I am leaving subway soon and I often wonder to myself whether or not confessionsofasandwichartist is still going to reblog me when I’m no longer young and a sandwich artist
If you love ads, then this post is not for you. If you love Tumblr but hate ads and want the one to continue without having to endure the other, then this post is literally for you. Hello, you.
As of today, you can set up ad-free browsing on your personal desktop computer, from anywhere in the world, and then enjoy the same effervescent Tumblr you know and love (yes, including mobile) without the interruption of ads. Scroll away.
Some caveats:
It’s $4.99 for a month of pure, unadulterated nonsense.
If you like a discount, you can get 33% off (that’s four months for free) at $39.99 for a whole year. Imagine.
This is opt-in. You don’t have to do this. We won’t make you.
How do you opt in?
Easy! Just go to your Account Settings on desktop and hit “Go Ad-Free.” From there, you can choose to pay monthly or yearly:
And that’s it! You’ll be able to enjoy your favorite blogs and posts without any pesky ads getting in the way.
That’s all for now, Tumblr. Back to your blorbos.
So, just for the people who don’t understand.
This Is A Good Thing, mainly because it proves how tumblr is so unprofitable. So, all of you complaining about ads, well, the ads keep the site running. they pay for the hosting, the domains, every staff’s paycheck, all of the networking, the computers storing the data… Everything.
So, if you don’t want ads, they offer you an alternative and you spit in their face? Well, I’m sorry, but unless you want to go non profit and have donation drives every few months/ year, then they have to do something like this to keep the site running.
I don’t mind ads, sometimes they’re hilarious. But if they get too bad, maybe I’ll chip in.
Honestly, you all bitching about this are like the customers at work (Starbucks) who order trenta iced drinks with no ice and then cups of ice all on the side to get free drinks. You all want them to give up their time and effort at their job, but then you don’t want to pay for it.
That’s not how it works. If I was expected to sling coffees for free, I’d quit. Just sayin.
I don’t care that Dan Akroyd said it on TV in 1977. I would prefer it if you did not say “Jane, you ignorant slut,” all the goddamn time, ESPECIALLY when you are talking about one of our senior employees, who happens to be NAMED JANE, and who is neither of those things.
Seriously. I get word association, okay, and I get that you don’t mean our Jane when you say it, but GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I have asked you at LEAST twice to please not say that phrase at work anymore. Frankly, I think it’s a little weird that I had to ask a THIRD time.
But no. NO. You will NOT convince me that “it’s fine” because it’s “part of our cultural heritage as Americans." FUCK YOU. I will not apologize for correcting you, nor will I apologize for raising my voice to tell you that what it actually is, is demeaning and offensive. Just like a lot of the things you say that are chauvinist or misogynistic or disrespectful or a charming blend of all of the above, which I have repeatedly asked you to stop saying. I know you think it’s funny. It is not.
You look like you are on your way to get a pumpkin spice latte with the rest of your basic bitch friends, in your UGGs. But at least it is that new sweater. @tom-hiddlestons-journal
Hi babies! To celebrate the first year anniversary of this blog I thought about making a raffle! On April 11th I posted for the very first time my first Law fic! I can’t believe it’s been a year already! Can you believe it?
Thanks to this blog I found amazing friends and the happiness of being able to express the many feels I had inside my heart. This place makes me happy, this place helped me to live, this place was the sun I needed during the darkest of the nights.
Thank you so much to all of you! I love you from the deepest place of my heart! ~
So, about the raffle;
I will be giving away a totalfree comissionlike I did for the 1.5k followers milestone! nsfw/sfw with any character, ship or self insert!
Rules:
Reblog this post for one chance
This is totally optional and not needed, but if you want you could add 2 chances by buying me ako-fi(1 usd each)
Please be sure to follow me
That’s it!
The raffle begins the moment this post is up until April 10th 22:00hs (BsAs GMT-3)
The winner will be tagged in a post. In case the person doesn’t claim the prize during the next 48hs, the second place will automatically be the winner.
I’ll post a video proof of me choosing the winner with a webpage that randomly picks a winner from a list you can enter (https://www.sortea2.com/)
The Szayel Compendium (Part 1 - Physical Appearance)
FULL NAME Szayelaporro Granz
PREFERRED NAME/NICKNAME Szayel as a nickname at most times. The Octava works too in formal situations.
APPEARANCE. Because he’s the pink gremlin who lives in my head, I constantly forget how attractive he is.
He looks so sweet and helpful (They always use this pose for him in BBS)
FACECLAIM: [Do you have a faceclaim for your character?] We already know what he looks like. Szayel is obsessed with what he looks like. Gods I have the most vain muses ever.
SEX: [Is their anatomy male, female, or other? Was this always the case?] (Before anyone gets upset—gender identity is talked about in a different post. This day is just talking about his physical body rather than his identities.) He’s phenotypically ‘male’ for the most part in his unreleased form, but as a hollow soul that is by its very nature compound, he’s a mix of male and female hollows, with a great deal more female hollows within him than male. In his released forms it gets complicated, however, and there are universes and situations where he has auxiliary organs that function as male and female reproductive organs, and some where he literally has both sets of reproductive organs and not just the ability to do certain things in spirit. I’ll describe certain parts of this later in this post, that are based on canonical and supplementary materials.
His plus/human self is AMAB, without any ambiguity that would suggest being intersex, and no coercive or voluntary surgeries were ever done in his human life. Szayel’s hollow forms likewise are difficult to explain that way, but the arrancar have never been placed on a binary interpretation for phenotypes of apparent sex. He’s just Szayel, and it’s not really relevant as he’s not human. The one thing we do know is that he does have a penis, lol, regardless of anything else he might have but Kubo hasn’t told us. :)
HEIGHT: [how tall/short are they?] Szayel is 6’1’’
WEIGHT: [how heavy/light are they?] He’s roughly 147 lbs…though it will fluctuate to as low as 140 when he’s researching and not paying attention to whether he’s hungry or not.
BUILD: [Thin? Fat? Bulky? Muscular? Toned? etc] He’s very thin and light-boned, but he’s not devoid of muscle. Instead, he has a lean look to him, more like a male catwalk model. He tends to look a bit fragile, though this is not exactly true. He’s just like any other arrancar in that department, having superhuman strength, agility, and energy.
HAIR: [describe their hair, is it long or short? Soft or course? Do they style it a certain way? Do they dye it?] His hair is longish for a man, brushing his shoulders, but it’s pink and very soft. Mostly he just styles it in the parts he puts in and uses a very light hold mousse to keep it in place. As a human though, I HC that his hair was red.
SKIN: [What colour is their skin? Is it rough or smooth? Is it soft or hard?] His skin is relatively pale, with a bit of a cooler neutral cast. In release, he has his estigma which go over his eye, and color his lips. But, he *does*also have some extra colors below the belt in release too.
But one of the more interesting HC’s I have about his skin deals with his hierro. Szayel’s hierro works as a non-Newtonian fluid. If you strike it with a hard force, it hardens in return. But if you touch him gently, it’s very soft and pliable. Hence the very long, slow, soft way that Mayuri impaled him…was essentially the only way to do it. He’s a fighter who dies with a lover’s touch, which suits him well.
EYES: [What colour are their eyes? Do they have a distinctive sparkle or do they look kind of dull and tired? Long or short eyelashes? Eye bags? Wrinkles? Hooded lids?] He has golden, somewhat amber eyes, much like you see in wildtype hollows. It seems to be rare for those evolved into Arrancar, so I’ve always HC’d that because he wasn’t formed with the hougyoku, his feralness ended up dictating his final color, rather than fully reverting back to how he looked as a plus. His eyes are deeply expressive, and its easy to see how he feels. They sparkle with joy, flash with anger, and dull with regret. He wears mascara to darken his already somewhat long lashes, and wears just a barest bit of makeup to enhance rather than cover, though there are times that he enjoys putting on a full face of makeup. I HC that when he was human/a plus, his eyes were actually green.
MOUTH: [Big mouth or small? Plump lips or thin lips? Perfect white teeth or crooked, gappy ones?] His mouth is on the larger side, but his lips are rather thin compared to it. He has perfect white teeth that are actually quite sharp. His tongue is long and somewhat prehensile, though not quite as much as most animals formed that way.
NOSE: [Big or little? Pointy or bulbous? Huge, cavernous nostrils or teeny little ones?] His nose is relatively unobtrusive. The lines are sharp, but the tip and nostril are softly rounded. Nothing very notable, just proportionate to his face, maybe just slightly long…though that may just be the sharpness that gives it that illusion from certain angles/in certain lights.
HANDS: [Big or small? Manicured fingernails? Claws? Wrinkles? Visible veins? Bony knuckles? Or smooth skin and soft features?] His hands are very long and thin. The fingernails are meticulously manicured, buffed, and varnished in mostly soft nude colors. But he wears gloves the majority of the time, so you do not see them unless he removes them in your presence.
FEET: [Big or small? Bony or plump? Trimmed toenails? Claws?] They are similar in character to his hands given that they have a long, thin look to them, but they don’t come across as ‘big’. He’s relatively tall, so he needs feet that would support that. He’s a US men’s 10.5. Something always sold in stores and ‘average’, but in the larger end of it.
SCARS: [Any visible scars?] No. Given that his body, especially in release is based on the concepts of growth, birth, and regeneration…he generally heals all wounds very fast, and scar tissues don’t tend to form. And those that do tend to be cannibalized by his metabolism, as it’s essentially extra protein and not a lean tissue.
CLOTHES: [What is their clothing style?] Whatisn’this clothing style.
He prefers things that are light in color. He likes clothing pieces that have long lines that accentuate just how lanky his body is. Sometimes he prefers an ultra-modern, minimalist and sharp aesthetic, like you see in his lab coats. But he really likes things that evoke the delicate and intricate nature of his release form/dress. In his free time, he enjoys wearing many kinds of outfits. He dislikes current masculine styles (finds it way too boring/difficult for self-expression, though there are some houses of design that he does love that are flamboyant)..so you’ll see him dressing androgynously most of the time. But as a rule, he prefers the intricacies of men’s clothing found before the 1900’s and women’s clothing after it.
OTHER PHYSICAL FEATURES: [Optional for non-human characters, or human characters with uncommon features] Well, clearly Szayel is a hollow. So, one of the most asked questions is ‘where it his hole?’ LMAO. His hollow hole, as per official media, is through is glans. (And honestly, I think that the last name of Granz is a pun on this given how Japanese is pronounced with a flap phoneme that makes l’s/r’s appear to switch to an native English speaker.) It runs front to back, the same way that it would with an apadravya piercing and is just big enough to fit an average fingertip through, though it can stretch a bit.
For him, it’s incredibly sensitive to touch…but ironically not in a sexual way. Instead, you’re more likely to put him into more of a trance/relaxed state, given the nature of how a hollow hole is formed. It gives deep bliss in his heart, a feeling of connection and feeling self-worth outside of simple self-objectification and being competent at sexual gratification.
OTHER NOTEABLE FEATURES: [Optional - anything you need to mention that isn’t covered by the above.] Well…given that he’s an Arrancar, his body changes in release. He has a pair of wings that can synthesize both medicines and poisons in the sacs that hang from them. He can create tentacles that have the ability to inject his DNA into a host, and he has tentacles that can intake genetic material, making him functionally hermaphroditic essentially. And this idea even bears out in some of the official concept art, where one of Szayel’s releases conceptualized him as a succubus. (Yes you read that right a succubus—he actually had a tentacle that essentially doubled as a vagina, and you can see how the idea was used in how he creates his dolls from sucking the host into it, creating the doll, and spitting it back out.)
I also really liked his CFYOW form, as it tied together his manga release form with the idea of him being the ‘phoenix’. I love his clawed bird feet and feathers and his ‘tail’ (Kubo…thank you for sneaking that past the censors–I mean LOOK). And from what I’ve read, the glowing pattern on his lower abdomen is in the shape of a uterus so if he’s got that as well as his uhhh ‘tail’, he’s still hinted at being hermaphroditic as Kubo seems to be fond of this idea for him—and I’m 100% in agreement based on how I’ve had the intuitions of the muse myself. I also kind of like the idea that his tongue is technically prehensile that’s hinted at in some of the concept art.
IDK…he has so many cool features. I could go on forever.
so sick how the only way you can get experience is through experience. and the only way you can get good is through the humiliating ordeal of sucking ass at it
i reblogged that post about screenshotting instead of doing prev tags but actually if we’re sharing granular social media etiquette i think we should all go back to copy and pasting tags into a reblog and then adding “(via @username)” afterwards. that’s how it was done when i joined tumblr in 2010 and that’s how i think we should do it now. simple. accessible. clear cut. i am an old man shaking my fist about the kids on the lawn
I feel absolute rage when i call An Office and have to sit through a 5 minute recording telling me I can just use their website thanks!!! I can’t! Believe it or not I’m a child of the internet age who went on your website and it was shit!! Get me a human person!!!!
nickelodeon really wouldn’t let a girl who has made them millions come to their award show because she likes girls, but literally covered up everything that foot man has done and let him get away with all the racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic bullshit he put on their network.
