I didn’t want to make the message ace-specific because I wanted to make a point of how all of the above include aspec people, but I tried to use an ace colour palette for the background :) I also think the message applies especially (even if not exclusively) to the ace community!
Hope you like these
@rockmarina possibly “all labels were made up at one point, stop being an ass”?
I played around with the concept a bit, I hope you like it anyway!
I feel like this also needs to be said:
[ID:
Image 1: (in white text, on a background of rainbow watercolors) Gatekeeping hurts queer people who are questioning.
Image 2: (in white text, on a background of rainbow paint strokes) Gatekeeping hurts more queer people than it protects.
Image 3: (in white text, on a background of pastel watercolors) How about you let people question their gender and sexuality in peace.
Image 4: (in white text, on a photo of the rainbow pride flag flying in a blue sky) People don’t owe you a chronicle of their life experiences and feelings for you to decide whether they belong in their own community.
Image 5: (in white text, on a marbled pink background) I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are not the queer police.
Image 6: (in white text, on a background of multicolored textile) Stop siding with our oppressors.
Image 7: (in white text, on a photo of pieces of chalk arranged in a rainbow on asphalt) Not every queer person’s experiences need to be like yours.
Image 8: (in white text, on a background of shiny, rainbow chunks of metal (?)) Mind your own damn business.
Image 9: (in white text, on a mottled black & rainbow background) Let people change labels.
Image 10: (in white text, on a photo of a full moon in a dark sky) There’s no such thing as not being queer enough.
Image 11: (in white text, on a background of paint strokes in pink, white, magenta, purple and dark blue, the colors of the genderfluid pride flag) Vocabulary is designed to be constantly reinvented as human societies evolve, and labels aren’t the exception.
Image 12: (in white text, on a background of pink, purple, and turquoise) Gatekeeping is a product of privilege.
[Image description: (in white text, over a black background with trees decorated with multi-colored lights) Queer people don’t have to make themselves palatable to deserve respect. End ID]
[Image description: (in white text, over a wooden background with curved boards the colours of the rainbow) It’s okay to use a label even if it doesn’t fit perfectly. End ID]
…you know what, I think the message of this post really boils down to this:
[ID: (in white text, over a black background with striking rainbow lights) gatekeepers are nothing but bullies. End ID]
And I’m really glad this post has helped so many people feel a bit less alone in their struggles. Bullies have made a LOT of damage in this community—have made so many of us feel like impostors, like trenders, like maybe we were making up the things we were feeling—and it makes me so happy we’re all pushing back against their hateful, narrow-minded, queerphobic rhetoric.
Keep it up, everyone
Happy pride month to the post that marked the beginning of my journey to overcoming internalised queerphobia
It’s good practice to ask people for their pronouns (everyone, not just androgynous or gnc people) but if you can’t then defaulting to singular they/them is totally fine.
They/them is a gender neutral pronoun, meaning it can apply to all genders. We all use it in everyday situations, even for men and women (ex. “My friend Sam is coming over” “oh have I met them?”). It isn’t a pronoun just for nonbinary people, that’s the whole point. The whole idea is that it had no ties to any one gender (gender=/= pronouns but that’s a different post).
Of course, if someone tells you their pronouns then it would be misgendering to continue to use they/them. In fact, often this is done to binary trans people to disrespect their gender in a seemingly “woke” way.
But before you know for sure it is often preferred over just guessing because you can often be wrong, use a pronoun that may have a societal tie to a specific gender, and cause dysphoria.
