When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.
In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.
And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.
And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.
And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.
And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.
And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.
And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.
And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.
I have a long history of sexual abuse from my father, uncles, grandfather, brothers, cousins, my teachers, my gym coach, roommates, employers, doctors, and professor. If that doesn’t tell you can’t trust men, you need a reality check.
I don’t know if this is exactly Incels but dudes basically trying to compare abortion to rape and calling women who abort rapists…
Now I, and many MANY other women are sadly victims of rape.. so this triggered me to the point of crying and vomiting so I’m sorry if this triggered anyone… I’m still crying and shaking I fucking can’t.. this was in a LOCAL Facebook group and this guy is just a town away!
I don’t care if you’re pro life or pro choice (I personally am pro choice..) but don’t you dare compare RAPE to abortion!
Get support for yourself no matter how. Find someone somewhere who can understand what you are going through, who can be trusted with confidences, and who can help you hold on to your sense of reality. Reach out.
Keep a journal to document your experience, so that when your partner is making you crazy with mind games or with sudden “good” behavior, you can look back through your writings and remember who you really are and what they really do.
Stay away from people who aren’t good for you, who don’t understand, who say things that push you down into self-blame.
Do anything you can think of that’s good for you, that nurtures your soul. Even people who have extraordinarily controlling partners often can find some ruse that will free them long enough to work out, take a class, go for a walk, or just get some time alone to think.
Keep your abusive partner out of your head as much as you can. Use this book to help you understand what they are doing; naming and understanding is power. If you can understand how they think, you can avoid absorbing their thinking yourself and prevent them from crawling inside your head.
Don’t blame yourself when you don’t reach your goals right away, when, for instance, you break down and get back together with them. Just pull yourself together and try again. You will succeed eventually, perhaps even on your very next attempt.
In case you didn’t know, our justice system is completely fucked up. From the cops to the DA to the judges. The law does not represent morality. That’s a lie told to us to keep you in check and shame for being immoral when you question authority. Never let anyone make you feel stupid or immoral for questioning the law.
Richland County Sheriff’s Department (SC) said it just wasn’t worth it because no one would believe I was raped. I went up to his apartment with the possibility of having sex with him, you see. It didn’t matter that he drugged my drink and raped me. Why did I care anyway, since I was willing to have sex with him?
It’s been almost 8 years and the anal fissures still periodically re-tear. I have to sit at the bar to watch my drinks being made. My HUSBAND is not allowed to hand me drinks, unless I watched him make them.
TRIGER WARNINGS: TERFS, depression physical abuse, sexual abuse, suicide, death, sexual harrassment, sexual harrassment from a family member, abusive relationship, abusive boyfriend, toxic relationship, unaccepting family, rape, toxic family, family
as everyone knows i have quit tumblr. i originally joined when I was closeted as an escape from my family who are not open minded. i had posted my early transition progress frequently including when I found out that I’m intersex. when i started this blog i had short blonde hair and walked around naked constantly because all of my male clothes made me super dysphoric. a year after i joined engaged to a guy named Luke who i never ever showed pics of or even introduced to any of my irl friends, mainly because he was physically and sexually abusive and i didn’t want pics of someone who i was terrified of on my blog. i used to make a bunch of awful jokes and even made a joke blog about not wiping my ass under the name of Mark Skidz as a coping mechanism with all the bullshit in my life. then my house caught on fire and shortly after i started getting sexually harrased by a distant relative on facebook then after that tumblr started to become toxic to me when i got cyberbullied by over 500 TERFs, i also got sexually harrased on tumblr in my anons (many of which i was stupid enough to answer instead of just deleting them). then i found out Luke was cheating on me constantly and that was basically the final straw for me which caused me to post a bunch of suicidal posts on here and basically caused my life to go completely downhill since, i did have a girlfriend for a brief period she was cute and supportive but it just didn’t work out because we had too many problems of our own. after that break up i decided to take a break from social media. but shortly after i quit without warning because i couldn’t post on here anymore because it was too painful for me. long story short this post is my final goodbye. thank you to everyone who supported me over the years until we meet again
Flower Essence Description Bisbee Beehive helps take us to the core of an issue and feel grace and healing energy at a cellular level. It is very often indicated for recovery of sexual or physical abuse.
Harmonizing Qualities
excellent for accessing cellular memories, especially repressed memories of sexual abuse
facilitates the ability to go to the deepest root or core of an issue or cause, getting to the bottom line of a situation
feeling grace or healing energy at a cellular level
this essence comes up time and again for those on the journey of healing sexual abuse issues
Patterns of Imbalance
being at the surface or just under the surface of an issue or situation
not able to see the underlying issue or root of a situation
unable to access cellular memories
Keywords bottom line, cellular memory, core, depression, grace, held in, intensity, life force, memories, pain, release, repression, root, sensuality, sexual abuse, sexuality, source, subconscious, superficial, transformation
My fucking god! Maybe if I wasn’t taught that I didn’t have rights over who touched my body then maybe it wouldn’t have been so easy for me to be molested in the first place!!!! So fucking over this shit!
I wish I could say it’s good news but it isn’t… So life update: I just got out of a domestic violence relationship where I was not only strangled on multiple occasions but also raped again… and again… multiple times by him, I’ve also got repressed memories from my childhood coming back to me so that isn’t good.
However good news is the police seem to be taking this news more seriously then they did the prior case when I was 15 but we’ll see..
I feel like I failed at life. Oh may I add he’s on the run on 16 charges and I don’t feel safe at all.
I’m the one who asked for the fear of women due to PTSD post. I can’t really message or @ with my main because I’m afraid of the hate I’ll receive for admitting to this.
I have C-PTSD and DID from years of abuse and it’s really hard for me to see everyone saying that fearing women, even from PTSD, is always a terrible misogynistic thing because I’m not choosing to shake in my seat if a woman sits next to me or fear an assault if one stands behind me in a queue. I don’t say anything to them about it, I just kind of keep quiet because I’m scared.
The thing is, I was abused since I was born by my older sister who dropped a laptop on my head when I was 3 months old, physically abused me for years, and took naked and sexual photos of me when I was 9, as well as forcing me to do things with her and having her friend photograph it but with only me in the picture. And after I thought she got out of my life, she was stalking me.
But it wasn’t just her either: I was constantly sexually harassed by the girls at my school when I was 14, a teacher kissed me in front of the whole school in an assembly and nobody thought it was a big deal, my grandmother thought it was acceptable to keep placing her hand on my thigh while I was telling her to stop and my mother told me I was in the wrong for expecting her not to.
I’m sorry about the userbox I asked for and you can take it down if you want to. I didn’t think it through and didn’t think about my position of privilege.
You don’t have to worry, people take things the wrong way and it doesn’t make them right just because they are angry. I made this post for you, for me, and for everyone else who has been abused by women and fears them for it.
You do not choose abuse and you do not choose your fears. I won’t be deleting this post because people need to know that it goes the other way too. People need to know they are not alone.
“In the lives of many women, particularly those, like Lutgard, who had experienced physical (especially sexual) brutality, the touch of Christ’s body came as a healing experience to replace all other touching, which was abhorrent.”
I don’t think I ever shared this part of my story for many reasons. But it goes back to early 2016… that’s when it started. I remember hiding every day… in the library, in labs… just anywhere I could but eventually I had to go back to my room.
And so for 4 months I was quiet. My grades were great (it was my only distraction), but inside I was lost. And… then I said something to someone and everything went from bad to worse. I had to leave.
This whole time, I had been numb. My parents knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure it out (and how could I tell them? I am supposed to be a man…). So I left the school. I was far from recovery…
Until January, every night I had to sleep with the lights on. I was afraid, triggered by darkness. It wasn’t until Sept of the next year when I stopped having nightmares. Even now it’s hard to think about.
I wish I would’ve held my ground and whistle blew. Maybe I could’ve prevented other victims, but I wasn’t ready…
genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the “groomer” argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn’t.
sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.
Children are also capable of sexually abusing each other. It’s so important that boundaries and consent are taught early.
After my last post about leaving the abuse, I received a few messages asking how to handle the complicated feelings that arise during this period, the part of us that misses the person who abused us, the yearning for their validation, and the pain of seeing them move on so quickly with someone new.
My first suggestion would be to scroll down and read my post on #TraumaBonding which may provide insight into the intense feelings of attachment to an abuser.
Maybe the reason we seek validation from the ones who have hurt us is to soften the blow; we may search desperately for some sign of love or concern from them because it can add so greatly to our pain to realize that someone whom we loved, who wounded us so deeply, never really cared about us at all. Or perhaps we seek some semblance of love from them to feel less embarrassed about having trusted someone who hurt us so much. The lack of understanding and validation from them and from others can make the healing process so much more challenging.
I’ve come to view this time as an opportunity to reclaim our sense of power and autonomy―two things that abuse can diminish. It is time to take the focus and energy off of the abusers and place it lovingly onto ourselves. We can prove to ourselves that we are innately deserving of understanding, kindness and compassion by showing it to ourselves. We can allow ourselves the space to feel how we are feeling. We can give ourselves the validation we are seeking, acknowledging and honouring both our pain and our strength. I do my best to practice gratitude in these times, giving thanks that what has hurt me has been removed from my path in order to make way for what is better for me.
One of the most important things to remember is that healing is a process and a practice, and being patient with ourselves during our worst times can go a long way.
Affirmation: I accept my path. I release what hurts me. I choose what heals me.
IWILLESV is looking for new blog contributors! We are looking for someone who is interested in creating posts (writings, pictures, etc.) for our blog who has a time commitment of about 1-2 hours a week, experience in the field, and a passion for spreading awareness for sexual assault! How? Simply send a resume to [email protected] about your experience and why YOU want to end sexual violence. For any comments, questions, or concerns, feel free to email [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and we are inviting you to #TakethePledge to end sexual violence on your college campus or in your communities. Share a photo of yourself with a poster or caption saying “I Will End Sexual Violence” to take the pledge yourself!
To learn more about the harms of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, please visit our page on this topic and The National Center on Sexual Exploitation’s page on it:
Many thanks and well done to Stop Porn Culture, the London Abused Women’s Centre and the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (formerly Pornography Harms) for their important efforts in creating, running or sponsoring this vital effort! Please like and support their Facebook pages, Twitter accounts and their other social media accounts and efforts as well!
~ Special thanks to the National Center on Sexual Exploitation for creating the graphics in this post and many other great ones like it for this campaign. You can find ALL the helpful graphics at the 50 Dollars not 50 Shades Facebook page, or at the page below by NCSE. We encourage you to share all of them!
Here’s a powerful testimonial from a young woman who was just one of many teen victims of pornographic extortion — by a very sick man who ruined many girls’ lives.
Chansler told detectives he targeted children because adult women were “too smart” to fall for his scheme. Investigators found thousands of videos and photos on his computers, including recordings of girls crying and pleading with him to stop and one girl holding a handwritten sign with a single word: “rape.” […]
For victims, she said, “it’s psychologically damaging. It’s not fair. People think victims of child pornography are not touched. It’s not like rape. It’s just overlooked. … They don’t realize what we’re doing when we have to send those pictures. We’re doing it ourselves. We’re forced to. … We could not say no.”
Reynolds said the people who look at the pictures “are dads and brothers and sons.” She wants to tell them, “This could be your sister.”
They are creating the demand, the marketplace that is being catered to by the child pornography producers and extortionists.
“You’re contributing to it. You can’t be a law-abiding citizen if you’re contributing to extortion,” Reynolds said. “People send out those pictures and make them public because of people who view them.”
It’s by our new anti-BDSM ally and collaboration partner RepublicofSandals, who does a great job explaining how sadomasochism exemplifies the contradictions, double-think and insanity found in “1984.”
To sum it up, BDSM is SEXUAL ABUSE and a form of OPPRESSION. It is NOT any form of love, freedom, liberation, play, or healthy sexuality.
Please watch it and share your thoughts! Let us know if you agree. Thanks! :-)
B = Bondage D = Domination, Dominance, Discipline S = Sadism, Sadist, Submission, Submissive, Slave M = Masochism, Master
OTHER DEFINITIONS (From Random House Dictionary)
SADISM
1. Sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others. (Psychiatry)
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty.
MASOCHISM
1. The condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, & humiliation (Psychiatry)
2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one’s own actions or the actions of others, especially the tendency to seek this form of gratification
3. the act of turning one’s destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself
4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc
SADOMASOCHISM
1. interaction, especially sexual activity, in which one person enjoys inflicting physical or mental suffering on another person, who derives pleasure from experiencing pain
2. gratification, especially sexual, gained through inflicting or receiving pain; sadism & masochism combined
It’s encouraging that the links between pornography and domestic violence are getting some much deserved exposure, with some helpful solutions being proposed!
[SMH.com] — The Men’s Referral Service manager Nathan DeGuara said there was a strong correlation between pornography and domestic violence.
“Pornography sets up the expectations of what a man should expect from a woman. Pornography is typically about men doing whatever is it is they want to do to women.”
He said the service, which offered confidential telephone counselling for men with violent urges, often received calls about domestic violence stemming form unrealistic sexual expectations.
And these were often created by pornography.
READ THE REST OF THIS EXCELLENT ARTICLE AT THE LINK BELOW: (And please don’t forget to like, comment and share to spread the word and support the cause. Thanks!)
I wanted to touch on something that has been haunting me lately. At 13 I was sexually assaulted by my best friend at the time. I told my closest friends when I was ready, in fear that this could happen to them. As I look back at it, 9 years later, I feel disgusted. All of those friends, except for 2 of them, I told 8 of them, erased them from their lives and stood by my side proudly. Everyone else continued to be his friend and try and be mine at the same time. During that time it hurt me alot because I felt like they either didn’t believe me or didn’t think that what he did was that big of a deal. I felt incredibly alone, I didn’t report it in fear of being harrassed as I lived in a very small town, and also because his family had alot of money and I did not, not to mention he had also threatened me. And these girls, some of whom I had known since elementary school, had done something completely unforgettable, and left me feeling even more ashamed of myself. I’m writing this because sometimes you dont realize the things you may be doing, but if you friend confines in you about assault or abuse, you be there for them, Male or female. Be the support system they need to help them feel safe, and to report what has happened to them. They already feel vulnerable enough, be their safe place.
On July 18th, 2018, a twenty year old Psychology student named Mollie Cecilia Tibbetts went missing while out on a jog in Iowa. The girl was dog-sitting at her boyfriends house while he was away for work. She sent him a Snapchat, went out to run and was never heard from again. Police believed she had been abducted, and after hours of trawling through CCTV from the area noticed a suspicious vehicle driving along Mollies usual jogging route… (READ POST)
Woman goes missing on belated honeymoon sailing trip
Isabella Hellmann and her husband Lewis Bennett had been married for three months when they finally decided to take a belated honeymoon. They planned to sail through Puerto Rico and Cuba when on the last leg of the journey Julia went missing. Her husband claimed she had fell overboard and noticed that the boat was taking on water rapidly. But what really happened that night? (READ POST)
Child dies and woman found starving on the floor of home of a man with cult connections
In November 2014, a 44 year old man form Georgia walked into a local hospital cradling the lifeless body of his 1 year old daughter. “She isn’t breathing” he told hospital staff. Noticing the deceased child was severely malnourished, the police were contacted and searched the mans apartment to find a starving woman in one of the rooms as well as literature belonging to a strange cult with an Egyptian aesthetic that followed a religion of Kemetism, UFO religion and ancient mysticism (READ POST)
Beverly England cold case close to being solved?
32 year old Beverly England went missing on June 12th, 1980. Rumors had been making their way around town that Beverly had been having an affair with another woman’s husband, so she decided to meet with the woman that day at a local picnic area. Beverly was never seen again. Mitzy Abeyta, who was pregnant at the time, told police the two of them got into an altercation and Beverly attempted to attack her with a broken bottle but is Abeyta as innocent as she still claims to be? (READ POST)
Missing Maine woman Kristin Westra
Kristin Westra had suffered several sleepless nights before she went missing. She had been feeling stressed out and arranged an emergency appointment regarding anxiety and her mental health. That night, she and her husband lay in bed reading before going to sleep for work, but Kristin could not stop tossing and turning. The following morning when her husband woke up she was nowhere to be found. Several days later two children playing in a field stumbled upon a body. (READ POST)
Eighty male students at Notre Dame University wrote an open letter in the school newspaper asking for a porn filter on the school’s Wi-Fi.
“This filter would send the unequivocal message that pornography is an affront to human rights and catastrophic to individuals and relationships. We are calling for this action in order to stand up for the dignity of all people, especially women,” the letter read. “The overwhelming majority of contemporary pornography is literally filmed violence against women — violence somehow rendered invisible by the context.”
“Pornography is prostitution through the lens of a camera, but more abusive. It exploits the men and women involved, advances a twisted narrative about human sexuality and harms those who consume it.”
“From the beginning, Cyntoia Brown’s life story has been heartbreaking. She was put up for adoption at the age of 2, and her life after that was a traumatic spiral of verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and substance abuse.
At the age of 16, she was sold as a sex-slave to a 43-year-old Nashville realtor—Johnny Mitchell Allan. She was subjected to more abuse by Allan, and in a documentary about her life, she described the abuse and how it made her paranoid.
In 2004, she was tried as an adult for killing Allen. She said she shot him because she feared he was going to kill her. During the trial, she said there was always a gun pointed on her during her captivity. She said she was hit, choked and dragged. She feared for her own life, and she acted out of that fear.
It didn’t matter. A jury convicted the then-16-year-old to life in prison. Under the then-Tennessee law, she would only be eligible for release after serving 51 years of her sentence.
The law in Tennessee has since changed. Now anyone 18 or younger cannot even be charged with prostitution, and that change in law came about because of Brown’s case. Still, it has done little to help Brown.”
Fifa on Monday suspended the president of Haiti’s football federation for 90 days pending an investigation into allegations he sexually abused teenage girls at the national training center.
Yves Jean-Bart, 73, known as “Dadou”, the president of the Fédération Haïtienne De Football(FHF) since 2000, categorically denies accusations that he coerced several players at…
