genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the “groomer” argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn’t.
sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.
this rly tells you all you need to know about the people who are mad about this post. when faced with the fact that i am a victim of grooming they panic block. fucking pathetic
Condoms are only 98% effective when used correctly.
Sugar can cause infections in the vagina. This means things like chocolate sauce, honey, and lubricants with glycerin can be harmful.
Having sex with an intoxicated person is legally rape in most US states, even if the person verbally consents. In the eyes of the law, drugs and alcohol impair your ability to consent to sex.
Unprotected anal sex is the most dangerous sex act when it comes to spreading STIs.
Not everyone can climax from oral sex or even likesoral sex. Don’t assume—ask your partner what they want!
Condomsexpire! Check the date on the wrapper. Also, storing them in wallets is not a good idea (see #8)
If someone with a vagina has unprotected anal sex, semen can drip down into the vagina and pose a (slight, but still real) risk for pregnancy.
Do not keep condoms in your wallet. The friction and heat exposure of keeping them there can make them ineffective. Keep them somewhere cool, dry, and out of sunlight.
You should be tested for STIs with each new partner you have. Annual appointments are not enough protection if you have multiple partners in that time.
Having anal sex does not lead to a gaping asshole unless your partner is literally an elephant.
Sex with elephants is illegal. Don’t do that.
Masturbating while wearing a condom can help people with penises get used to wearing them before sex.
Penis size does not define your worth. It is not the be-all, end-all factor for most people.
In fact, lots of people with large penises have trouble having sex without hurting their partner since the average vagina size is 6”-8” when aroused (it’s only 3”-4” when not aroused!).
Your first time will almost definitely not be your best time. That’s okay, I promise.
Herpes and pubic lice can still infect you if a condom is used if testicles come in contact with a vuvla.
Only one out of three people can orgasm from receiving vaginal penetration alone. You’re not broken.
People with penises can orgasm without ejaculating.
The muscles in a vagina can be abnormally tense and cause intense pain when penetrated with a toy, penis, or tampon. This is called vaginismus and treatment for this includes relaxation therapy and using medical rods to help the muscles relax.
The number of sexual partners you have does not define you. This rule applies to all genders.
A diet of lots of dairy and meat can cause ejaculate to taste bad. Fruits that are very sweet (like pineapple) help combat this for some people. However, due to body chemistry, medications, and other factors, it might not always do the trick.
Dental dams make oral sex with someone with a vulva safer. They are thin sheets of latex and can be home-made by cutting the ends off a condom and slitting it lengthwise to make a alternative option if you don’t have access to dental dams.
The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in it. That’s twice that of a penis! So, go gently until encouraged to do otherwise.
Sex does not have to stop when someone ejaculates. Remove any condoms or clean up any mess, and keep going until everyone is satisfied!
Communication is the number one factor to a better, healthier sex life.
The hymen is not a bone, and does not break. It is a membrane layer that stretches. It can tear, which can lead to pain and bleeding. However, sex for the first time (or ever!) should never hurt. Go slower and focus on foreplay to increase natural lubrication.
Sexuality is fluid for a lot of people. Don’t worry about labels until you’re sure in your sexual and romantic interests. Explore freely and worry about terms later.
Orgasms release hormones that are natural pain-killers. This is why some menstruating people masturbate when they have cramps, because the body naturally reduces pain after an orgasm.
The hormones released also account for why some people cry or get very emotional after an intense orgasm. It’s totally normal.
There are limitless kinks in the world and so long as they are safe and consensual, there is nothing wrong with them.
Medications and mental health disorders can mess with your sex drive. Talk to your doctor if your sex drive has suddenly increased or decreased after starting a medication—there may be alternatives.
There is nothing “un-manly” or “gay” about enjoying anal play. Most men who try anal enjoy a little sensation in that area. People with penises also have a p-spot (prostate) and can have intense orgasms through anal penetration.
Always use lubrication generously to avoid vaginal or anal tearing.
Urinating after sex can reduce the risk of a UTI in people with vaginas.
Enjoying casual sex does not make you a bad person if you are up-front with your intentions and don’t maliciously seek to hurt others.
Condoms come in multiple sizes! It should never be loose or painfully tight.
Being sex-positive does not mean that everyone needs to enjoy sex. It simply promotes the happiness and sexual exploration (or non-exploration) of others.
Porn is notan educational guide to sex.
Certain positions feel better than others. Switch it up and find out what works for you and your partner(s).
Condoms are more likely to break if you don’t leave a reservoir tip for ejaculate.
Labia are often asymmetrical. Your long/uneven/poofy/dark labia are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body.
Up to 80% of people with a vagina can squirt with either g-spot or clitoral stimulation.
Drug store pregnancy tests are just as effective as brand name ones. In some cases, they’re even MORE effective.
Elevating your butt with pillows can make missionary sex easier for those of us with a big tummy or thick thighs.
Plan B does not work on people over a certain weight (160-175lbs).
There are safe alternatives to condoms or oral contraceptives. Talk to your doctor about your options.
Sex toys can open up a whole new world to folks willing to explore.
Orgasms can be highly psychological. Most people can’t climax when they’re upset or distracted.
Birth control can cause people to miss periods or spot in between periods.
Sex doesn’t have to be gentle if you don’t want it to be. There are healthy ways to explore rough sex or BDSM.
One for those who might find additional information interesting or even helpful.
An earlier poster of this added that there are “more articles in the Library For Kinksters.”
Another enthusiastic reblogger said: “I love this list, considering I went to Catholic school and sex education was 2 classes and they mainly talked to girls about getting their periods. Awesome, right? Thank God the internet came along so I could learn about things. Also thank you for writing this in such an open and neutral way and even including us big girls (#44)”. (“44. Elevating your butt with pillows can make missionary sex easier for those of us with a big tummy or thick thighs.”, perhaps this should also include “45. Plan B does not work on people over a certain weight [160-175lbs].”?
Yes, Sex Education in schools is often seriously inadequate for a number of reasons including incompetence and teacher embarrassment, but more sinister to my mind, because of cultural or religious prejudices.
This post has more than an incredible 380 thousand notes!
pussymodsgalore PMG information info Sex Ed Sex Education Library For Kinksters
Many std/stis are easily treatable and some are asymptomatic, so have your health check often.
Please keep your safety in mind always <3
Why is it not public knowledge that you can get herpes from kissing?? What the fuck
It’s less-than-common knowledge that you can get herpes from kissing because knowing how transmittable and outright common it is would break down the stigma that surrounds it. Or, put another way, the stigma that surrounds herpes is such that people don’t want to discuss it as commonplace, prefering to deny that functionally, the majority of adults have some variety ofHSV1orHSV2, and that on the balance it’s really not that terrible a disease. In fact, it’s difficult to estimate how much of the population is infected because a lot of cases are completely asymptomatic.
Use common sense, stay away from lesions on the lips, genitals, and anus (that means cold sores!) and use barrier protection (when touching genitals or anuses with any other body part) with partners if you don’t know their status and aren’t in a place where all partners are ready discuss fluid bonding.
But if you do end up contracting herpes it is not death, and it is not going to doom you to a sexless life. What’s going to happen to you is that sometimes - likely around stress like colds - you will get blisters somewhere tender and you’ll be a little extra tired for maybe a week. Make sure to talk to a doctor about how this may affect you and what you can do about it, and advise sexual partners so everyone’s nice and informed. And take a deep breath.
Sexetc.org is a website where you can input your state ( In the U.S) and it will show you all the laws regarding consent laws (if any), abortion laws, lgbt community rights, sex education laws, etc. I highly recommend this site. It also recommends you to places that can help you pay for birth control, abortions, condoms, Etc.
Every young person (and adult, for that matter!) should have access to this site, run by Rutgers University.
The link doesn’t take you to the resource mentioned. Go to the search bar and search “Sex in the States”
one of my favorite things ever, even if looking at my state’s information makes me cry.
basically you guys need to stop acting so weird about having sex with men. fucking a man is not a political statement it’s not an act of emasculating a man if you peg him or fuck him with your dick. it’s literally just sex. consensual sex is just sex. like i know it’s an online insult to say you people aren’t having sex but genuinely you people either do not have sex or have a seriously unhealthy relationship with sex. i’m so tired of hearing these absolutely shit takes about sex with men. you guys are seriously tweaked.
This is literally how misogynistic men often see sex with women. They see being penetrated as inherently shameful/humiliation and submission, and they think less of women who allow men to “do that to them”. They use sex as an act of using someone, violence, domination. Also ties into homophobia. I get the rage and the resentment, and it can feel good to “give it back”. But let’s not do the same gross bs that men do to us.
Yes god please. This is such a good post. Also like…
This is so common in straight kink spaces where people assume “top”=dom and “bottom”=sub to the point that they’re used *interchangeably*.
There’s nothing inherently submissive about being penetrated and nothing inherently dominant about penetrating.
can I add that yes, actually young people now are not having sex. (or, having a lot less of it).
and from what I’ve seen it’s coincided with more conservative attitudes about sex
Your sexuality is a part of yourself, and as such, deserves as much care as the rest of you. This can look like…
* Deciding for yourself when, whether, and with whom to engage in sex. * Deciding that sex just isn’t for you, and that’s okay. * Getting regular OB/GYN or urologist checkups. (And being honest with your doctor!) * Getting tested for STIs regularly, especially in between partners. * Saying “no” to sexual acts that make you uncomfortable, or that you don’t feel ready for. * Exploring and learning what you like and don’t like. * Learning about sex, anatomy, birth control, etc. especially if the sex ed you had during your formative years was nonexistent or just straight-up garbage. * Ditching purity culture and all its empty promises. * Using reliable birth control unless and until you want a baby. * Deciding for yourself when and whether to have children, and how many to have. * Deciding for yourself what you will do if you have an unplanned pregnancy. * Being really honest with yourself about whether you personally can do casual hookups, or whether you absolutely need to have a relationship in order to have sex. * Communicating and setting boundaries with partners. * Making sure that if you choose to have sex, you’re doing so for the right reasons (i.e. not just to please your partner, or “fit in,” or what have you) * Making sure you get your share of the pleasure pie, too. * Listening to what your body is telling you. * Letting go of shame. * Ditching toxic diet culture and learning to love your body, or at least accept it. * Understanding that porn is a fantasy; it is nothing like real sex with a real human being. * Getting help for porn and sex addictions. * Letting go of internalized misogyny, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc. * Learning to both give and receive pleasure. * Learning to communicate what you need. * Taking responsibility for your own thoughts, words, actions, omissions, marital fidelity, feelings, etc., instead of dumping that on other people. * Dressing for yourself, in clothes that make you happy (within the scope of appropriateness for a given occasion), not to either attract or repel any sex or gender. * Deciding for yourself what labels define your sexuality or gender, or whether any labels fit at all. * Carrying condoms/dental dams/etc. with you on dates, even if you don’t end up needing them. * Making sure someone knows where you are when you go on dates or hook up with people. * Understanding that being rejected doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with you, and not taking that as a personal affront. * Learning what healthy relationships look like. * Getting help for and healing sexual trauma of any kind. * Deciding for yourself what you share (or don’t share) on the Internet about your sexuality, your past, etc. * Learning how consent actually works. * Showing concern for your partner’s well-being and pleasure, as well as your own. * Not using sex/porn/masturbation/etc. as a way of masking or avoiding your personal or relationship problems. * Not tying your sexual history (or lack thereof) to your worth as a human being, or as a partner. * Deciding that what other people think of you is their responsibility, not yours. * Getting out of toxic relationships. * Not sleeping with your ex. * Going no further or faster than you really want to go. * Deciding for yourself whether you’re into kink or not. (And that vanilla is valid!) * Peeing after sex. * Being honest with yourself and your partners. * Developing a positive body image. * Accepting that both you and any partners you have will have a past, good, bad, and ugly, and not judging or defining yourself or them by it. * Really getting to know someone before agreeing to move in with them, have a baby with them, marry them, etc.
“Don’t do any of this” - a bunch of things you totally should NOT do if adobe says what you’ve got is outdated and you should buy the newer worser version
Not appreciating the gendered language (not everyone with a vagina is a woman and not every woman has a vagina) but otherwise this is good information.
Agree with previous comment, this is super gendered, but makes good points. It drives me crazy how people always refer to vulvas as vaginas and have no idea what the difference is.
Along with the gendered language, not a fan of some of the gendered imagery, but still cool.
Happy Method Monday! In honor of back to school, we decided to go back in time to look at some vintage methods that are still in use (mostly) today. Since they share many characteristics, the cervical cap, the diaphragm, and the sponge will share the spotlight this week.
The best thing about these methods is that they’re totally hormone-free, which is important to some women for health reasons or because of personal preference. The not-so-great thing? These methods aren’t as effective as methods like the implant, the IUD, the shot, the pill, the patch, or the ring. The non-hormonal ParaGard IUD, which is made out of copper and plastic and lasts for up to 12 years (!), might be a better option if you don’t want hormones and are looking for super-effective birth control.
But back to the old-school barriers…
They’ve got a lot in common:
The diaphragm, the sponge, and the cervical cap work more or less the same way. You can get more detail about each method on Bedsider, but in a nutshell all three of these methods work with spermicide to block sperm from entering the uterus. For all three, you have to be comfortable with sticking your finger up there and possibly even doing some adjusting. This can take some getting used to, so these methods might be tricky if you’re drunk or in a hurry.
You should use them with spermicide and a condomto increase their effectiveness. If you’re not using a condom, make sure you and your partner have both been tested since spermicide can increase your risk for STIs including HIV. Veronica, a diaphragm user, backs it up with a condom just to make sure.
Your partner shouldn’t be able to feel them. While he may not be able to feel these methods during sex, you do have to insert them before sex (and take them out after), so your partner will probably eventually notice that the method is there. That being said, if you want something inconspicuous, any of these methods can be inserted hours before sex and stay put for 24-48 hours (depending on the method).
You have to leave them in place for at least 6 hours after sex to help ensure that the spermicide has done its thing.
There are side effects. These methods don’t cause the side effects sometimes associated with hormonal methods (or offer the healthbenefits), but they can sometimes cause vaginal irritation or UTIs (urinary tract infections). The biggest possible side effect? Pregnancy, since these methods are less effective on their own than hormonal methods or the non-hormonal IUD.
You shouldn’t use them when you have your period. If you’re planning on having sex while Aunt Flo is in town, you should use condoms or a different method during that time of the month.
There are a few differences too:
The diaphragm mayreduce the risk of a few nasty STIs (gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, and chlamydia), but it’s nothing compared to the protection of a condom. If you’re worried about STIs or want a back-up birth control method, condoms are definitely the way to go.
You should reapply spermicide if you inserted the diaphragm or the cervical cap a long time before sex. Same goes if you are using these methods for multiple rounds. You don’t have to worry about this with the sponge since the spermicide is already in there.
You can get the sponge without a prescription–it’s even available online. The cervical cap and the diaphragm, on the other hand, need to be fitted by a doctor.
The diaphragm is getting an upgrade. There is a new diaphragm, called Silks, making its way to the U.S. market. Silks is designed to be easier to put in and take out and may potentially be used to prevent HIV as well as pregnancy.
Liking the sound of these old-school options? Show your support by “liking” your favorites on our Facebook Method Explorer and/or tell us about your experience in the comments!
Because we are total nerds, Testosterone boasts a molecular model beard and Estrogen is sporting the molecular structure for estradiol, one of three types of estrogen made by humans. We especially love the beautiful form of the amino acid chain that comprises Insulin.
How it is used: Placed over penis to capture semen.
How often used: For a single use at the time of intercourse.
Pros: Widely available for free. Available in many sizes, colours, and flavours. Protect against STD/STIs. No medical side effects.
Cons: Can tear if not handled with care. Most commonly found in latex. Man has to pull out his penis right after ejaculation.
How effective: 98%
2. Female condoms:
How it is used: Placed inside the vagina to catch the semen.
How often used: For a single use at the time of intercourse.
Pros: Protect against STD/STIs. No medical side effects.
Cons: Not widely available. Can make noise. Can tear if not handled with care.
How effective: 95%
3. Combined pill:
How it is used: Take daily intakes of progesterone ands oestrogen to prevent the release of an egg.
How often used: Taken daily at the same time each day.
Pros: Can reduce acne. Can lighten and regulate menstruation. Can reduce risk of ovarian cancer.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Can have medical side effects. Can increase blood pressure. Linked to breast cancer and blood clots.
How effective: 99%
4. Progesterone only pill:
How it is used: Take a daily pill that releases progesterone to thickens mucus in cervix, and stops sperm from reaching the egg.
How often used: Taken daily at the same time each day.
Pros: Can be used for women who can’t use contraception that contains oestrogen. Can use it while breastfeeding. Can be used at any age. Smokers can use this. Can reduce symptoms of PMS.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Have to take a pill everyday at the same time. Some medicines may affect effectiveness. Can have side affects.
How effective: 99%
5. Cap:
How it is used: Covers the cervix and worn for 6 hours after intercourse to keep sperm from entering. Must be used with spermacide.
How often used: Used at the time of intercourse.
Pros: No side affects. Reusable.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Takes time to learn how to insert. Linked with bladder infections.
How effective: 99%
6. Implant:
How it is used: Inserted under the skin of the upper arm. Releases progesterone to stops eggs from being released.
How often used: Lasts for 3 year.
Pros: Can be removed. Safe to use while breast feeding. An option for people who can’t use oestrogen.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Periods may be irregular or stop for the first year. Numerous side affects. Needs to be put in by a professional.
How effective: 99%
7. Diaphragm
How it is used: Placed inside of vagina. Must be used with spermicide
How often used: Use at the time of intercourse.
Pros: No serious health risks. Only have to think about it when you are about to have sex.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Learning how to use it properly takes time. May develop a bladder infection.
How effective: 92-96%
8. Patch:
How it is used: Releases progesterone and oestrogen to prevent release of the egg.
How often used: Change the patch every week for 3 weeks and then 1 week without the patch.
Pros: Can be worn in water or playing sports. Reduces heavy and painful periods.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Increases blood pressure. Can develop blood clot. Not suitable for smokers. People over 35 or people who weigh more that 90kg. Visible. Mild side affects.
How effective: 99%
9. Injection:
How it is used: Injects progesterone to stop eggs from being released.
How often used: Lasts for 8 to 12 weeks depending on the type.
Pros: An option for people who can’t use oestrogen. Not affected by medication. Safe to use while breastfeeding. May reduce heavy and painful periods.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Numerous side affects. Cannot be removed. Periods may become irregular or stop. Can take up to one year to gain fertility back. Possible allergic reaction.
How effective: 99%
10. Natural Family Planning:
How it is used: Keep a daily record of your fertility signals, such as your temperature and fluids coming out of your cervix. It takes three to six menstrual cycles to learn the method. Should be accompanied with condom.
How often used: Needs to be checked daily.
Pros: No physical side effects. Learns more about your own body.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Must follow the instructions. Does not allow for mistakes. Fertility signs can be affected by factors such as illness, stress or travel. If you want to have sex during time when you might get pregnant, must use another method.
How effective: 75-99%
11. Intrauterine System:
How it is used: Releases progesterone into the womb. Makes it difficult for sperm to move through and reach an egg.
How often used: 3-5 years
Pros: It can be taken out at anytime. You don’t have to think about contraception everyday. It can be used by women who can’t have combined contraception. Can reduce menstruation pain.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Risk of mood swings, skin problems or breast tenderness. Small risk of getting infection. Uncomfortable to be put in. Hormonal problems can occur.
How effective: 99%
12. Intrauterine Device:
How it is used: Stops sperm and egg from surviving in the womb
How often used: 5-10 years
Pros: It can be removed at anytime. You don’t have to think about contraception everyday.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Changes to your periods (can make them heavier or more painful). Your body may expel IUD. Small chance of infection. Can be uncomfortable to get put in.
How effective: 75-99%
13. Vaginal Ring:
How it is used: Ring releases oesterogen and progesterone, which prevents ovulation, and makes it difficult for sperm to get to egg.
How often used: Provide contraception for a month.
Pros: Does not interrupt sex. Don’t have to think about contraceptive everyday.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Don’t have to think about it everyday. Temporary side effects, such as discharge, breast tenderness and headaches. Possible blood clotting. Sometimes the ring can come out on its own.
How effective: 99%
14. Female steralization:
How it is used: A surgery to block or seal the fallopian tubes.
How often used: Permanent procedure.
Pros: Won’t affect your hormones. Will not affect you sex drive. Rarely any long term problems.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Must continue to use contraceptives for 3 months after the surgery. Chance of the blocked tubes to rejoin.
How effective: 99%
15. Vasectomy:
How it is used: A surgery to cut off, block, or seal the tubes that carry sperm from a male’s testicles.
How often used: Permanent procedure.
Pros: The failure rate is only 0.05%. Rarely long term effects. Does not affect hormones or sex drive.
Cons: Does not protect against STD/STIs. Must continue to use contraceptives for 8 weeks after the surgery. Complications can occur.
Sex fact: “Double Bagging” or wearing two condoms at once actually is less effective. The two condoms rub together causing friction and are more likely to tear.
Sex fact: Some vaginal discharge is normal and some is not. Learn your body so you can learn the difference. Normal discharge is for cleaning and moisturizing the vagina. If you detect a change in odour, colour, or texture, it might be best to get it checked out. Especially if it accompanied with itchiness, redness, burning or swelling. (Source)
Sex Fact: As breasts begin to develop, they may develop at different rates. It is common for them to even out by the age of 20, but it is not always the case. It is normal to have two different sized breasts or nipples. (Source)
Sex Fact: Having sex for the first time doesn’t have to be painful. The only two reasons that having sex for the first time will hurt is: 1. if a female is not properly aroused so they are not self lubricated; or 2. nerves can cause the vagina to tense up making it harder for penetration. (Source)
Sex facts: STDs don’t always come with symptoms. Just because you don’t see or feel anything doesn’t mean you don’t have an STD. So make sure you and your partner get tested! (Source)
Here are a few examples of how intimacy can look for different people:
-Cuddling
-Openly discussing thoughts and experiences or having a deep conversation
-Kissing
-Watching a show or movie together
-Body tracing
-Reading together
-A massage
-Going for a walk together
-Dancing together
-Sexual affection
-Playing with someone’s hair
-Cooking/Baking together
-Having a meal together
-Sitting with someone and really looking into their eyes
-Expressing opinions to each other
-Holding hands
-Expressing feelings to each other
-Saying “I love you”
-Sleeping next to each other
These are just some of the ways people can express intimacy. The purpose of this post is to show how different intimacy can look. There are different types of intimacy that can be seen in different types of relationships/friendships.
To see my post about the different types of intimacy click here:
•Emotional intimacy: Sharing deep thoughts and feelings, and feeling safe to share them.
•Intellectual intimacy: Exchanging ideas, opinions and expressing your interests (and it feels comfortable to do so).
•Physical intimacy: Physically showing affection. (This can be anything from holding hands to cuddling to sex)
•Experiential Intimacy: Sharing an experience with someone. (Ex: going for a walk, watching your favorite show together)
•Spiritual Intimacy: Ability to comfortably discuss spiritual/religious beliefs and respecting the other person and their beliefs. You do not have to have the same beliefs as the other person, but discussing spirituality can allow people to understand each other better.
Arefractory period is the period of time it takes for one’s body to recover and reset after an orgasm. Generally during this time the muscles relax and arousal lessens, making it difficult or impossible to orgasm or get aroused during this time.
It is mostly biological males who experience a refractory period, but it is possible for biological females to experience this too. The refractory period can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours or even longer.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, just a person who wants to help others by spreading education about sex and sexuality.
