#hand turkey

PREMISE: While you’re sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner, Yancey Thanks is getting down to business. He’s a detective with a highly specialized set of skills and he only works one day a year: Thanksgiving. When a turkey is stolen right out of the oven, a family is being menaced by a gang of cranberry bootleggers, or a severed head is discovered in a Macy’s Parade float, don’t call the Butterball Hotline–Call Yancey Thanks: Thanksgiving Detective.

CHARACTERS: Yancey Thanks has always been thankful for two things: Thanksgiving and criminology. That’s why he’s dedicated his life to studying and solving Thanksgiving-related crimes. Sadly, because he works so hard saving other people’s Thanksgivings, Thanks has been unable to celebrate the holiday himself in over twenty years. Many have suggested that he could simply celebrate the day after, but he has too much goddamn respect for the sanctity of Thanksgiving to ever do that.

NOTABLE EPISODE: Two adorable children have disappeared from the kids’ table, and the kidnappers have just one demand: they want to know the secret ingredient in Grandma’s stuffing. Grandma refuses to play ball, so the family calls in Yancey. The only clue is a hand turkey drawn on the ransom note, but that’s no problem for Thanks, who wrote his doctoral thesis on forensic hand turkey analysis. He determines that the culprit is Aunt Sally, whose stuffing always turns out dry and flavorless. It turns out the kids were in the den the whole time, not making a peep because Aunt Sally told them they could play as much Xbox as they wanted (S25.E01—“The Proof is in the Stuffing”).

CATCHPHRASE: “No need to thank me.”

TRIVIA/MISCELLANY: The series only aired one hour-long episode each year–on Thanksgiving, naturally.