guys i’m basically getting to the point where I just want to leave like everyone says they want me here but actions speak louder than words and I’m just scared that I’m staying here for basically nothing besides the occasional time that someone decides they need me and that sucks because like that hurts and I might just move across the state when my parents leave because fuck this at least I know they want me around
I told my grandma I was, “not as convinced as I used to be,” that homosexuality is wrong. (Which is technically the truth since I don’t think it’s wrong at all anymore) And she told me she wanted to spank me (I’m 26), teared up, and tried to tell me why I was wrong. I did my best to explain why, from a Biblical perspective, it is possible to believe homosexuality isn’t a sin, ya know, hypothetically. She is convinced it’s a conspiracy.
The conversation started because she asked me what I think she should do about the wedding reception of my sort-of-2nd cousin and her wife.
How the heck do people come out in this culture when I’m sitting here scared to come out as an ally?
I really don’t mean to intrude on your thoughts/situation and etc, but I wish to offer a little bit if my perspective on this, maybe it helps you.
I think this whole thing has a lot more layers than simply “come out as an ally”.
My point is that standing your ground (and even clashing) against people with whom you have an emotional link, specially when this relationship have the weight of untold authority/respect, is extremely hard.
Coming out to society was way easier for me than coming out to my family, and I don’t even made it “official” to more than the four members that I knew it would made me feel bad if they didn’t accept and love me the same. The rest of the family probably knows since I make no secret, but their opinion simply don’t weight the same to me to care.
Everything came out fine with them, but boy I was scared to death the whole time, because they are the people that I treasure the most and that have my total and completely respect. I was completely aware that what I was telling them went against their deeply rooted beliefs, that they could easily take it on a personal level because that’s what people do when there’s a emotional link both with you and with their beliefs, and that they could just dismiss me because they held a position of authority in my life and try to bent me over what they believe is right.
It’s scary because you know how much damage these people can do to you emotionally, and it extends to any other sensitive topic other than the LGBTQ+ community, it goes to anything you do in/with your life that stands against their beliefs.
A friend once told me that “you have to be willing to pay the price to be who you are” and it stuck to me ever since.
There’s a price to be an ally of any kind. I, for example, became the “warrior of Justice”, the “annoying social justice” cousin, the “holier than thou” niece, etc, in my family because after I came out I decided to not admit anyone to be misogynistic, racist, ablleist, terf, homophobic, while I’m in the room.
It was my decision individually, and it’s not easy: I have to educate myself constantly, I have to analyze things in order to not be lured into misleading representations (as I naively did with R*ck Riordan when I was young), I have to be ready to discuss and even fight with my own family (and it gets dirty with a few members) and friends all the time, I have to be willing to shut up and listen when I’m wrong, I have to engage in petitions/protests/movements, and the list goes on.
Sometimes it’s overwhelming, sometimes I get tired of repeating the same things to the same people over and over, sometimes it hurts a lot when I find out all the problems in things I love (books, movies, music, TV shows), sometimes I loose friends, sometimes it feels like I take one step further and ten back and sometimes I feel like giving up.
But then I don’t. Because all of this is hard, it’s heavy, but that’s who I’m. And it’s infinitely worse not being who I’m in order to take a “easier” life.
I know that it sounds like I’m calling you out to take a stand, but I’m swear by all means that I’m not, I would never do something like this to anyone because I know how much time you need to process all this, how much energy destroying and rebuilding ourselves it takes, and how it’s a never-ending process.
What I wish to do is offer you the bigger picture of what come out as an ally really is, how it’s harder and heavier than just answering your grandma “I think you should get them an amazing gift” like it was nothing, it takes a lot more and maybe you’re just not ready yet, and that’s ok.
Maybe all you can afford to do now is be a silent supporter, and that’s fine, simply refusing to reproduce what people around you are doing, refusing to engage in bigoted conversations, walking out of ambients where people are being toxic are all big valid steps to make and will help later when you decide to become confrontational.
Thank you so much for this. I appreciate all the time and heart you put into it. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for the encouragement and for the understanding.
I know that becoming who I want to be is a journey, not a destination, but sometimes it’s hard to see the progress I’m making.
Last year my brother and I started hiking the Appalachian trail in sections. We started with 100 miles (160 km) in Maine which is incredibly mountainous. On our last day we reached the peak of Whitecap Mountain and were able to look back to where we had started 5 days before. It was a stunning moment to see how those 200,000 odd steps over incredibly rough terrain led us to a place that was amazing, not just for how beautiful it was, but for what we had given to get there.
You telling me your story and helping me look back on how far I’ve come has been like that moment for me. I know I still have over 2100 miles (3300 km) to go, but seeing what I’ve already overcome gives me hope that I can do it.
animators fuck me up. if you asked me to draw something it would take every ounce of my life to complete this task. if you then asked me to draw it again a little to the left I would die
Okay, you have to watch episode five of the holiday season of Netflix’s Nailed It, because I haven’t laughed that hard in such a gd long time. Like, literal tears and so many of them and I couldn’t breathe, let alone form words through it all for a solid minute to explain to my husband why I was losing my damn mind.
i’m opening commissions again in time for christmas bc the train lines have fucked me over and i need the money !
i will draw: your ocs! your friends! fan art! fan art of stuff i don’t know or care about! a ship i’m not 100% on board with (assuming it’s legal and consensual)! gifs and comics! two people are 45° angles with neutral expressions! i will try my best at animals but i’m bad at them so that’s your funeral! i’m great at birds tho!
i won’t draw: nsfw, furries, gore, things i think are bad and gross, stuff i don’t wanna draw, in the heights (sorry), etc
slots are limited and first come first serve
please message me with a thorough description of what you’d like so I can quote you! prices are subject to change based on complexity of the request. alternatively email me at [email protected]
This is a PSA to let y’all know that there is an Aziraphale Blend of tea available on Adagio
I just ordered it. If you ship it with the Crowley tea you get 10% off.
Ok so. Lessons learned.
Loose leaf tea is about 800% better than I remembered my God the flavors
A good ratio is a little less than 3 teaspoons of tea in this mug.
The Aziraphale tea has really great notes of sweet and bitter and spice. Possibly toss in a cinnamon stick?
The Crowley tea made me astral project into another universe. It was so good I forgot to eat chocolate after dinner.
Adagio is not kidding around when they say “high caffeine”
Do not drink both teas back to back.
Do not drink both teas after dinner.
Infinite energy does not mean infinite writing
I may have a caffeine hangover.
Good God I need more tea.
I still can’t get over the weirdly specific merchandise Good Omens has.
Like, teas for the radio show (why?). Perfumes based on the book (to smell like a flaming sword??). Nail polish based on the show (why???).
They could’ve made a notebook with Crowley’s snake symbol slapped on and we’d probably all happily splurged on it. People went on Amazon specifically to hunt down Aziraphale’s angel mug, which was already there and has nothing to do with the show whatsoever. That’s how starved for merchandise people are.
But no. They made red and blue nail polish, and nothing else. It’s so random, I love it.
If I remember correctly, there are some official pins on Discworld dot com, and a super cute official red umbrella given away at the TV Show premiere. And that’s all the official merchandise they did, I think.
Which is hilarious to me because the fandom has been here for 30 years and it literally exploded after the TV Show, you’d think Amazon would try to capitalize on such a fanbase more.
Omg it gets better, they have a HASTUR perfume
Now I’m convinced this is one of Crowley’s pranks.
What the actual fuck.
Whomakesthese?
I mean the tea is still kinda cool. Aziraphale at least likes tea. You can have it in the angel wing mug (which I was by the way convinced had to be merch).
Perfumes and nail polish on the other hand are the kind of merch they usually make for franchises that have everything else anyway, so you need a novelty to get people’s attention. This is the merch you get when everyone has their share of t-shirts, posters, mugs, duvet covers and what have you’s.
I was going to treat myself to something for Christmas/Survival of 2020, and I didn’t even find the teas and perfumes when browsing Amazon here (although they show up when using the UK and US sites). But nothing else shows up! I thought maybe everything already sold out or something, but you’re telling me there never was this kind of stuff?
So, where are my printed mugs, posters and duvet covers? They have these awesome designs on the series posters. These would look great printed out on cool glossy paper, or printed on mugs, or as notebook covers. They’re practically perfect for printing on anything and looking great.
Where is my skull and wings poster t-shirt so I can wear it to match the Crowley-ish sunglasses you can get on Amazon (also not official merch) and drink my Aziraphale tea from an angel wing mug?
Before the computing era, ILM was the master of oil matte painting, making audiences believe that some of the sets in the original Star WarsandIndiana Jones trilogy were real when they weren’t. They were the work of geniuses like Chris Evans,Michael Pangrazio,Frank Ordaz,Harrison Ellenshaw andRalph McQuarrie! Forever thank you, to their handmade art and the work of their colleagues, that made us dream of impossible worlds and fantastic places across Earth and the Universe.
There are more background paintingsonthis article, featuring comments by the masters/artists themselves!
Some of the following pieces were made by other artists 2:
I’m reworking the Toybox crew’s designs yet again. Mostly because I had a big brain moment and realized that hey, my crayon style might work better for this Visual Novel because a) much easier to draw and adjust than the thin colored lineart and b) it’s literally named Toybox why didn’t I do this sooner.
Also because c) thicc lineart go brrrrrrrrrrrr.
And now he has a face! That took a lot less time than I thought, why on Earth didn’t I do this sooner!?
