1.     Wag ng mag-abalang gumawa ng Dalgona Coffee. Lasang kabet! Masarap lang sa una pero nakakaumay. At the end of the day, dun pa din ang balik mo sa LEGIT 3-in-1 na nasa sachet. 

2.     Ugaliing gumising ng tanghali para isang kainan na lang.

3.     Kumustahin ang mga friends mong naka-Spotify premium at may Netflix account. Always remind them to stay home, keep safe and ‘Beke nemen.’

4.     Wag ipang-rebond ang nakuhang ayuda. Kakarebond mo lang nung December.

5.     Wag masyadong sarapan ang luto para hindi masyadong kainin. Ang mahalaga instagrammable.

6.     Kung sinong maghuhugas ng pinggan siya lamang ang may karapatan kumain ng pinakamalaking gayat ng manok. Yung leeg, sa walang ambag.

7.     Iwasan munang lumandi. It could save your heart from hapdi.

8.     Iwasang manood ng Mukbang vlogs para hindi gutumin. I-binge-watch ang Human Centipede at Tekas Chainsaw Massacre.

9.     Ilagay sa tabo ang pinagmumugan. Masasatisfy ang pwet mo kapag ginamit mo itong panghugas. Ma-mint mint pa.

10.   Hatiin sa maliliit na cubes ang Kojic soap. Dahil lahat ng bagay ay madaling maubos kapag binibigay agad ng buo. #TheKojicConcept

11.   Please lang pakibalik ng talong sa ref. Pwede pa yang ipangtorta as long as walang nakakaalam kung saan mo ito ginamit. Note: Pakihugasang mabuti mga 10x.

12.   Para tipid sa tubig kapag maliligo, dahan-dahan lang sa pagbuhos ng atensyon sa taong hindi naman interesado sa’yo.

13.   Picture-an ang bilbil at pakatitigan ito ng mabuti lalo na kapag napapadami ng kain. Iwasang kumurap at mapaluha pero optional ang pagpisil.

14.   Mag-enroll sa mga free online course gaya ng “How to Be a Professional Digital Artist using PicsArt”, “30 minutes Free Online Course on How to Be a Professional Chef by Panlasang Pinoy” and “1-week Online Course Kung Paano Magpatawad at Magmove-On.”

15.   Hindi required ang ‘midnight snacks’ kapag nagNenetflix, magtiyaga na lang muna sa pagngatngat ng punda ng unan.

16.   Magluto na lang kesa umorder online naman siya pero bakit di ka magawang replyan baka may ibang kausap luhhh.

17. Planuhin ang meal ng naaayon sa budget para pwede mo ng asawahin ang sarili mo. (Day 1. Tuyosilog. Day 2. Caviar-Silog. Day 3 Lumpiang tuyo. Day 4. Lumpiang Caviar) 

18.   Ipang-ulam ang abs ni crush habang pinagmamasdan ang mga hubad niyang larawan at tiktok videos na puro pa-lawlaw.

19.   Kapag mag-gogrocery, bilhin lamang kung ano ang kailangan mo siya pero hindi naman ikaw ang kailangan niya dahil may mahal na siyang iba.

20.   Para makatipid sa bigas, huwag nang isaing ipatuka na lang.

bushranging-destrier:

I know lockdowns and border closures are bad and all but damn, does it make everything so much more pleasant.

Cities and towns and indoor spaces are infinitely improved by everyone fucking right off.

It’s a national lockdown, I’m self-isolating, it’s the weekend, and I have nothing to do … so probs gonna spam this account

bobbiegalore:

My ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD sister has to do her mandatory school work remotely from home because of lockdown. Tonight, my mum and I discovered that the app she has to use for class contains

MICROTRANSACTIONS.

Let me repeat that: microtransactions being put into an app that my little sister needs to use to receive her school assignments and participate in her education.

Basically, this is an app where the teacher uploads assignments for kids to do and every kid has a little monster that they use as an avatar in the virtual classroom. You can unlock new skins and customise your monster but it costs REAL MONEY.

Kids don’t need this kind of peer pressure. They already have to deal with these god damn transactions in all of their video games. They don’t need this in their VIRTUAL CLASSROOM APPS.

PLEASE STOP PREYING ON CHILDREN WHO ARE TRYING TO DO THEIR SCHOOL WORK.

My sister does not need to spend money customising her in-app classroom avatar. She is trying to do her maths assignments. She is a CHILD.

Why are microtransactions being put into TEACHING APPs that children are using for MANDATORY WORK during a PANDEMIC????

Abolish capitalism and all of these god damn parasites hurting our kids. Holy hell.

Le coccole sono un bene dell'umanità contro l'estrema solitudine moderna: impariamo a dargli un valore superiore a quello del sesso

Le coccole sono un bene dell’umanità contro l’estrema solitudine moderna: impariamo a dargli un valore superiore a quello del sesso

Foto copertina: coniglietto rosa Njintje Miffy

È notizia di un mese fa la decisione del governo italiano di offrire voucher di massimo 600 euro per permettere ai suoi cittadini di andare dallo psicologo per curare gli effetti della pandemia. Una delle conseguenze più devastanti del lockdown dal 2020 ad oggi è stata l’estrema solitudine che ognuno ha potuto sperimentare a vari livelli. La…

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Moriarty says to get plenty of sleep and stay healthy because even tho a lot of us are on lockdown theres no reason to not take care of ourselves.

Spanish Flu, 1918. Family Portrait.

Hani Abbas

A kingdom of self-isolation, and it looks like I’m the queen ❄️