A/N: Hi everyone! This one shot is set post-s8 of Voltron, though I refuse to have Allura and Lotor die so you could say it’s an AU??? Also, writing a character with [y/n] instead of a character’s name just puts my writing off, so I named my character Victoria (nicknamed Tori sometimes), so feel free to replace that name in your head with any name you want! Oh and there are two bonuses in the end, I hope you will like it!
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The universe had been at peace for seven years, but a new threat emerged, Haggar the witch’s druids that had come together to undermine Lotor and Allura’s authority as King and Queen of New Altea and the Galra Empire and try to disrupt our freedom. We had thought the druids had disappeared after the Blades of Marmora, led by Kolivan, attacked the planet on which they were hiding during the three years during which Voltron – the Paladins, Coran, Romelle, Krolia and I – had vanished after sealing the quintessence field and leaving Lotor there (the story of how we reconciled with Lotor after he went bonkers in the quintessence field and how he and Allura got married is a very interesting story for another day.). One druid, disguised himself as a peaceful survival of that planet, told us so before revealing himself to us and trying to kill us. When we defeated him, we were certain the druids were no longer a threat for the universe; alas, how wrong were we.
When Allura and Lotor called team Voltron back to a brand new Castle of Lions that Coran, Pidge’s father, Sam Holt, and Lotor had built, we all had lives of our own and never expected to be back to space to defend the universe again. Shiro and I, now respectively Commander and Vice Admiral, were running the Galaxy Garrison alongside Iverson, who became Admiral, and had gotten married two years prior; we helped Pidge and Lance, engaged for six months, as well as their families – Pidge’s mother, brother and father were running the labs, Lance’s sister, Veronica, was still the communication director, and their little sister Rachel had enrolled as a cadet a year prior – to run and develop the new Garrison Defenders of the Universe program. Keith was mostly off world, leading the Blades of Marmora into its new humanitarian purpose alongside his mother and father-in-law – Krolia and Kolivan had tied the knot three years before Shiro and I did and the three of them were a very cute, loving family. Hunk was taking his new role of universal diplomat very seriously and he and his chefs team were uniting the universe with food. Allura was obviously married to Lotor and they ruled New Altea and the brand new Galra Empire under the principles of transparency, unity and peace, with the useful advices from Coran, Romelle, and Lotor’s former generals, Axca, Zethrid and Ezor.
So when we all boarded the Castle of Lions, it felt very strange to leave our ordinary lives. Everything was the same from the old days of defending the universe, except for the fact that Romelle, Kolivan, Lotor and Krolia were now permanent occupants of the castleship. Since Allura was pregnant of her first imperial baby, Lotor refused she risked her life on the front line of battle, thus reversing the lions setting back to what it used to be when we first went to space aboard of the Blue Lion: Pidge stayed the Green Paladin, Hunk remained the Yellow one, Lance got back into the Blue Lion, Keith was the Red Paladin over again, and Shiro of course formed the head of Voltron with the Black Lion. As for me, I was still firing weapons from the Castle with Coran, and was occasionally piloting one of Lotor’s Sincline ships alongside Krolia and Kolivan when the Paladins needed backup.
Our mission was to eliminate the threat the druids posed and free the planets they had enslaved. When we first thought it was only going to take us a couple months, after discovering the amount of druids we had to fight, we understood it would likely take more than just a month or two. My anxiety started to rise again as I watched the Paladins risk their lives out there, and it was not a pleasant feeling that I had hoped would never be back. It was ten times more amplified now that Shiro and I had shared seven years living together in a peaceful universe, including two married ones. My fears of never seeing him coming back to me had never been that bad, and my nightmares of seeing him die without being able to do a thing to save him had unfortunately returned. Almost every night, I woke up screaming and crying from the sight of his lifeless body in my dreams; Shiro did his best to reassure me, but I had a gut feeling that told me something was going to go really wrong one day.
“Don’t worry, Mrs., I’ll always come back safe to you. I have in the past, haven’t I? Zarkon killing me and then being replaced by a clone that itself died was not enough to keep me away from you.” He kept saying every single time he had to go out there with the Paladins and I had to stay in the Castle.
“All the same, be careful. If you die out there, I swear I will kill you.” I always replied, faking being reassured but feeling very anxious.
My gut feelings were proven wrong every time so far, Shiro always came back to me safe and sound. Until that day. It had been seven months that we had left our peaceful ordinary lives, and we were finally about to finish what we started. Thanks to some Coalition intelligence, we knew where the druids’ secret lair was, on Planet Daibazaal, Lotor’s birthplace. The planet, along with Olkarion and New Altea, had been restored in our reality when Honerva – formerly Haggar the witch – sacrificed herself to restore all the realities she destroyed after Lotor finally forgave her for all her mistakes and asked her, on their lost mother-son relationship, to do the right thing. When Lotor took the oath of Emperor of the Galra Empire, he was certain peace had reached the entire universe, including Daibazaal, but he did not know that the druids had come back and built secret headquarters near the trans-reality rift on the planet. As Lotor, Krolia and Kolivan knew the place very well, it was agreed that we would not need any Voltron Coalition backup, even if I was the only one to think it was the worst idea ever. The plan was simple: we would leave the Castle near the imperial palace, where Allura and her big baby bump would be safe – Romelle, Coran and Lotor would stay with her, but would stand ready to come in as a backup if necessary, and Voltron would approach, cloaked. We needed to get rid of the druids and their headquarters without exploding the planet, so we needed to upload a computer virus created by Pidge and Hunk in the building so that the explosion would be contained there. Krolia and Kolivan were to lead Pidge to the computers, while Shiro, Keith, Lance, Hunk and I would make sure that no druid was alerted while installing the explosives. Then, once the explosives and the virus were settled, we would have ten minutes to leave, flying Voltron out of the explosion zone back to the imperial palace. We thought the plan was flawless, because, even if one of us got injured, we had the best doctors of the Galra Empire in the palace to take care of us.
Except, the plan had one flaw, one flaw that made it crumble completely and made us improvise: the druids had been tipped off by someone from the palace and were waiting for us when we landed. Their magic was very dangerous, more dangerous than any weapon we knew. That magic almost killed Shiro a few years back after a fight he had with Haggar, but he was saved because we had put him in the healing pod right in time before the wound became critical; Keith too had been the victim of that magic when we were researching what the Galra were up to, and he would have lost his hand, had it not been for pure quintessence flowing by accident on his hand to heal it. That magic was a disaster on us a decade ago; but since the druids had been hiding, they had time to perfect their spells and make them even more dangerous.
“Try to evade their hits as much as you can guys! Do not let the blast touch you or you might not survive it!” Keith yelled as he, back to back with Hunk, Lance Shiro and I, was trying to hold off a bunch of druids while Kolivan, Krolia and Pidge ran to the center command where the computers would be.
“We will never be able to hold them off and install the explosives!” I replied, trying to slice a druid with my Altean broadsword as the druid just disappeared and evaded my attempt to reappear a few meters further.
“We’ll have to split! Victoria, Keith and Hunk, you go install the explosives, while Lance and I hold them off as much as we can!” Shiro ordered, lifting his wrist shield to protect us. “Now go! We’ll provide you with some cover!”
“Takashi–” I started, anxiety at its peak as he was once more on a way more dangerous mission than I was.
“Victoria, just GO!” He cut me off. “I know you’re technically my superior officer, but you have to go now, so we can end this and go back home to our peaceful married life.”
“I… Be careful.” I said after a silence, and I ran to follow Keith and Hunk, who were way ahead of me already.
I looked up one last time, my guts telling me how wrong it was to leave my husband there, and I saw Lance and him blasting the druids. I ran and joined Hunk and Keith in the heat room, where the explosives would propagate once fired through the entire base but would be contained thanks to Pidge’s virus, as it closed all exits made of Kryptanium, a metal that would contain the druids from teleporting out of there. We started installing the explosives in silence, but soon we were joined by druids who escaped Shiro and Lance’s surveillance. Keith told me to keep working and he and Hunk tried their best to protect me. As I was doing my job, I realised the heating room was not a good enough combustible for the bombs, and I still had some spare in my bag; another good place for the explosives to burn the whole place down and the druids with it was where their ships were, in the hangars. Wrist shield and sword up, the bag on my back, I ran to the hangars.
“Where are you going??!!!” Keith yelled.
“To the hangars! If we explode the ships the base will truly burn entirely and faster!” I replied.
“Victoria, NO, not without cover!” Hunk said.
“There is no time!!! Hold them off here so they don’t remove the explosives while I go there to install my spare!” I retorted, leaving for good this time.
Through my comms, I heard Keith swearing and he warned everyone else about my improvised plan, so that someone could reach me in time to provide me with some protection support. I reached the hangars without meeting any druids, I thought they were all focusing on the heating room, the lobby where Shiro and Lance were and probably the center command, so nobody would suspect I would be here trying to blow their ships up. I started getting to work, and I was just done when I heard the noise of a druid appearing behind me. The sound of their magical blast could also be heard, and I knew it was a matter of seconds before I got hit. Running for cover was pointless, the druid would hit me before I could hide behind a ship. I knew it was the end. I had no idea whether the hit was going to be lethal or almost so that I could be brought back to the imperial palace to be patched up. Either way, I braced myself. My last thought was for my husband, thinking of how much I loved him and how much I wished I had not been so tired and sick lately to fully enjoy our days off together. As I closed my eyes, ready to get hit by the druid’s magical blast, I heard the voice of Shiro behind me:
“Victoria, NO!!!!!"
I turned around and saw with horror that Shiro had thrown himself right before me and got hit by the druid’s blast for me. I screamed so loudly on a high pitch tone. My heart had skipped a heartbeat and was now racing so fast. I was fueled up with anger. In a fraction of second, before the druid could disappear or even throw another blast at me, I threw my sword violently with a scream of pure rage, and the druid was impaled on my blade, breathing its last breath while I was running down to Shiro, goraning of pain on the floor.
"Takashi! Oh my God, no, don’t you dare dying on me right here! We need to get out of this place!!!” I said, tears streaming down my face.
“C-can’t stand…” Shiro managed to stay, trying his best to stay awake.
“Help! Anyone!!! Somebody, please!” I yelled in the comms, hoping for someone to respond.
A few seconds later, Keith arrived, followed by the others, all of them widening. They ran to us and Lance helped me to get up, while Kolivan was carrying Shiro on his shoulders. We ran to the exit, Pidge, Hunk, Krolia and Lance giving us some cover so that we could run to Voltron outside of the base. We had less than ten minutes since Pidge activated the virus and the explosives before everyone joined Shiro and I in the hangars, and we needed to get out of the base and fly as far away as we could very fast not to be affected by the explosion. It was not an easy job when we had one man down and hundreds of druids pursuing us, but we eventually made it out right before the doors closed – the druids pursuing us could no longer follow us outside, and we ran to Voltron.
“We don’t have Allura with us, and we have less than three minutes before the explosion blasts. How are we going to pilot the Black Lion? Shiro is in no shape to pilot it.” Hunk asked, as we entered the mighty robot.
“Victoria, you’re our only chance to get out of here in one piece.” Lance said to me in the comms, as Kolivan followed me in the cockpit of Black, Shiro on his shoulder.
“Me??! I can't–” I protested.
“You have to. We need to get Shiro as fast as we can to the imperial palace.” Krolia encouraged me from the Red Lion, where she was with her son.
“Remember when Shiro disappeared after he got his bayard back from Zarkon, and we all had to go inside Black to try to see if it chose us as its Black Paladin. I was chosen, but you woke up Black for a second. You almost became its Paladin. You can do it. You’re a great pilot, I’ve seen your agility in the Sincline ship, you are a born leader, you’re the youngest Vice Admiral in the history of the Galaxy Garrison, you’re the Vice Captain of the IGF-Atlas, you are Shiro’s wife and natural successor. I believe in you.” Keith said.
“You are his natural successor. You were the Black Paladin when Allura still could pilot the Blue Lion. You are meant to pilot it. Not me.” I said, looking down.
“Victoria… S-save me…” Shiro’s faint voice resonated like a bomb in the cockpit.
I frowned, not convinced, but his plight touched me deeply in the heart, and I decided to try. I sat down in the seat in front of the commands, grabbed them and, before I closed my eyes to connect with Black, I told Kolivan:
“Keep him awake.”
Kolivan nodded and I tried to connect with the Black Lion. I begged it in my mind and heart to trust me to be its pilot so that I could save my husband. It did not take long for it to wake up and connect with me. We only had one minute left to fly as far as we could.
“We need the super thrusters, now!” I ordered, and Lance and Hunk activated them.
We flew as fast as we could, and suddenly we heard and felt the blast of the explosion, propulsating us further. We looked back and noticed with satisfaction that we had gotten out of there victorious. It was only Shiro’s groan of pain that reminded us that we needed to get to the imperial palace as fast as we could. We flew back there, disbanded and landed near the main entrance. Kolivan carried Shiro inside, where Lotor, Allura, Coran and Romelle were waiting for us, all of us on his tail.
“Take them to the med bay now!” Lotor ordered sentries.
The sentries led us to the med bay, and the doctors took him in, leaving us in the waiting room. I was frantic. They had been locked in with my husband for an hour or so, and I was not allowed inside as long as they were performing surgery on him. I was turning around in circle, so anxious. Everyone but Keith – leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, a look of concern on his face – and I were sat down, patiently waiting for the surgeons to come out and give us some news. It was a nightmare to be waiting there.
At last, the doors opened and revealed the head surgeon. He looked at Lotor with a grim look, and the latter sighed, but I could tell it was not relief. They spoke in a language I could not understand and then the doctor left. Frowning and panicking, I asked:
“What did he say??? What’s going on? Lotor, you have to tell me!"
"He… I’m sorry, Victoria. They did what they could to remove the magic, but… He thought you would take the news better if it came from me. Shiro is awake, but I’m afraid this won’t last.” Lotor said with a sorrowful but soft voice, his eyes looking down.
“No! No, no, no, no! No!!!” I exclaimed, my eyes filling themselves with tears, my heart feeling like it tore itself apart.
“You should go see him.” Allura encouraged me with a shaking voice.
I took a deep breath and pushed the doors, shaking. Shiro was on a bed, looking weak. His breathing was slow and effortful, I could hear it. I came closer, trying to stay up, and grabbed his hand. He opened his eyes and managed to say:
“Tori… I… ”
“I’m here,” I sobbed. “I’m right beside you, my angel.”
“Listen… We don’t have much time left. I-I love y-you, okay? I will always love you. I just wish I married you s-sooner. Two years… as your husband were not e-enough… But they were the b-best I have ever l-lived.” He said weakly.
“I can’t lose you. I just can't… It’s too hard.” I replied, my sobs intensifying.
“You have to. I’ll watch over you from the stars… But you have to move o-on. Don’t let my d-death ruin your life. Find s-someone… someone you can love and be happy w-with. You deserve so much… You deserve to be happy."
"Why did you… why did you throw yourself in front of the blast? You knew it might be lethal…” I asked, feeling angry at myself.
“I couldn’t let you… die.” He replied with a faint smile.
“But now you…” I said, unable to finish my sentence, my voice feeling strangled in my throat.
“I’ve had so many second chances. I was supposed to die a year after the K-Kerberos mission… My tumour… I had a life deferment when the Galra replaced my arm with a prosthetic. And then… Then, I met you, and I had another second chance when Allura put my consciousness in my clone’s body. I had two chances to live a life with you… And I did. I have no regrets. Part of the journey is the end, sweetheart… My end has come."
"No… Don’t leave me like this!!!"
"Victoria Shirogane… I… ”
Shiro did not finish his sentence. His heart had stopped beating, and my heart felt like stopped beating as well. I let out a strangled cry of sorrow, the most painful to hear. Keith, Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Lotor, Allura, Coran, Romelle, Kolivan and Krolia entered the room, and gasped, let a sob go or sniffed as they realised Shiro was dead. Keith, his face soaked with his tears, came closer and embraced me in order to comfort me and to make me let go on Shiro’s hand.
“Victoria, you have to let go now… He’s gone.” He said with a shaking voice.
“No, no, no, no, he has to wake up!!! I can’t live without him!!! I need him!!!” I yelled, struggling to push Keith away.
“I know… I know… But you need to let go of his hand.” He replied, struggling too to keep me in his arms and to remove me from my late husband. “I need help.” He added to the others.
I felt more hands on my shoulder and two, that I identified as Lance’s, trying to remove Shiro’s hand from mine. I screamed, struggling, but they were all stronger than I was. Keith, Lance and Krolia dragged me away from the room, while Lotor closed Shiro’s eyes. They took me to an empty room, and let me go. I kept screaming, and I fell on my knees, feeling like my whole world had collapsed. It hurt so much, my heart was torn to pieces, it felt like part of me had been ripped off my being. I could not stop crying, and Keith tried to get me up, muttering words of comfort and how I needed to be strong, thus standing up. I stopped struggling this time as he touched me, but my knees felt weak. He supported me, hugging me in comfort, until I was more or less myself again. Keith brought me back to my room in the Castle, as I needed to rest, and we needed to take off to get back to Earth. I knew Lotor had prepared a coffin for Shiro’s body, since we needed to bring him back home, and when Keith realised I could not stay alone in my room, he asked Lotor to help the rest of the Paladins, Coran and Allura to pilot the Castle back to Earth.
When the wormhole appeared on top of Earth, we entered the atmosphere, and we landed on the parking space for the Castle, the Garisson had already alerted everyone and a crowd was chanting in victory outside. A red carpet was displayed from the entrance of the Castle to where Iverson, Sam Holt and the rest of the Garrison crew were waiting. The Paladins and I led the way out, followed by Allura, Romelle, and the coffin of Shiro that Lotor, Kolivan, Coran and Krolia were carrying. As soon as the crowd saw that there were four Paladins and not five, and that a coffin was following us, the chanting stopped to be replaced by gasps, screams and loud sobs. My own tears were menacing to fall down, and I felt like I could not stand up anymore, so Keith, who was walking by my side, supported me so that I would keep walking. Iverson ordered that Shiro’s body was cremated as his last wishes indicated so on a paper we all filled up before leaving Earth just in case. We entered the base, and had to get ready for the ceremony honouring my late husband in front of the Wall of the Fallen.
In our offices, we all had emergency mourning uniforms, and we got dressed appropriately. Iverson’s organisation skills for this type of sorrowful event was impeccable and very quick; therefore, two hours after our landing, we were all seated in front of the Wall of the Fallen, where I would be revealing Shiro’s Plaque of Honour, as I was family. I was seated in the front row with the Paladins, Lotor, Allura, Romelle, Coran, Kolivan and Krolia, and I tried so hard to stay strong because of the base’s protocol. Iverson was on stage and started praising Shiro’s accomplishments:
“Commander Takashi Shirogane was a soldier of exception. The youngest lieutenant in the history of the Galaxy Garrison, he broke all the flying records, and became the best fighter pilot we have ever seen in generations. Although he was hard headed when it came to certain decisions,” Iverson looked at Keith for a moment before keeping going, and we all knew it was a reference to the fact that Shiro had insisted and vouched for Keith to enroll at the Garrison years back against all his superior officers’ advices, “his judgement always proved to be right and it is with regrets that we lose today such a great man, a war hero.”
Everyone applauded when Iverson finished his speech, and he called for me to come on stage to unveil the Plaque of Honour and to deliver a speech, as both Shiro’s superior officer and wife. I stood up, and walked slowly to the stage, feeling nauseous and weak. I unveiled Shiro’s Plaque of Honour, noting with sadness that it was placed next to the plaque of Shiro’s late former fiancé, Adam Whitehall, that died years back fighting against Sendak’s Galra faction, the Fire of Purification, as it had invaded Earth while The Paladins, Romelle and I were trying to come back to Earth. Then, tears streaming down my face, I came closer to the microphone and started my speech:
“Like Admiral Iverson said, Takashi Shirogane was a man of exception. His military accomplishments at the Galaxy Garrison inspired many of us to enroll and try to make a difference, myself included, though I never had the pleasure of meeting him in person before he went on the Kerberos mission. When my fellow Defenders of the Universe broke him out of the Garrison, I only followed because I was curious about what they were up to, and also curious to see how my hero was in real life. I had heard a lot of stories about him, and I wanted to see for myself what he really was about. When Queen Allura of New Altea and her royal advisor Coran discovered I was a clandestine passenger in the Castle of Lions, Takashi Shirogane was the one to vouch for me so I could stay and try to help the cause. From then, my safety and happiness were his top priority. Fighting to defend the universe from evil by his side was the greatest privilege and honour I ever had in my entire life. He taught me so much being my teammate, best friend, and later boyfriend. He is the reason why I am the woman and officer I am today. He always encouraged me to do great things. That did not stop once we were back from space seven years ago. Getting to be his wife two years ago was the best thing that happened to me. I loved him so much… he was so much more than a soldier and man of exception, he was my husband and the person I most love. Before his death, he told me not to let his death ruin my life. He told me to move on and find someone to be happy with. The truth is… I don’t think I will ever love someone the way I loved him. He was the only one I ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with. His death is the hardest thing I ever had to see happen. He died a hero, just like he lived a hero. As we were trying to finally end the threat to our peaceful universe, he protected me from getting killed. He took the blast for me. He took the blast knowing he might not survive it, but being assured that doing so would not only save me but also save the universe from another evil and make sure that our efforts to end it were not vain. He was not just a soldier or a man of exception, nor just a best friend and husband of exception, but he was a hero of exception. Thank you.”
Everyone clapped and I dispersed Shiro’s ashes in the cherry blossom tree soil as indicated by his last will paperwork. Then, I started walking back to my seat. My knees were weaker and weaker, and my vision, first blurred from crying, was now fading to black. I felt dizzy and nauseous, and the last thing I saw was Keith standing up to catch me before I fell on the floor. When I opened my eyes next, I was not next to the Wall of the Fallen anymore, but in the Garrison’s hospital wing with its beige ceiling and walls. A machine was beeping next to me to indicate my heartbeat, and I heard Keith’s voice saying:
“Oh my God Victoria thank the ancients you’re awake!”
“What happened…?” I asked with a strangled voice.
“We were about to close the ceremony and you were walking back to your seat when you fainted. We’re all so worried. The doctors ran some tests while you were unconscious, but they haven’t come back to tell me what’s going on.”
“Where… where are the others?”
“Outside, waiting to see you. The doctors said we could only visit you one at a time, which I called bullshit, because the last time we were all in here, they let more than one person inside the room.”
I did not have time to reply that the doctor came in with a folder in his hands. Keith turned to him and asked:
“Doctor! Do you have the results of your tests?”
“Yes, Lieutenant Kogane, I do. Vice Admiral Shirogane, welcome back! How are you feeling?” The doctor responded, and I pulled a face, being reminded that I was a widow by calling me that way, while Keith gave a death glare to the doctor for being tactless.
“Emotionally drained and completely exhausted.” I replied darkly, trying to contain my tears.
“Yes, yes, it is understandable, I am so sorry for your loss, ma’am. But… well, there is another reason why you feel exhausted, I’m afraid.”
“What do you mean?” Keith asked, worried.
“As you know, we ran some tests, most of them being very common to all our patients, to determine whether or not we need to run more specific tests.”
“Yes, and???” Keith insisted.
“The good news is we do not need to run some more tests on you, ma’am. On the other hand… I would usually call this a good news but given what just happened…”
“What is it?” I asked.
“You are pregnant, ma’am.” The doctor declared.
I widened, then tears started to fall down silently as I realised what it meant. I put my hand on my belly, feeling so hurt that I was bearing my late husband’s child and he died not even knowing about it. He would have been so happy, but now, I was a pregnant widow, with no idea of how to go through this.
“I want to congratulate you, but I know… I know it is not exactly a happy news for you, as you… well, you know.” The doctor added with a grim tone.
“Could you please give us some privacy?” Keith asked, seeing the pain in my eyes.
“Of course. I will come back with the discharge papers later.” The doctor nodded before leaving the room.
I was still in shock. Nausea was invading me brutally, I had no clue of what to do. I was pregnant. And Shiro was not there anymore to see it happening.
“Victoria… it’s going to be okay.” Keith said in comfort, taking my hand.
“Okay? How can you… how can you say it’s going to be okay???? I’m pregnant of Takashi’s child… and he… he’s dead! I… I can’t go through this on my own… I can’t raise this child alone… I just can’t.” I cried and he pulled me in a hug.
“You won’t. You won’t be on your own during your pregnancy and beyond. I’ll help you. To go through this and then to raise the child.” He replied softly.
“Keith… no… I can’t ask you to do that—“ I protested, sniffing.
“You don’t have to ask. I want to help. Shiro was like a brother to me, and you’ve always been such a good friend, even when everyone was distant upon the discovery of my Galra heritage. It’s time I pay the both of you back for everything you guys have done for me.” Keith declared, smiling faintly, looking at me in the eye.
I restarted crying, but this time of gratitude, and I pulled him closer for a hug. He held me tight and kissed my forehead.
“Thank you.” I muttered through my sobs.
“Anytime.”
####
Bonus 1
*2 years and seven months later*
Things had changed so much since I found out I was pregnant of Shiro’s child, on the day of his funerals. Just like he promised me, Keith stayed on Earth, moved in with me in my flat and helped me to go through the seven months left of my pregnancy. They had been so hard. Grieving my late husband while being pregnant had been the hardest trial I ever had to face, but I was so grateful for Keith’s presence. I gave birth to a beautiful little girl with gorgeous grey eyes just like her late father’s and ebony hair and full lips like mine. Her name was Thalia Katie Allura Shirogane. Pidge and Lance were to be her godparents, and, since Keith had been there all the way since we found out, he completely had the right to be considered her father as well. He did not want to be called that, though, insisting that she had to know her father died a hero saving her mother’s life — thus by extension her own life since I was already pregnant when Shiro died.
Without Keith by my side, I would never have been able to handle the first two years of my daughter’s existence on my own. Taking care of an infant was so hard, and it cost us so many hours of sleep, but in the end it was so worth it. Thalia was not as difficult as Keith and I thought she would be after watching so many documentaries about parenting. She was such an angel, a beautiful angel, a blessing that brought us closer as we went down the parenting path together, despite the adversities linked to raising a child.
We shared so many good moments during her first year, like the one when she said her first word. We had been trying to make her say mama for weeks, in vain. Thalia was unable to pronounce those syllables. I did not give up though, and neither did Keith. Iverson had given us a very flexible schedule, so when I was not teaching classes, Keith was home with Thalia and vice versa when he had to teach classes, but we always had a lot of hours off during which we could take paperwork home and be able to work while spending time with our daughter. One day, I was cooking dinner after having finished my paperwork, while Keith was playing with her on the kitchen floor. It was so good to hear her cute baby laugh, and Keith was laughing with her. It made me smile, an occurrence that had been rare during the seven months of my pregnancy as I was still grieving Shiro’s death, but started to happen more and more as our little angel lightened our days since she was born. Suddenly, we heard her cute baby voice say:
“Dada!”
“What… what did she just say?” I asked, turning around to look at her.
“Dada!” She repeated, reaching out to Keith with her small hands.
Keith was shocked. Tears pearled in the corner of his eyes, and I was not sure whether he was happy or not to be called that way. I sat down next to them, picked Thalia up to put her on my lap, and said softly:
“Keith, I know you want her to know that Takashi is her father, and she will, we’ll teach her about him; but you’ve earned the right to be her father just as much. Since Kashi died and we found out I was pregnant of Thalia, you’ve been there 24/7, 365 days a year to help me and our little princess. You’ve been there to change her diapers, to feed her at night when she cried out and I was too tired to breastfeed her, you’ve been giving her baths and got her dressed, you’ve made sure she was well taken care of when I was too exhausted to do so, and you’ve been taking care of me when I was too exhausted to take care of myself. You are her father. And she thinks the same, look.”
As I said that, Thalia reached out to Keith with her small hands calling him dada. Keith let his tears stream down his face and finally took her in his arms, playing with her small fingers, and he kissed her forehead.
“Hey princess… I’m your dada after all.” He muttered softly, smiling from ear to ear.
She replied with a lot of mumbo jumbo sounds that were way too cute and played with his hair. Then, as she directed her attention back to her Black Lion plushie on the floor, he put her down and pulled me closer for a hug.
“Thank you, Tori.” He said.
“You’re welcome, Keith.” I said, smiling too.
It was moments like this that brought us closer, and it was easier every day to overcome the pain of losing Shiro. For Thalia’s second birthday, Keith, Thalia and I flew to New Altea where we had all of our friends and families to join us for celebrations in the imperial palace. We had gone there several times a year and Allura and Lotor came to Earth to visit with their son, Alfor, to have playdates with Thalia. Those two were already best friends and it was so tender to see, especially during the birthday celebration. Thalia also could not wait to see Uncle Hunk and Auntie Shay, that she — and we — had not seen for a few months now. She played with them and with Uncle Lance and Auntie Pidge while we were busy gathering all the presents for her so she could open them after we ate the cake. We were in the juniberry field in the imperial garden, as it was a beautiful day. Krolia, Kolivan, Sam and Colleen Holt were there as well, and Coran, Romelle, Ezor, Zethrid and Axca never left the sides of Lotor, Allura and Alfor. The garden party was very nice indeed, but Keith was a bit off, I could tell. We were sitting down a bit far away from the others, as they all wanted to play with Alfor and Thalia, and it was giving us some space to breathe from constant parenting. I asked him:
“Keith, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing… I was just lost in my thoughts.” He replied, but I could tell he was lying.
“Mmmh, sure, and I’m the Queen of England.” I sarcastically answered.
“No need for sarcasm, Sass Tori.” He retorted with a chuckle.
“There it is, this little smile of yours that’s so damn cute.” I said, smiling myself.
Keith looked at me with an intense lilac coloured glance, and then said:
“Do you really find my smile cute?”
“Yes. It always puts me in a good mood when I see you smile. And when I hear you laugh. You’ve helped me to learn how to live again, Keith.”
I put my hand on his cheek and softly caressed it. Keith turned pink and continued, while taking my hands in his:
“About that… look, Victoria, I know how much you care about Shiro and I know you said you didn’t think you could love anyone else after him, but… I, I was wondering if… oh God it doesn’t sound right…”
“What is it?”
“I… oh well, here goes nothing… I love you. I fell in love with you two years ago, but I knew it was too soon after Shiro passed away. I didn’t want to make you feel like I was trying to replace him in your heart and in Thalia’s. That’s why it bugged me so much to hear her first word, dada, directed at me. I don’t mean to take Shiro’s place, he was your husband and the father of your daughter, I totally get that.” Keith declared before looking down.
“Hey… I know you’re not replacing Takashi. My heart broke in a thousand pieces when he died, and yes it is true I thought I would never be able to love anyone again, but the truth is… you’ve been there for me the whole time, since the very moment he died. I will always cherish him in my heart, but… he wanted me to find someone who I could be happy with, and, well, I found you. I love you too Keith.”
He looked back at me, his eyes shining and a smile growing on his illuminated face. I put a hand on his cheek and leaned in, putting my lips gently on his. He kissed me back for a moment before we got interrupted by loud cheers. We split the kiss, as red as a beetroot but smiling big, and saw that the others were coming closer to us, cheering.
“Finally!!!! Your days of mutually pining one another are over!!!” Lance exclaimed joyously.
“Congratulations you two, you deserve to be happy!” Allura said, hugging both Keith and I.
“And look, Thalia’s happy you’re finally acting like a couple of parents!” Pidge said, and Thalia walked to us with the biggest smile.
“Mama loves Dada? And Dada loves Mama?” She asked with her cute little voice.
“Yes my darling, Dada loves Mama!” Keith said, picking her up to make her sit on his lap.
“This birthday party turned out better than expected,” I said, kissing Thalia’s cheeks. “What about you open your presents princess?”
“Yayyyyy!!!” She cheered in response, making all of us awww.
Lance stood up to get the presents from the table and came back on the floor where we were all sitting in circle with Thalia in the center with the presents. Keith and I helped her to unwrap her presents and she gave each and every single one of our friends a kiss as a thank you. She opened her last present, that was from Keith and I, and was utterly happy to discover a Voltron Lego kit, even though she told me later that day:
“I love my Voltron! But the best present is you, Mama, loving Dada!”
“Awww, I’m glad you think so, my princess. And we love you very very very much.”
####
Bonus 2
*two years later*
Again, things changed after that memorable birthday party on New Altea when Keith confessed he loved me. Though I loved him and he loved me, our first few weeks as a couple were a little bit awkward, probably because we were self conscious of the big change of relationship status. But soon we stopped overthinking it and acted just the same, in a more romantic and intimate way. We went on some dates when Pidge and Lance could babysit Thalia, and at home we acted more relaxed than before, feeling more at ease with parenting now that we were officially a couple. It was the best for Thalia anyway, I had a broken home when I was little when my father abandoned me, and nothing was ever the same; so I obviously wanted my daughter to be brought up in a very healthy and loving environment. Now that she was slightly older, she understood that Keith was not her actual father but Shiro was, and she also understood he died before she was born. Keith and I — as well as Lance and Pidge when she spent the day at their house — told her stories about Shiro, and she always asked more about him. It warmed my heart to see that she wanted to know more about her father, but at the same time, it also broke it when I realised Shiro would never live all those wonderful moments with Thalia. I was the most vulnerable about his passing after telling her about him or listening to Keith telling her stories about what an amazing pilot, brother figure and hero Shiro was. I missed him so much, and I always had a little moment during which I isolated myself to cry and allow myself to be sad again. I knew Thalia wondered why I always disappeared after story times, and why she heard me crying a couple times, and she had asked Keith; I also knew he told her I missed Shiro very much, and though I loved Keith and wanted to be with him, I had moments when I needed to remember my love for my late husband.
Nonetheless, the fact that Keith was very understanding with me when those moments happened or when I woke up crying because I had another nightmare replaying Shiro’s death made me love him even more. He never questioned my feelings, nostalgia nor occasional grief, he was never jealous that I loved Shiro still, and I felt so grateful for that. He was just there for me, to comfort me and to remind me that life was worth living and that Shiro would not want me to keep crying over him like I used to during the first few months of mourning during my pregnancy. It strengthened our relationship to be that close and to talk about how we both felt and coped.
One day, Keith planned a date for an afternoon and asked Lance and Pidge if they could babysit Thalia. They loved the child as if she were their own, so they obviously accepted, and they wanted us to have fun, just the two of us. When I asked where we were going, he told me it was a surprise. Intrigued, I played along until we left. Keith was driving his hover bike and we had some picnic in the small trunk. He drove in the desert near the base until we reached the highest point in the canyon, where he parked and helped me down to settle the picnic in front of one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. Everything was just perfect, being with him to look at the sunset was simple and yet so wonderful. At some point, he looked at me and said:
“Victoria, you’ve made me the happiest man in the universe for the past two years. Life hasn’t been easy on us, but we’ve thrived and rose again from the ashes. I know you miss and still love Shiro and you still bear his name even if he is gone. But I also know you love me, and I know I can make you happy. What I’m trying to say is… oh my God I’m terrible at that, please don’t judge me… What I’m trying to say is that I love you and I want you to be mine for the rest of our lives, if you allow me.” He opened a velvet black box with a silver ruby and diamonds ring and presented it to me. “Will you marry me?”
I was in shock. I absolutely did not see it coming. My hands on my mouth, tears pearling to the corner of my eyes, I nodded and managed to say:
He took the ring and slided it on my ring finger, where the indent of my wedding ring was — when Keith and I started dating, I removed it permanently, but I kept it in my bedside table with a box where I kept pictures of my wedding day and my life with Shiro before he died. Keith then sealed our lips in a passionate kiss, that I gave back, and split it when we were breathless. He muttered:
“Oh my God I was so scared you’d say no. I mean it would have been understandable, proposing to you is like trying to steal Shiro’s place in your heart—“
“Keith, shut up. I told you a billionth time that you’re not stealing Takashi’s place. I would never have said yes if I thought so. I love you. You’re not Takashi, and I’m not expecting you to be. Yes, I have a permanent reminder that he’s gone with Thalia since she looks a lot like him, but she’s yourdaughter.You raised her. And I want you for you. Of course I’ll always cherish the memory of Takashi in my heart, but I chose to move on with you. I chose to be yours. I want to be yours. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I want to be your wife. And I’ll take your name when we tie the knot. I won’t be Vice Admiral Victoria Shirogane anymore. From the day we say I do at the altar, I will be Vice Admiral Victoria Kogane. And… if you’re okay with it… I’d like you to adopt Thalia so that she also bears your name. She’s already your daughter, but we’ll be a united family like this.” I cut him off, my hands on his cheek and his neck.
“You… you really want me to do that?” Keith asked, in shock.
“Yes. Stop worrying about my past with Takashi. It’s in the past. A past I will cherish yes. Memories that I will never forget, but you — and Thalia Katie Allura Kogane — are my future.”
“But she needs to remember her realfather…”
“And she will. But Takashi died when she was in the womb. She never knew him. Admittedly, she knows him through us, through our stories, but her father is and always be you. You’re the one she calls Dada. You’re the one she sees when she thinks of her father. You’re the one that she will run to if she’s ever in trouble or if she’s hurt and needs advices and comfort. You are her father, Keith.”
On these words, I kissed him again, trying to make him understand how I felt for him. For the first time in years, I felt like I was free from guilt, regrets, and sorrow. For the first time in years, I was finally able to look up to the future more than to look back at my past. And for the first time in years, I finally felt like I was doing what Shiro made me promise to do on his deathbed: to be happy, to love and to fully live again.
Universities have closed due to the war. May didin’t want to go home, her desire was to become a doctor, unfortunately this would be impossible for her. However she could work as a nurse instead. Helga was just as sad to return home.
-Come with me, we can do something to help,- May said to her.
The two girls rented a room in a very old and run-down pension, and easily found a job. May became a nurse, as she hoped for. Helga’s got a job in a military equipment factory.
Part II under the cut
At first it was not easy for May. At the big hospital she saw the first wounded soldiers returning from war. Many of them did not survive their injuries. Form time to time she asked news about Terrence, or her brother. Nobody seemed to know them.
-Don’t lose hope,- told one of the soldier to her.
Lately however, May was feeling sick and nauseated. She thought it was because of all that work, and because she was worrying about her loved ones. She often found herself throwing up in the toilet. She tried to be strong. Many young boys were fighting and suffering at the front, she had to to her part.
Geralt has reoccurring nightmares since the night he found Jaskier on the balcony, but they haven’t talked about it yet. And Jaskier… maybe he does realise by now what this is about.
[MASTERPOST] For that Anon who wanted something soft in the undercover at lettenhove AU - yessss. But I made it sad, oppsie. Like, in a strange way, they are still at the everything-is-new-and-there-are-many-‘first times’ happening but. It’s not exactly joyful, or a honeymoon phase, so it’s all a bit bittersweet.
Some edits I’ve made of how I headcanon Edric to look (and featuring Emira and Matt too I guess)! I mostly just made these so I could use them on Discord. The first three images are the most recent and the one with his little mustache is a few months old I think!
Notes: Thank you to @loverhymeswith for beta reading for me! And a HUGE thank you to everyone who supported Part 1! The response has been amazing and it really means so incredibly much to me!
Rooster… It had been a faint sound, feeble and hoarse, but he had heard you whisper his name across the coms. You were alive. For now at least. And Rooster was determined to do everything in his power to keep it that way even if that meant risking his own life.
He had seen the look of pain that flashed across your face as the missile that was aimed at his plane suddenly slammed into yours instead, and he had managed to catch a glimpse of your limp body as it hung beneath your parachute after you ejected. As much as he had screamed into the coms for you to turn on your beacon, as much as he kept insisting to the others that you were alive, part of him didn’t believe it. So, the second he saw your location beacon flicker to life on his radar, his heart leaped in his chest.
Now, as he ignored everyone’s incessant calls for him to return to the aircraft carrier, he was circling the area around your beacon. It seemed luck was on his side because, while he was unable to spot where you landed amongst the trees, he was able to find an old service road that had been recently cleared of snow. It wasn’t his best landing, and he knew takeoff would be tricky on the uneven surface, but at least it was something he could work with.
His engine didn’t even have time to sputter to a stop before he was out of the cockpit and jumping to the ground. The signal from your beacon had placed you not too far from here, but as Rooster sprinted towards the location, he saw no sign of you. A million thoughts spiraled through his head. Maybe you had been captured. Maybe the beacon had fallen off your suit and malfunctioned, turning on by itself. Maybe he wasn’t going to reach you in time, wasn’t going to have the chance to tell you….
But just then, he spotted something to his right. You were laying on your side with your back towards him, crumpled at the base of a tree with your parachute tangled in the limbs high above you. As he rushed to your side, he noticed your entire body was shivering but whether it was from the cold, the pain, or some sort of shock, Rooster couldn’t tell. Normally this fact would have worried him, but at the moment, he was just relieved for a sign that you were alive. As carefully as he could, he eased you onto your back, before gasping in alarm.
