#five hargreeves
He’s simultaneously in the funniest and saddest situation I’ve ever seen
mr. pennycrumb this, gazelle quote that…the REAL piece of tua comic canon we should be rooting for in the show is Five’s Serial Killer PMS
Five: Don’t worry, I have some knives up my sleeve
Vanya: Uh I think you mean cards
Five, confused, pulling out three knives from his sleeves: Why would I have cards on my sleeve?
Klaus: Five, I need your help
Five: Alright, who are we killing?
Klaus: No, that’s not—
Five: The only rule is no kids, but that rule is one hundred percent negotiable if the kid’s a dick
Five: With all due respect, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Diego: That wasn’t respectful like at all
Five: People tell me I have a unique way of lightning up a room
Allison: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses
Kidnapper: I have your brother
Klaus: Oh no. Which one?
Kidnapper: Uh small?
Klaus: Oh FIVE? I’m sorry sir, but you don’t have Five, he has you. Good luck
Five: Everyone’s always trying to stop me from having fun. It’s all like “Five, that’s illegal!” And “stop it, it’s murder!”
Five: To be fair, I only think that because it’s true and I’m right
Luther: That’s a terrible plan
Klaus: Oh please we’ve had worse
Klaus: STOP ARGUING! You’re going to traumatize the baby!
Five: I’m fifty eight–
Klaus: Not you! Me! I’m baby!
Five: Why learn to grow when you can just fix the past? This is exactly why I don’t need therapy
Vanya: That’s not really the lesson I wanted you to take from this
Five: Too late
Five: Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda
Diego: It’s not on anyone’s
Five: No, it’s on mine. Just not until next Thursday
Reginald: I didn’t raise you this way!
Five: You didn’t raise us at all
Klaus: Are you mad?
Diego:No
Klaus: Oh, I see. So sharpening daggers at two am is just a hobby?
Five: I have a plan
Allison: For the last time, killing everyone and then ourselves is NOT a plan!
Flight attendant: Please make sure all small objects are secured
Klaus: *to Five* Do you feel safe, buddy?
Five: I will murder you
Luther: Where’s Klaus?
Diego: Probably off somewhere disappointing Jesus
Okie,so i just recently finished the Umbrella Academy and immediatley wanted more, so like any attached person would i searched for fanfiction!
The fandom isn’t as huge as some others but there is a good stream of fics coming through on archive, so i got all these from there! (Also there won’t be many ship fics, because incest)
[As always a ★ means that it’s one of my highly reccomended]
General
★Succulents - by KaneNogami
Succulents, they’re called.
So tiny. He looks at the pots who fell on top of another, dirt everywhere inside the crate. A respectable person would walk away, returning home to go to bed before sunrise. That’s good Klaus has never claimed to be respectable, as he can fill his pockets with plants, and his arms too. That’s going to bring colors inside the living graveyard they’re stuck in (minus the ghosts, well outside of his).
-
In which Klaus puts his siblings and himself back together, with the help of a bunch of succulents(complete)
This Cage You Wove Around Me is Perfect - by shadowlancer_95
Klaus has a terrifying moment of clarity where he wonders just how much like dad Luther was.
Or,
In which Klaus is reminded of the mausoleum, decides to say fuck it to Luther and averts the apocalypse all on his own.
(complete)
★The Moon Laughs - by Lady_Origami
After attempting to transport all of his siblings back in time, Five wakes up to a familiar scene. Again. And again. And again. He doesn’t know why he keeps being transported back to the day of his father’s funeral, but he is determined to not waste it now that he has the foresight to prevent the apocalypse. He just wished he didn’t feel so alone doing it all over again.
(ongoing)
Blink - by Lady_Origami
When Five blinks, sometimes he’s back in the world of ash and embers. It’s hard to remember how to breathe when that happens. In which Klaus tries to play the role of supportive brother with Ben’s help, and Five struggles more than he lets on.
(complete)
★as you choke on all the words you long to exhale within your next breath - by wellthengetouttathesoupaisle
“Twenty-two minutes?” Reginald Hargreeves barks incredulously. “Impossible. By all means, he should be dead.”
And by all means, Diego should. Stuck at the bottom of a pool with a slab of concrete on his chest, pinning him to the gritty bottom—he should have kicked it within the first few minutes. But he hadn’t.
(complete)
Too Old To Be So Young - by KaseyBeth
Five winced loudly, pushing his head off the floor to see bright red smeared across his chest and stomach; crimson soaked into his shorts, running down his leg. His head fell back against the ground dizzyingly, and he groaned as someone touched the wound, biting his bottom lip as he tried to stay conscious. The end of life, of everything, was in three days; they didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have time for this. A bullet wound, a stupid bullet wound and all that stupid concern and worry, was just going to slow them down. There wasn’t time for mistakes, or hiccups, or rest and recovery. It was the end of the fucking world. Sickfic so be warned. Also set between episodes 6/7 and spoilers. Also, in here their mother is still dead.
(complete)
come hell or high water - by wearealltalesintheend
“I heard a rumor,” Allison writes, fingers trembling, even as she tries another reassuring smile, “it’s gonna be okay.”
And Klaus wants so bad to believe her, it nearly works.“
.
or, things go differently when Luther locks Vanya in the cage. Three conversations and one sleepover that happen before the world doesn’t end.
(complete)
some old ghosts we grew attached to - by Karturtle (karturtle)
When they were young, Ben never really knew how to get along with Five.
(complete)
★6 Times Five Helped Out His Siblings… - by kbaycolt
… and one time they helped him.
(Or, in which the Hargreeves siblings realize the true extent of Five’s trauma.)
(complete)
Trying to be done trying. And failing - by wolfypuppypiles
“You cannot convince me that Diego’s heart doesn’t stop every time they announce on the police radio that they’ve found a dead junkie” - ealeczander on tumblr
Diego listens to the police radio and prays the dead junkie in the gutter isn’t Klaus.
(complete)
The Hargreeves children celebrate their twelfth birthdays and get their names.
(complete)
there is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends - by Drhair76
“What’s this?” He said pointing a finger at the bread and peanut butter that was laid across the table top.
Five rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. “What do you think. It’s a sandwich.”
“Oh?” Klaus reached out a hand to brush the sleeve of his beloved hoodie. “And what’s this?”
or, the one where Klaus ‘loses’ a hoodie, Five gets a hug and Ben is proud.
(complete)
With the Ink of a Ghost - by floralhearts
“It’s good to have you back,” Luther clapped his no longer deceased brother on the shoulder, “We missed you.”
Klaus didn’t miss the way Ben’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh that’s rich.” The smaller hissed.
or,
Their first reunion with Ben goes a little different than they had originally expected.
(complete)
a game of waiting - by sky_blue_hightops
He was always the fastest. He always beat the others up the stairs, down the halls, through time and space.
If there’s one lesson he’s learned, it’s that there’s always a finish line. A stopping place.
Blood bubbles from between his fingers, and suddenly there’s no air in his lungs.
***
Five jumps in front of a bullet. He calls it quick reflexes. Diego calls it stupidity.(complete)
★If You’re Different And You Know It (you’re not alone) - by M3zzaTh3M3z
“Five was different. He’d always known.
Different from most people, what with his freakish birth, powers and unconventional upbringing, all that old news.
And different from his siblings. He was smarter. His powers were stronger. And he’d never picked a name. All that was old news too.
But there was something else that separated him from the rest, something he didn’t know how to put a finger on, how to categorize, analyse, understand. Five didn’t like not understanding.
It was probably Klaus that made him first notice something was off.”(complete)
haven’t you heard of meditation? - by rosesareredvioletsareblue
“Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!”
Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.
“Oh yeah. Fun.” It took all of Five’s willpower not to throttle him.
(complete)
★skirts and sweaters - by slightlyworriedhuman
“I don’t want to be a ‘cute little schoolboy’ anymore, alright?” Five snapped. For some reason, the thought of himself as a schoolboy was enough to make his skin prickle. Was it the implication that he was younger than the rest of them, less mature despite his life?
…Yeah, it was definitely that. Absolutely.Five wants a change in wardrobe. His siblings are more than happy to help.
(complete)
That’s all… for now anyways!
I know there was a lot of Five centric fics, buuut he’s my favourite so of course imma read fanfics about him
as usual i hope you enjoyed this list and if you haven’t watched the series (i don’t know why your here if you haven’t?) then you should! drop everything and watch it now!!
the umbrella academy meme:[1/1]Powers
Five:Being a sarcastic little shit Jumping through space and time