#gelada

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Geladas are sort of baboons. They’re the only monkeys that are full on grazers, so why are theGeladas are sort of baboons. They’re the only monkeys that are full on grazers, so why are theGeladas are sort of baboons. They’re the only monkeys that are full on grazers, so why are the

Geladas are sort of baboons. They’re the only monkeys that are full on grazers, so why are they so scary looking? God damn it gelada you’re a motherfucking vegetarian. STOP TERRIFYING ME. But their diet is one of the reasons they got terrifying in the first place. Just like how humans have boobies to make up for the fact that you can’t see their butts too good, geladas have graphic and disturbing bright red, hairless, hourglass shaped markings on their chests. That’s because they just scoot around on their butts eating grass all the time, and there’s no point in having a swollen red sexual characteristic where no one can see it. But the worst thing about them is that god awful LIP FLIP thing they do where they turn their fucking faces inside out. Jesus fucking Christ! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO EXIST? I wish I was DEAD.


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The Bleeding-heart Monkey “The gelada is often referred to as the gelada baboon and the bleeding-hea

The Bleeding-heart Monkey

“The gelada is often referred to as the gelada baboon and the bleeding-heart baboon but is not a true baboon. These brown and grey primates are Old World monkeys that do bear some similarities to baboons. Twice the size of females, males are as big as a large dog and are equipped with vampiric canines, which they often bare at each other as a display of dominance or aggression. Both sexes have large, fluffy manes, as well as distinct, hourglass-shaped, bald patches of skin on their chests. They also have the most opposable index fingers and thumbs than any other primate.”

African Wildlife Foundation / Gelada


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The gelada has two threat displays: it raises its eyebrows to display the pink skin underneath, and The gelada has two threat displays: it raises its eyebrows to display the pink skin underneath, and

The gelada has two threat displays: it raises its eyebrows to display the pink skin underneath, and it pulls its lip over its face to turn itself into a terrifying long-toothed demon.

Yeah, I’d lead with the lip thing, mate. 

Geladas are very odd monkeys. Close relatives of baboons, they live only in Ethiopian mountains, they’re covered in shaggy yellow hair, and they’re the only monkey that primarily eats grass. They are like a cross between a cow, Animal from the Muppets, and your nightmares.

Image sources: ArkiveandScenicreflections


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