday. It can be used by women who can’t have combined contraception. Can reduce menstruation pain.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Risk of mood swings, skin problems or breast tenderness. Small risk of getting infection. Uncomfortable to be put in. Hormonal problems can occur.
How effective: 99%
12. Intrauterine Device:
How it is used: Stops sperm and egg from surviving in the womb
How often used: 5-10 years
Pros: It can be removed at anytime. You don’t have to think about contraception everyday.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Changes to your periods (can make them heavier or more painful). Your body may expel IUD. Small chance of infection. Can be uncomfortable to get put in.
How effective: 75-99%
13. Vaginal Ring:
How it is used: Ring releases oesterogen and progesterone, which prevents ovulation, and makes it difficult for sperm to get to egg.
How often used: Provide contraception for a month.
Pros: Does not interrupt sex. Don’t have to think about contraceptive everyday.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Don’t have to think about it everyday. Temporary side effects, such as discharge, breast tenderness and headaches. Possible blood clotting. Sometimes the ring can come out on its own.
How effective: 99%
14. Female steralization:
How it is used: A surgery to block or seal the fallopian tubes.
How often used: Permanent procedure.
Pros: Won’t affect your hormones. Will not affect you sex drive. Rarely any long term problems.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Must continue to use contraceptives for 3 months after the surgery. Chance of the blocked tubes to rejoin.
How effective: 99%
15. Vasectomy:
How it is used: A surgery to cut off, block, or seal the tubes that carry sperm from a male’s testicles.
How often used: Permanent procedure.
Pros: The failure rate is only 0.05%. Rarely long term effects. Does not affect hormones or sex drive.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Must continue to use contraceptives for 8 weeks after the surgery. Complications can occur.
Sex fact: Some vaginal discharge is normal and some is not. Learn your body so you can learn the difference. Normal discharge is for cleaning and moisturizing the vagina. If you detect a change in odour, colour, or texture, it might be best to get it checked out. Especially if it accompanied with itchiness, redness, burning or swelling. (Source)
Sex Fact: As breasts begin to develop, they may develop at different rates. It is common for them to even out by the age of 20, but it is not always the case. It is normal to have two different sized breasts or nipples. (Source)
Sex Fact: Having sex for the first time doesn’t have to be painful. The only two reasons that having sex for the first time will hurt is: 1. if a female is not properly aroused so they are not self lubricated; or 2. nerves can cause the vagina to tense up making it harder for penetration. (Source)
Sex facts: STDs don’t always come with symptoms. Just because you don’t see or feel anything doesn’t mean you don’t have an STD. So make sure you and your partner get tested! (Source)
A heartfelt thank you to the generous purchases from anyone who ordered from my online store over my 3 day donation period to Planned Parenthood, I have just made a $260 donation to Planned Parenthood of the Heartland. In light of full transparency I would like to mention that the gross income over the 3 day period was $372 (Thank you!!!). Generally, my material costs make up 1/3 or more of my retail price, so to refund myself for materials I multiplied the gross income by 0.7 to calculate proceeds. I also chose to donate to this particular Planned Parenthood located in Omaha Nebraska, instead of Planned Parenthood in general, because A. I have worked with them before and they are lovely, well organized, and I believe our money will be used well and efficiently by that administration and B. it is my belief that our money can do more good in the heartland than distributed over the country nationally. Thank you again a million times over for making this possible. It is a small thing but it is a good thing, and that’s how we build our way back up.
A new trial by UC San Diego Health infectious disease specialist Maile Young Karris, MD, will use longitudinal questionnaires and qualitative interviews to assess the impact of living in an interconnected virtual village on the loneliness known to afflict older people with HIV.
“It’s about changing the culture back to how it used to be,” Karris said, “where neighbors actually knew each other and helped each other and you didn’t have to worry so much about your poor dad who lives by himself, far away from you, because you knew that his neighbors would call you if anything happened or would make sure that he was eating.”
