#food tw

ottermatopoeia:

the-quasar-hero:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

This looks like shit from a butt

every time i see a vid with a white woman in a kitchen i know i’m about to witness a war crime

love losing my appetite in the middle of eating

cuntmunism:

social anxiety will really have you doin dumbass things like looking at something like free donuts at work and thinking “they probably don’t include me in the group of people who are allowed to take from this”

doll-creep:

Happy valentines day, I’m spending it with my clowns and a whole pizza to myself

clnclm:

auauuuaaaahh:

heartnosekid:

y.na__ on ig

could kill for an egg and cheese muffin

fixed by eating a rainbow trout that was still swimming in the creek three hours ago

1. Who puts up holiday decorations weeks or months ahead of time, and who tries to put everything back away until the holiday is closer
   
2. Who likes white chocolate, and who despises it completely
3. Who sings loudly along with songs regardless of talent, and who groans in dismay and turns the radio up louder
4. Who loves pineapple on pizza, and who subtly picks the pineapple off of their slices
5. Who sleeps with limbs hanging off the bed, and who hides under the blankets with all their limbs pulled in close
6. Who buys the salt and vinegar chips, and who hides the bag because they really hate how the chips smell 
7. Who drives “like an old granny” all the time, and who is the “speed demon”
8. Who insists on always dressing up on Halloween, and who wants to stay home and hand out candy
9. Who stops to greet all the animals they pass, and who walks faster so the animals don’t “get” them
10. Who watches the scary/suspenseful movies, and who tries to scare them during the movie
11. Who spends an eternity getting ready to go somewhere, and who fusses about the time and being late
12. Who plays or tries to play the piano, and who climbs on the piano and tries to lay “seductively” on top
13. Who uses their phone to check the time, and who insists on using a watch instead
14. Who wakes up before the alarm clock goes off, and hits snooze half a dozen times
15. Who picks the flowers while on a hike, and who is attacked or fears being attacked by bees

It’s a plain marble cake, it didn’t turn out the way I hoped because I was in a rush, BUT - Happy Birthday Giorno ❤

thelonewulff:

demonologywarlock:

Let’s hear it for bagel & cream cheese

Ingredients:

1 cup unsalted raw almonds

2 oz fresh basil

4 oz fresh spinach

8-14 cloves garlic 

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

½ cup nutritional yeast

1 teaspoon pepper

2 teaspoons salt

½ cup olive oil(plus more to adjust)

1) Blitz almonds by themselves in a food processor until fine.

2) Add remaining ingredients. Start with ½ cup of olive oil and drizzle in more as needed until a perfect thick-yet-spreadable texture is reached. Also since garlic cloves come in many sizes, start with 8 and see how it tastes before adding more.

3) Store for up to a week in the fridge.

This recipe is about as easy as it gets and delicious!

Ingredients:

Chicken (I usually use a package of 4-6 breasts but it can be whatever you like)

Jar of salsa (can be smaller or larger can depending how saucy you like things)

Shredded cheese (optional)

Rice or any sides you want (It goes really with Uncle Ben’s Spanish style rice)

Put chicken in a baking dish (I use a glass rectangular one) dump the jar of salsa over the chicken. Bake at 350 degrees for about 40 mins or until chicken is cooked. Take chicken out of oven and (if you want) cover with shredded cheese and either put it back in the oven for a couple minutes or just cover the dish for a few minutes to melt the cheese. I usually make Uncle Ben’s Spanish style rice to go with it but you can make any rice or any other veggies or sides you want. (You could also make the chicken in a slow cooker if you prefer).

I’ve been cooking this recipe for a very long time. I learned it from a friend, who learned it from a friend, whose mom taught him. This is the sauce you bust out to impress someone, but it’s not hard at all. It’s full of veggies and it’s really chunky and looks as amazing as it tastes. This recipe calls for a lot of chopping of vegetables, so you should be able to handle a knife. It’s vegan, and if you water saute and buy the salt free versions of the canned tomatoes, it is SOS (salt, oil, sugar) free. And you can use a gluten free pasta, as well.

Ingredients:

• 1 tall pot for the sauce, 1 pot for the pasta, a strainer for the pasta, a sharp knife and cutting board
• 1 pound (0.5 kg) box pasta of your choice (you don’t have to cook all of it, depends on how many people are eating. About a quarter of the box per person)
• 1 29 ounce (822 grams) can of tomato sauce (you can get salt free versions of all of these)
• 1 15 ounce (425 grams) can of diced tomatoes
• 1 8 ounce (226 grams) can of tomato paste
• 2 tablespoons (10mL) oil for sauteing (or water saute)
• 1 medium to large yellow or white onion
• 2-3 cloves of garlic (I love garlic so feel free to add more)
• 1 green bell pepper (capsicum)
• 1 yellow or orange bell pepper
• 1 red bell pepper (some stores sell a package with all three colors together)
• 1 8 ounce (226 grams) box of mushrooms (sliced or whole)
• Seasoning: A jar of Italian herbs (or basil and oregano and rosemary and thyme)
• Salt to taste

Directions:

• Chop all your vegetables first! The French have this thing called “mise en place” which means get all your prepwork done first and things will go a million times faster. 
• The onion and garlic are going in first, so dice them and set those aside. Clean and chop the bell peppers into fairly large pieces (about an inch square). Clean and slice the mushrooms (if you bought them whole). Open up all your cans and set those aside.
• Turn the stove onto medium high (8) and heat the oil. When it’s hot, add the onion and garlic. Saute for a couple of minutes, then add the peppers and mushrooms (your pot is going to pretty full). Stir those around for a couple of minutes, getting them hot and softening them just a little. They’re going to cook in the sauce for a while and get soft anyway.
• Add the three cans of tomatoes. The paste is really thick and you’ll have to stir it to get it to mix in.
• Add the Italian seasonings, about 3 tablespoons of the blend or 1 tablespoon of each)
• Bring the sauce back up to a bubble and then lower the heat to about a (4) and simmer for a while. Twenty minutes is a good number. Keep an eye on it and stir it every few minutes so it doesn’t stick to the bottom.
• Once it’s simmering, start the pasta according to the directions on the box. When it’s done, drain the pasta and you can eat!

Required:

* 1 can baked beans (any size or brand)

* water

Optional:

* 1 can meat (go for meat in water, not in any kind of gravy or sauce)

* dried onions (if you have the spoons, diced onion are great and caramelized onions are even better!)

* minced garlic

* salt and pepper

* brown sugar, bouillon, bbq sauce

Basic recipe is to dump beans into a cooking vessel and then add just enough water to thin it out without losing too much flavor. Heat it until hot. Enjoy.

If you want caramelized onions, do that first. Everything else can go in at the same time as the beans. 

If you add too much water, you can just let it simmer off the extra water. I usually just add some bouillon and brown sugar or bbq sauce. No matter what you add, start slow. 

I like to keep the basic ingredients on hand because this is my go to on a slow spoon day.