white-throated-packrat:

ithilienne:

tjwock:

valeria2067:

pati79:

swingsetindecember:

singelisilverslippers:

alyharania:

singelisilverslippers:

ifeelbetterer:

galwednesday:

afearsomecritter:

peterssquill:

museum curator, watching steve waltz into the smithsonian, the memory of having the stolen cap america authentic howling commando era uniform returned dirty and ridden with bullet holes still fresh in their mind: hide the VALUABLES

steve, reaching over the rope to poke at something on display: it’s my goddamn stuff???

#I work with enough  museum curators to be able to accurately picture their looks of absolute dead-eyed horror#at this meat-handed man pawing through the objects they’ve spent decades preserving#BUT ALSO IT’S HIS GODDAMN STUFF#so the mental image of the incredibly stiff and stilted surface-level polite conversation Steve would have with Smithsonian staff#both of them vibrating with indignation but unable to fully express it for PR reasons#is an endless source of entertainment for me via galwedenesday

#ah yes#the joys of attempting to figure out how to deaccession a bunch of shit#that previously belonged in the ‘no living claims’ category#and has for DECADES#what i would not give to see that paper trail tho#like was everything of Steve’s now owned by the Army upon being declared KIA and they donated it to the Smithsonian or what#MINUTIAE OF MUSEUM WORK IN THE MCU I WANT TO KNOW DAMMIT#like the museum has HAD to have dealt with fraudulent claims before so they’d have everything but ‘The Actual Original Owner’ showing up#locked down#okay but also#how long have they had this shit#when was any of this declassified via afearsomecritter

I’M SAYIN’, every single level of management at the Smithsonian must have had an extensively well-documented migraine after dealing with the colossal shitshow raised by such thrilling items as “sock (woolen)” pulled from the pack of one “Rogers, Steve G., 1918 - 1945 lol whoops he’s back″

#okay but where is the fic#where is the story about a beleaguered smithsonian curator named michelle who one day realizes she has ’S. Rogers’ on her schedule#which was made after her boss had a screaming match with somebody named Carlson or Coulson or Colton or something#which happened after that reaaaaaaal embarrassing ‘break-in’ which is in quotes#because fucking KYLE just LET Rogers IN#and when very nicely asked why the fuck he did that KYLE#said ‘i mean he’s captain america right? it’s his stuff isn’t it??’#and michelle’s boss went off to murder someone#and michelle just sighed and had josh bring kyle some coffee#and explained to kyle that no she really did have to fire him#he’s been a great security guard but he literally had one job to do#but then the day AFTER that#fucking KYLE comes waltzing back in with a fucking LETTER#from fucking CAPTAIN AMERICA#asking if ms. michelle onadiche could see her way to reinstating FUCKING KYLE#in exchange for ‘the property belonging to S. Rogers and housed at the Smithsonian Museum for purposes of edification to the public#and michelle very carefully puts her head on the desk and wonders who taught Steve Rogers to use ‘ms’ so meanly#anyway I’m just saying#avengers shmavengers (tags by @leupagus)


#SO LIKE HERE’S THE FUN THING
  #the smithsonian doesn’t deaccession A N Y T H I N G  #they have things that are rotting to pieces and old plastic destroying itself and RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL that any SANE MUSEUM would have  #GOTTEN THE FUCK OUT OF THERE  #but because it’s PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES GUMMINT due to it being the national museum (system thing)  #you can’t throw away so much as a paperclip#if it’s been accessioned  #(there’s a paperclip collection at american history don’t @ me)#(american history is america’s junk drawer it’s hell on earth)  #so steve would be like ‘hey that’s my stuff’ and the smithsonian would start S W E A T I N G  B U L L E T S  #because deaccessioning captain america’s personal belongings? is basically steve rogers stealing government property  #which he does! all the time! #but they aren’t supposed to let him do that  #and the paperwork is going to be: the worst  #and possibly require an act of congress  #and also FINDING IT IN AMERICAN HISTORY OOOOOH MY GOD like three years after  #THE COLLECTIONS CALAMITY WE DO NOT SPEAK OF (but that we all got published for thank fuck we got something out of it)  #someone finds like a stash of photos and a map and a few trinkets in a cabinet  #that had gotten lost in collection  #‘we have to tell him!’ says the intern who found it  #so earnest! so young! so in grad school!  #‘we absolutely the fuck do not’ hisses michelle who will HAPPILY live out the rest of her days if steven fucking rogers NEVER  #DARKENS HER DOOR AGAIN #the intern squeals obviously  #michelle fantasizes about murdering her and also captain america throughout the entire process and it almost gets her through  #the textile conservator who initially had to process the captain america suit after he ‘returned’ it the first time still hisses angrily at  #*steve like a cat whenever he walks by  #…this got away from me (via@alyharania)

like i said in my initial reblog… all the people building stories out of this make me laugh with delight, but smithsonian & dc museum people adding their tags give me LIFE

… also steven grant rogers would be KIND and COURTEOUS to the front-line museum staff and not ask them stupid questions and you will pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch

oh steven grant rogers is KIND and POLITE and CONSIDERATE to front-line museum staff, he will politely move himself to the side so he doesn’t cause traffic issues if he gets recognized and a couple kids want pictures, he apologizes to security for causing a scene (he didn’t mean to! he thought his baseball cap disguise would work, bless him). he returns his maps (sweet and so unnecessary but then one of the volunteers can take a map captain america used and will probably sign for them back to their grandkids so that’s nice). the docents LOVE him; he’s both a Nice Young Man and also from Back in Their Day.

the collections and conservation staff however have sworn a blood oath of pure vengeance against him and nothing he ever does will change their minds. the textile conservator (we’ll call her lorraine) who had to restore the old captain america suit spent THREE YEARS OF HER LIFE on that stupid thing and it’s still too unstable to ever exhibit again. lorraine went through FIVE INTERNS, two of whom CRIED ON HER. she had to spend a fourth year making a replica because everyone was writing their representatives that the captain america suit wasn’t on display and they MADE HER DO IT.

like if steve thought any debrief in wwii he ever had sucked lol try lorraine, who has given up trying to catalogue what the fuck happened to that piece of shit suit and finally tracked down his cell phone number after six months of this hell project out of sheer bloody mindness and desperation and tricks him into her office through a series of absolute goddamn lies about idk public programming or some shit that steve might actually care about and then corners him and makes him give her a play by play of what, exactly, the fuck he did to that suit.

cuz, okay, listen. blah blah save the world blah blah, but steven grant rogers* stole a priceless museum artifact, bled on it, set it on fire, dropped it into the potomac, dragged it (WHILE WET) through river mud and god knows how many plants and bugs and microbes, got melting plastic and metal and shrapnel and other people’s body juices and skin and hair embedded in it–the only reason he lives is because he can give the full and accurate account of what the fuck he did to it and answer questions of how the fuck it can be slightly, slightly unfucked. not saved! not made to look like it was! certainly not able to be put on a mannequin and exhibited again! but like she can get some more of the mud and that chunk of charred plastic out maybe. otherwise, lorraine would have murdered that dumb bitch in a fit of justifiable rage, and no amount of charming “sorry ma’am”s would fucking save him.

#I LOVE STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WITH ALL MY HEART BUT IF I WAS THE MYTHIC LORRAINE#(who doesn’t exist because american history hates their costume and textile collection lolololol)#I WOULD STRANGLE STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WITH MY MEASURING TAPE AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL#*also yes i realize bucky barnes; hydra; etc. where also responsible for What The Fuck Happened To That Suit but steven grant rogers#would take responsibility for what happened to it#it’s not FAIR but also he’s a martyr#(the replica suit goes on display four years later and a scruffy guy with one arm and long hair is at the opening reception#kinda squinting at it#lorraine has already had like two cocktails because SHE’S DONE MOTHERFUCKERS NEW PROJECTS 4 HER#and he seems kinda nice#until she sees steve fucking rogers walk up to him#and overhears one arm dude say ‘didn’t i shoot you in that thing?’#she doesn’t get to hear steve explain that ‘ms. lorraine made a replica’ and ‘she’s brilliant’ and kind of scary#‘she said it wasn’t safe to put the old one on display so she made a new one’#because a red mist of rage has descended over her eyes#because she knows now who was responsible for the fucking bullet holes and all that FUCKING crusted blood and all that FUCKING MUD#her current intern#who is VERY excited about the new project they have preparing all the peggy carter mannequins for the SHIELD exhibit in three years#and is pretty sure they aren’t going to be able to intern if lorraine gets arrested#steers her back outside the gallery and back to the drinks and appetizers#michelle pats the new intern on the arm#‘you’ll go far young padawan’ she says and makes murder eyes at a polite looking steve rogers#who detours to chat with a docent instead) (via@alyharania)

that’s it imma marry this post

imagine bucky barnes stealing his jacket back. and making adjustments for his new arm 

IMAGINE THAT LORRAINE 

Omg this post is the best that has ever happened to me during a subway ride!

I don’t even go here, and I love this post

As a museum worker it actually rather baffles me that his things ended up in the Smithsonian, because the US Forces actually have a SHIT TON of their own museums and having dealt with those Mo Go’s on both sides of the conversation I just cannot envision them giving it up.

I CAN see each of those museums trying to argue for custody though. Nation museum of health and medicine? Steve was a science experiment in healthy soldering it totally belongs to us! Marine Corps museum? Steve was the first Marine OBViously give it here! NAW FUCK YALL IT BELONGS IN THE ARMY MUSEUM. WHICH ONE? WHAT DO YOU CARE GIVE IT HERE.

So like. Clearly the Commandos quietly split Steve’s things up amongst their own and smuggled them home. As they died, they sent their own belongings along to each other, until only one was left with all of these trunks of memories and memorabilia and loss, and he’s gotta be thinking, fuck the army what has it ever done for us or Steve and then he wills it to the National Museum of American History, whose PR officer has a freaking field day and the advancement team only sees dollar signs and meanwhile the conservatives are bemoaning the fact that these priceless treasures have been sitting all wadded up in a trunk being subjected to horrible humidity and temperature fluctuations and don’t get me STARTED on the IPM-

Anyway that’s why they’re at the Smithsonian and not one of the Armed Forces museums.

can confirm that the curators would be polite, even while grinding their teeth internally, but Superman’s heat vision would have nothing on the murdergazes of the objects and paper and textile conservators when Steve was in the room. ESPECIALLY after Steve wheedled a donation from Tony in the amount of Sizable Percentage of Annual Funding to benefit the museum and endow Lorraine’s position.

Seriously, the NMAH might not let him into the Suitland pods at all. I mean, the museum on the Mall looks big, but the lion’s share of storage if off-site because the Smithsonian has so much stuff

Also, the Captain America exhibit was at Air & Space for some reason (I think Winter Soldier might have been filmed when NMAH was actually closed for renovations), which is another level for Steve to fight through – the Smithsonian is a lot of different museums, and it’s likely that his stuff is split between different collections. Good luck finding anything not actually on display if the curators want you to get lost – the non-exhibit spaces in the buildings are rabbit warrens because some of the building are over a century old and repeated additions have made them quirky to navigate.

spideysrogers:drunkromanogers: Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   interviewer: would you say you’re independent? sspideysrogers:drunkromanogers: Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   interviewer: would you say you’re independent? sspideysrogers:drunkromanogers: Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   interviewer: would you say you’re independent? sspideysrogers:drunkromanogers: Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   interviewer: would you say you’re independent? sspideysrogers:drunkromanogers: Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   interviewer: would you say you’re independent? s

spideysrogers:

drunkromanogers:

Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

interviewer: would you say you’re independent?

steve: *looks to natasha*

natasha: *nods*

steve: yes


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the-faultofdaedalus:

the-faultofdaedalus:

mandywondering:

the-faultofdaedalus:

the-faultofdaedalus:

i love taking the idea of “the serum gave steve better muscles and better senses” and just pushing it just that little bit into uncanny valley territory. he can see very slightly into the ultravioliet and infared spectra, moves/thinks quicker than normal people (hes conciously slowing himself down a LOT bc he knows it freaks people out) and is just. really strong. all of him is very strong. he can open a can of beans with a fingernail. 

superhuman as in “above and a little too the left of 100% human and not always in the good way”

At first, Steve didn’t notice that he could see too much, more than most people could. Before the serum, he’d been a bit colourblind, so how could he tell which new colours he was meant to see, and which he wasn’t?

Seeing in the infrared, he can finally understand what people mean when they describe someone as “glowing”. Nobody ever really explained that it’s a metaphor.

Birds and flowers are so colourful now! He can’t quite get the colours all down on paper when he draws, and people just think he’s being a bit fanciful with the patterns he gives them.

The best thing is that of COURSE he wouldn’t realize!! He’s been colourblind for most of his life!!!!!

kajsdkl;fjasdf@lbibliophile-mcu  this is the most hilarious thing. local man gains superpowers, genuinely does not realize he has superpowers because he’s spent most of his life in various states of “literally dying” 

whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’whatelsecanwedonow: That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?We’

whatelsecanwedonow:

That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?
We’re allfollowing him.


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ironmandeficiency:

thorfanficwriter:

buckybarneshairpullingkink:

marvelousinsider:

EVERYBODY stop whatever the fuck you’re doing.. and watch this masterpiece

HOLY SHIT THIS IS INSANE

AWESOME

I AM WATCHING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS

thenasasoldier:

fuddlewuddle:

Anyone else wanna talk about the fact that Steve Rogers, Captain America himself; before hearing Sam in his comms, without knowing all the dusted had returned and were going to help fight, was going to fight against Thanos and his whole army, by himself, with a broken shield. Like some sort of IDIOT.

Bucky Barnes ghostwrote this post

shakescene:

shakescene:

captain america isn’t defined by super serum, or by the shield, or even by the nature of your morality. captain america is whoever bucky barnes is gay for at any given time.

self love

wingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plawingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plawingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plawingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plawingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plawingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plawingedcorgi: and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a pla

wingedcorgi:

and bucky thought he would never see anything better than “star-spangled man with a plan”


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flootzavut:

tygermama:

tonystark5ever:

avengersonna:

i spit out my soda

That bird’s name is Sam

YUSSSS

propertyofpoeandbucky:atbuckybarnes: 100 year old men have seen far too much, are no longer fazed.propertyofpoeandbucky:atbuckybarnes: 100 year old men have seen far too much, are no longer fazed.propertyofpoeandbucky:atbuckybarnes: 100 year old men have seen far too much, are no longer fazed.propertyofpoeandbucky:atbuckybarnes: 100 year old men have seen far too much, are no longer fazed.

propertyofpoeandbucky:

atbuckybarnes:

100 year old men have seen far too much, are no longer fazed.

Steve and Bucky be like:


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tcookies:

I just noticed that in the scene where the boys are mourning Nat at the lake and Clint is yelling at Thor, Steve is just sitting there with actual tears streaming down his cheeks. It’s this part from the trailer that they cut down a few seconds in the film:

He is full on crying. We’ve only ever seen Steve cry one other time and for Peggy’s funeral. He just lost a best friend and partner. Someone who had stuck by him through thick and thin when he didn’t have anyone else (Bucky, the team, etc.). Someone who cracked jokes with him, helped him take care of and lead their surrogate family. They comforted each other in their darkest hours. Hell, probably cooked each other dinner when the other person was too exhausted.

And the last thing Nat ever said to Steve was: “See you in a minute”

And she was smiling with excitement, giddy to do something way outside her pay grade. She got to go on space adventures and time-traveling with Steve and her family. And Steve smiles back at her joke, fully expecting to return with Nat standing beside him once again.

Because she was always there at his side, from the very beginning he got out of the ice.

And this here is the face of a man who realizes his longtime partner post-ice thaw is now gone. His friend… his surrogate family when he had none other…

He looks at the spot where Nat had been standing right beside him just earlier… where she had promised to see him in a minute… and Steve knows that the person who stood beside him all these years… is gone for good.

And remember their conversation at the beginning of the film?

Steve: “I think we both need to get a life.”

Nat: “You first.”

And he does.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: shop5: Pride Steve 2019 Redraw – [Etsy]  <3 When Captain America thro

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

shop5:

Pride Steve 2019 Redraw – [Etsy

<3 When Captain America throws his mighty shield

All those who oppose LGBTQIA rights must yield <3


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alyharania:

amazonqueendianaprince:

maybetwice:

amazonqueendianaprince:

i am forever bitter that the mcu had steve rogers living in dupont fucking circle and not once had him complain about the dc metro

talk about unrealistic

he lived in Dupont he didnt need to take the metro the red line doesnt go anywhere useful for him

the triskelion right across the river tho? red line to metro center and then blue line to the pentagon. or he could power-walk to farragut west.

the fact that steven grant rogers never once, not once, complained about the red line and transitioned to comparing the metro to the NYC subway system with a blend of wistful longing and true disgust in his voice is character assassination.

asgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit forasgardodinsons:steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit for

asgardodinsons:

steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit for


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