Transgender cringe moment (hysterical edition): soaps with holes so men can fuck them give me dysphoria
I know i’m a man because if i woke up tomorrow with a penis i would absolutely fuck soap literally immediately it is my biggest want in the world to put my dick in a soaphole.
You could throw a plate across the room and a man would fuck it before it lands and i know because i’m that man
I love imagining I’m a sexy petite big titty asian girl who looks so innocent when surrounded by many hard cocks ready to fuck my horny asian fuckholes senseless ❤️❤️❤️
Word count: 1200 Tags: levi x reader, smut, alcohol mention, breeding kink, mommy kink, lactation mention, fem!reader
Silent but spoken, a specialty to the standard routine - such was tonight’s feeling. Stepping through your front door and kicking off your shoes. You chopped the vegetables, Levi sauteed them. Over candlelight and wine, you exchanged your typical small talk, but though the words were few, so much was understood. Namely, the common thought: we would make good parents.
That sentiment hovered like a cloud, one that provides just enough shade but still keeps you warm on a May Mother’s Day. You showered, Levi brushed his teeth, and in bed, you stripped yourselves free of hot summer clothes.
In a swift motion, Levi rolled from beside you to on top of you. Hands clutched the bedsheets at both sides of your head, strong shoulders kept him perched above you. Gazing down to you, his husky voice hushed, “I want you.” But instead of the usual sultry moves that followed - a bite on the ear, lovemarks on your neck - he pinched your chin and tugged your lips to his, speaking against them, “I want you to be the mother of my children.”
default support tag viewer was a wonderful gift. especially when your blog has no consistency. my notifications are in a constant state of “so adorable!!! wow!” “this brings me peace” “I want to know that character carnally” “that’s funny :)”
once again thinking about the time in high school english class (second language) when we were reading a text about wildlife preservation or something and one of the species of birds mentioned were boobies. and our teacher was like yes this is a funny word but it is actually a type of bird. and to prove it, with the whitescreen projector turned on for the whole class to see, opened google images on the computer and searched “boobies”
Once, I believe in middle school, we had to make a presentation about the formation of Earth. Diligently enough, we googled on the class computer “origin of the world”. Let us just say, this was a more innocent age for search engines, and either safe search was less powerful than today, or the technicians didn’t bother to set it, or both. So what pops up in the first page of results is a painting titled The Origin of the World, by Gustave Courbet.
THIS painting. (Very much not safe for work, consider carefully where you are before clicking.)
Easter is a holiday celebrating gathering colorful chocolate eggs for kids to eat. Jaune walked down the halls of Beacon on his way to his team’s dorm room. Apparently, his girlfriend, Neopolitan, called him to come to the dorm.
Jaune was a little nervous about what his mute, psychotic girlfriend had in store for him. He just hopes it wasn’t crazy and chaotic, he already had enough this morning.
Nora and Ruby were definitely excited about getting chocolate the two redheads were VERY competitive in the gathering part. It resulted in a mini civil war between the two.
Pyrrha and Ren stayed with the rest of his circle group of friends to stop the two sugar-addicted girls in their little war.
When he arrived at the dorm, he took a deep breath and braced himself on what was on the other side of the door.
Jaune: Alright, Neo why did you call-
Standing in front of him was his short stack of a girlfriend. She wore a pair of pink and brown bunny ears on top of her head. But what got him the most was that she was wearing one of those reverse bunny suits. Her front was completely exposed, leaving her large tits that can make Yang feel insecure about hers, her slim and toned belly, and her sex in full view in front of him. Neo’s face had a seductive smile and raised her gloved-covered hands close to her head and made a peace sign. She looked incredibly sexy.
But Jaune just stood there, with an unreadable expression on his face.
After 5 seconds of awkwardness, Neo’s seductive look was replaced with concern. She slowly approached her boyfriend/plaything with caution.
She waved her hand in front of his face. No reaction.
She poked him on the cheek. No reaction.
She poked him in the face several times.
The last thing she will remember that hour was his hand snatching her wrist.
One hour later…
Neo’s face twisted into an ahegao as she felt her normally timid boyfriend fucked her in a full nelson position. Her bunny ears were knocked off of her head long ago. Her slim belly sported a bulge where his dick was, she watched it cleave into her between her swinging breasts. She heard her blonde stud huff and growl close to her. She loved riling him up so he’d snap and senselessly fuck her into a coma.
She felt him throb inside her, signaling his release, and braced herself.
When he did, it felt like a punch in the gut, but the pleasurable kind. Her mismatched eyes rolled back into her sockets and her tongue lolled out and her belly bloated with every pump inside. It felt so warm and Neo loved it.
But she has a feeling Jaune was far from being done with her.
Two hours later…
Jaune and Neo wrestled their tongues while the blonde rammed Neo in a mating press position. Her small body was almost unnoticeable due to Jaune’s bigger and muscular body. She wrapped her arms and thicc legs around her boyfriend’s neck and waist so he wouldn’t leave, not that Jaune was ever going to anyway.
Jaune came again, due to the proximity of their bodies, cum just seeped out of her stuffed snatch, creating a puddle on the sheets.
Jaune flipped Neo on her belly in quick succession, startling her, and went back to rutting. Her big tits cushion her while simultaneously giving Jaune a nice view of her tits getting pancaked deliciously.
Jaune spanked her ass and left a red handprint.
Jaune: Mine.
Neo shuddered in pleasure. She loves it when he gets dominant! She bit her lip when he spanked her again.
30 minutes later…
Jaune pulled out of Neo’s cunt and admired the view. Neo face down and ass in the air with her cunt oozing with his spunk. Her cheeks were covered in handprints. But there was one more hole he hadn’t claimed…
Neo felt something familiar poke her asshole and made her eyes widen. She was about to do something but she was already too late…
In one swift motion, Jaune lodged all of his nine-and-a-half-inch meat in her ass, making her cough up spittle in the process.
Jaune then proceeded to fuck her ass for another hour.
After the long bed-breaking sex…
The remaining members of NPR were shocked to find their room in such a messed-up condition. A few books fell from the bookshelf, a table practically broken in half and the legs of Jaune’s bed broken. And on said blonde’s bed was his girlfriend face down and ass up. She wore the most pleasured face ever seen and both of her holes stretched out and oozed with jizz and sported a belly bulge. They swore they saw her leg twitch.
They were brought out of their thoughts by the bathroom door opening.
Out came their leader with nothing but a towel on his waist.
Jaune: Oh hey guys! Enjoyed the hunt?
Ren: Errr, yeah. Nora was a handful.
Jaune just nodded.
Jaune: Well, glad you guys had fun. I had fun too, isn’t that right Neo?
He walked up to his ruined girlfriend and spanked her again. This caused Neo’s legs to finally stop supporting her body and caused the bulge to release the cum from inside and out of her two holes.
Jaune’s face grimaced as he saw the massive puddle of his own making spread on the floor.
Jaune: I’m gonna have to clean that, don’t I?
Ren: Yes. Yes, you should.
Ren glanced at Pyrrha, who had a big blush on her face and started to breathe heavily.
Nora on the other hand…
Nora: Nice! thumbs up
If you want to know what Neo’s wearing, here ya go:
Summary: Aaron isn’t so sure about the idea of having sex while you’re pregnant. Luckily, you manage to come up with a solution that works for both of you.
Pairing: Hotch x blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n)
Word Count: 1.9k
Warnings: smut! 18+ material! Dirty talk, thigh fucking, non-penetrative sex, pregnancy during sexual activities, Aaron kinda goes wild for the pregnancy thing, squirting, oral sex (f receiving), language. Let me know if I missed anything!
summary: a little bit of old and a the start of something new in the end.
pairing: fem!reader x newly bau!aaron hotchner
contents:18+/nsfw/MINORS DNI, oral sex (fem receiving), fluff
an: hiii this is late bc i got lazy lmfaooo but it’s here! and this is truly it my friends! in my head, these two live a pretty happy life, they’re perfect for each other. this probably the only au i’ll ever write where he never goes through the foyet trauma. so they really get their happily ever after <3
You’re standing in your closet half-naked, sifting through your shirts to find one for work when Aaron’s arms circle you to set some files on your dresser before closing they close around your waist as he plants kisses on the column of your throat.
