Wanda: *Feeling sad*

Y/N: *Trying to cheer Wanda up* I brought you some food!

Y/N: Cheese. It’s milk that you chew.

Y/N: Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.

Y/N:A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth.

Wanda: *Starts to smile and giggles* Thank you.

Y/N: Pfft, don’t thank me.

Wanda: Can you sit with me?

Y/N: *Literally melting from Wanda’s cuteness* Yes!*Clears throat* I mean yes, I would love to.

Wanda: *Cuddles up to Y/N*

Y/N: *Screaming internally while smiling trying not to wake up Wanda*

Tony: Does anyone have an inspirational quote?

Y/N: Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood!

Tony: *Sighs disappointed* I’m too sober for this.

Y/N: There is not enough salt in the world to protect us from the hell you’re trying to unleash.

Wade: Oh Don’t be such a worrywart. The demon and I go way back!

Y/N, to Loki:Hey.

Loki:He-*Screams*

Y/N: Why are you screaming!?

Loki: Why are you in my shower!?

Y/N: Well looks like we both have questions we don’t have answers to.

Y/N: Hey everyone, look! I made paper!

Natasha: How’d you make paper?

Y/N: I saw this “how to make homemade paper” tutorial on youtube and decided I wanted to try to make paper too, and here it is! *Shows everyone the paper they made*

Steve: Wow, that’s awesome, Y/N.

Wanda: Yeah, I like the colors! Can you show me how to make it?

Y/N:Sure-

Tony: Hey, has anyone seen my important mission reports?

Y/N: Uh… No?

Clint: Y/N, how did you make those?

Y/N: Um, I blended paper, that I found laying around, with water…

Tony: May I ask where you got the paper?

Y/N: I may or may not have gotten them from the break room…

Tony:…

Tony: Well I’m not explaining it to Fury.

Hydra agent #1: *Points weapon at Y/N and Bucky* What is your purpose in this base?

Hydra agent #2: Yeah. And no lies.

Y/N: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships.

Y/N: Pick up the rest of the Avengers in Switzerland, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.

Hydra agent #2: I said no lies!

Y/N and Bucky: *Looks at each other and rolls their eyes*

Y/N, to Bucky: You take idiot number one and I’ll take idiot number two.

Bucky: You got it.

*A few moments later*

Y/N: Well that was easy.

Bucky: Yeah, tell me about it.

Y/N: Say, why don’t we go get some pizza before we go pick up the others?

Bucky: Alright! But you’re paying this time.

Y/N: Aw, come on! I paid last time.

Bucky: No, you didn’t. You drove us to get pizza then you “accidentally” left your wallet in the truck, went to go get it and didn’t come back in until I paid.

Y/N: Pfft! I- thought I left it in the truck! *Mumbles* it just so happens I had it in my jacket the whole time…

Bucky: Ya know I have super hearing right?

Y/N:…

Y/N: *Starts running* Last one to the ship pays for pizza!!

Bucky: Dang it! *Starts running behind Y/N*

Steve, to Bucky: Ok, so you have a few options.

Steve: This one *points to Wanda* is adorable, knows how to cook and has awesome powers.

Steve: This one *points to Natasha* can fight really good, has a nice smile and a sweet personality.

Steve: This one *points to Maria* has amazing fighting skills, has bright eyes, makes amazing muffins and can salsa.

Steve: This one *points to Y/N* uh, is clumsy, likes disney, cake and is kinda broken. Yeah, maybe not that one-

Bucky: I want that one.

Steve: Wh- But what about the others?

Bucky: No. I want that one *points to Y/N*

Steve: But the others-

Bucky: I. Want. That. One.

Y/N: *Awkwardly waves*

Bucky: Yup, that’s the one. It’s mine now.

capryuk:

{in a meeting}

Y/N: *Gently taps table*

Pietro: *Taps back*

Natasha: What are they doing?

Wanda: Morse code.

Y/N: *Aggressively taps table*

Pietro: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Clint (in the hospital): I’m doing great! They let me graduate from jello to gelato!

*A spider runs across the room*

Sam: Kill it! Kill it!

Bucky: It’s not hurting anything; it’s fine

Zemo: *kills it*

Bucky: Did you just? Stab? A spider?

Zemo: Sam said to kill it, so I killed it

Strange: *waking up in the middle of the night and happens to be looking at a fold in the blanket at just the right angle*

Strange: Why is there a demon in my bedroom?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEVE!!

Two types of people in the world: professional overthinker, and their dumbass friend who encourages them to make questionable decisions.

Tag yourself, I’m a pro overthinker and @traveleroflife02 is my dumbass partner in chaotic-neutral crime.

Peter Parker: Let’s get a birthday cake.

Loki: But neither of us have birthdays this month.

Peter Parker: The cake won’t know.

Loki: Valid point, let’s get two.

Loki (whispering to Peter Parker): Good job on the mission today Spiderling.

Peter (whispering back): Thank you Mr Loki. Why are we whispering?

Loki (still whispering): I want Thor to think we’re conspiring against him. Please look at him when you reply.

Peter (looking at Thor): This is realy funny Mr Loki.

Loki (also looking at Thor): I’m glad you agree.

Thor, sweating in fear: What are they talking about?

Tony, who overheard them but doesn’t want to ruin their fun:Stabbing

{Thor proceeds to yeet himself out the nearest window, the last sound he heard was Loki’s hysterical laughter}

Peter Parker (holding picture of Loki): Have you seen Mr Loki?

Thor: Did he dissappear with the Tesseract again !?

Peter Parker: Oh no he’s fine, he’s reading over there on the sofa, but I just want people to look at him. Isn’t he awesome? :D

Loki:

Peter Parker: Mr Loki are you ok?

Loki, failing to wipe away his happy tears: I-I’m fine

{Loki, Peter Parker and Tony on an Undercover Mission}

Tony (through coms): I need you two to argue and pretend to hate each other until they leave.

Peter Parker (through coms):What?

Loki (through coms):Why?

Tony (through coms): Do it, it’s for a distraction.

Peter Parker (to Loki):You are too awesome and smart! It’s frustrating! 

Loki:Me?! You are the- You are the most adorable child in the world!

Peter Parker :*pouts*

Tony on a sigh (through coms): Why… why did that offend him?

Loki (through coms): I usually say ‘in the universe’.

Loki’s Sentiment to Peter Parker

{Peter gets injured during a battle and falls into an unawakable coma and Loki feels guilty because he was the indirect cause of it. Peter wakes up in the end.}

_________________________________________

As Loki walks into the the hospital room Peter was sleeping in, his blood nearly froze cold at the sight of Peter Parker’s sleeping and marred face.

Sentiment was not Loki’s forte, but seeing his friend in such a state has awoken rare emotions that he thought his heart was no longer capable of feeling anymore. Emotions he only reserved and last felt when he realised he was the indirect cause of his mother’s death.

Slowly he approaches the bed and stands next to the young boy’s face, as he builds up the courage to say what was needed.

Loki: “I will not ask your forgiveness, because what I have done to you is unforgivable.

I was so lost in hatred and revenge that I have caused harm to you. (Loki’s calm demeanour starts to break)

Sweet Spiderchild, you stole what was left of my cold dead heart. (tears start falling from Loki’s eyes)

And now I have lost you forever. (Loki caresses Peter’s bruised forehead)

I swear, no harm will come to you as long as I live. (Loki’s voice starts to crack)

And not a day shall pass that I don’t miss your sweet smile. (Loki’s feels his heart breaking as he only hears deafening silence instead of Peter’s excited voice) Goodbye little Spiderling.”

Having said what he needed to say Loki places a soft farewell kiss on Peter’s forhead. Just as he turns to walks away, Loki hears a soft voice calling him from the bed.

Peter: “Hello, Mr Loki”

Frozen, Loki turns back. He saw Peter eyes open and alive, a happy smile gracing his lips as his eyes made contact with Loki’s. The sight was almost too much for Loki to handle.

Loki: “Hello Peter”

No other words are needed to be said as they both shared a heart warming embrace, this time with tears of happiness being shed.

________________________________________

Notes: Watching, Maleficent (2014), I picture Loki and Peter Parker’s relationship is similar to Maleficent and Aurora.

Loki Gives Peter Parker a Makeover

{Peter thinks that Loki is the most fashionable person he knows goes to him for advice on what to wear to an Avengers formal party. Loki being a diva went overboard and the Avengers ended up wondering how on earth did Peter end up looking like a mini version of Loki.}_________________________________________

Bonus: {At the Party}

Random Jerk (to Peter): Why are you dressed like that?

Peter(innocently): Like what?

Random Jerk: Like your going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like some one died?

Loki(the one who helped dressed Peter):Wait

Loki and Peter Parker’s Trip to the Carnival

{Peter tries to knock over a space ship in a carnival booth to win a prize but fails because the game is rigged}

Loki: What was that? He hit that ship. I saw it with my own eyes.

Jerk Vendor: Let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it’s not knocked over? Do you know what that means, wizard-man? It means you don’t get the prize!

Loki (seething): Okay, my turn.

{Loki charges up his scepter into a giant canon and blasts the booth to oblivion}

Loki: Knocked over!

{Loki hands Peter the stuffed bear he won for him}

Peter: Oh my gosh Mr Loki that was so awesome! You were all green and glowing and blew the whole the thing up!

Loki(smug, ruffles Peter’s hair): Come on little Spiderling, let’s go destroy all the blasted cheating games in this carnival!

Peter: Yeah! Woo Hoo! Let’s go!

{And that’s why the Avengers never allowed Peter and Loki to go to the carnival without Thor ever again}