douwanttobebred:

abreedingmale:

Between me, and your boyfriend or husband

• The thought of not cumming in you never enters my mind

I will neverask:

• “Is this a bad time to cum in you?”
• “Did you remember to take your pill?”
• “Is it ok to cum in you?”

I will never:

• Deny you of a pussy full of sperm
• Pull out
• think of you as anything but a beautiful woman

I will always:

• Cum in you as deep as I can
• Look deep into your eyes when I cum in you
• Feel joy for you when your EPT is positive

I want to put a baby in your belly ever time we have sex, no matter where, no matter when.

This expresses my thoughts and philosophy perfectly.

Sometimes you have to make a choice about what you want to do with your life.

I’ve made mine.

We all love to say we’d do anything for our children. Go any distance. Destroy any obstacle.

But I never thought I’d be… *gag* putting raisins in cookies.

Our daughter is still working on her left and right, so to help her, we got her some running shoes with Frozen characters on them. The design on each shoe is different, Anna on one, Elsa on the other. To help her remember which is which, I told her:

“Elsa goes on the left. ELsa, what starts with L? Left.”

“Which one does Anna go on, Daddy?”

…

“Anna da other foot.”

bethanythemartian:

writing-prompt-s:

You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

[Audio starts]

“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”

“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”

[Clears throat.]

“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”

[Heaving breaths.]

“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”

[Sobbing.]

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”

[Sniff.]

“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”

[Shaky breath.]

“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”

[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]

[Audio ends]

Keep reading

Does/has anyone read the Geronimo/Thea Stilton books (for themselves or their kids)?

Because I have so many questions about that universe.

Like, are cats people or animals? Because in Operation: Secret Recipe, there’s a cat pirate, but then in the Thea Sisters books there are frequent references to them being animals (cat in a zoo, fake cat fur jacket, etc). Are zoos zoos or prisons?

And does the word “fabulous” just not exist? How does “fabumouse” evolve naturally into language?

So many questions.

Low spoon day? Still have to be a functional parent? Here’s some ways to entertain your little one when you feel like shit and have to save your energy for diaper changes. My kid is only 9 months old so these are mostly aimed her age and younger but lots of them can be adapted to older kids as well.

1. Sing. When I was recovering from childbirth and couldn’t do much physically I bonded with baby by singing. She’s older now and still loves it when I sing to her. She even dances. Sometimes I do little hand motions for the “itsy-bitsy spider” or “I’m a little teapot” folk songs from my couch perch.

2. Peek-a-boo. This is good for child development via object permanence. Hide under a blanket and then pop out.

3. Talk and snuggle.

4. Read books together. The more new words a baby hears, the better for their budding language skills. Books introduce not just stories, but bonding time, pictures, and object interaction. I use board books because my child is very grabby and destructive.

5. Watch cartoons and cuddle. When you hear you should keep kids away from screen time, the most important reason for that is that it is non-interactive. I believe there is nothing wrong with screen time (in moderation) if it is interactive. Tell the kid what they are seeing, explain the show. Ask them what they like about the characters, even if they can’t answer you yet.

6. Lay on the floor and let the kid interact with you. You don’t have to move around a whole lot to stack blocks or play with plushies or roll a ball around.

7. Bath time. Sometimes I need to soak my sore muscles, so kill two birds with one stone and wash the kid at the same time. Make this into a fun activity with bath toys and playful splashing. (This is best for kids old enough to sit up independently; I bathed her in her infant bath by herself before she was old enough for joint bath time).

8. Just show the kid all the things you are doing and narrate yourself. Babies are fascinated by you.

Create the soundtrack of your life

“A very hungry caterpillar”, one of his favorite artworks. Thank you my son!

Is it really dangerous for babies to sleep with mom? Do chores have to be a fight? How do you get your kids to do chores without complaining?

Over the next month in our series #HowToRaiseAHuman, NPR searches around the world for ideas to make parenting easier. 

Catch up on what we’ve published so far:

Secrets Of A Maya Supermom: What Parenting Books Don’t Tell You

Adriana Zehbrauskas for NPR

Parenting doesn’t have to be so stressful. Just ask a Maya mom.

The Surprising Benefit Of Moving And Grooving With Your Kid

Fabio Consoli for NPR

It doesn’t just keep them entertained. New research highlights an unexpected positive impact — and also shows that when a parent sings to a child, the parent can benefit, too.

Is Sleeping With Your Baby As Dangerous As Doctors Say?

Many doctors in the U.S. say the practice puts an infant at risk of sleep-related death. A close look at the research reveals a different picture.

Your Turn: What Do You Wish You’d Known Before Becoming A Parent?

Image: Christine Koh 

Mom and dad bloggers share their insights. We’d love for you to answer, too!

Don’t miss a single story from this series. Sign up for NPR Health’s newsletterto get the stories delivered to your inbox.

dwellordream:

“In the stories discussed above, we have already seen elements or tinges of jealous passion intruding occasionally into otherwise innocent feelings of paternal devotion. There are, however, certain tales in which the father’s feelings about the daughter, or his actions in connection with her role as bride, exceed the bounds of propriety. This is perhaps most evident in those stories in which the father one way or another becomes involved in what transpires in the bridal chamber on the wedding night. To be sure, in “Hans My Hedgehog” (KHM 108) this involvement occurs at the bridegroom’s request: he tells the old king that he should have four men stand guard before the door and make a large fire, in which they are to burn the skin the hedgehog will shed just before he climbs into the marriage bed. 

Once this has happened and Hans is lying in the bed “completely in human form, but … black as coal as though he had been burned,” the king calls for his physician, who washes the bridegroom “with good salves and covers him with ointments” so that he is transformed into a handsome young man, very much to the daughter’s delight. In “The Two Royal Children” (KHM 113), though, a father’s jealous love of his daughters, and accompanying envy of the suitor as prospective bridegroom, is indicated by his condition that if the young prince is to have one of the daughters to wife, he must remain awake in her bedroom for nine hours–from nine in the evening to six in the morning–without falling asleep. 

The– ironic–implication of the father’s odd demand may be that he imagines that in this way the young man will be prevented from “sleeping” with the daughter and will thus have to suffer the torments of unfulfilled desire. As it happens, the eldest daughter and the two younger ones after her trick the father by having the statues of St. Christopher standing in their rooms answer each hour for the young man, who thereby passes the test despite having fallen asleep in the girls’ bedrooms (there is no indication that he engages in any intimacy with them, except the laconic reports that he “laid himself on the threshold”). 

Keep reading

Poem to My Child, If Ever You Shall Be
Ross Gay

                             —after Steve Scafidi

The way the universe sat waiting to become,
quietly, in the nether of space and time,

you too remain some cellular snuggle
dangling between my legs, curled in the warm

swim of my mostly quietest self. If you come to be—
And who knows?—I wonder, little bubble

of unbudded capillaries, little one ever aswirl
in my vascular galaxies, what would you think

of this world which turns itself steadily
into an oblivion that hurts, and hurts bad?

Would you curse me my careless caressing you
into this world or would you rise up

and, mustering all your strength into that tiny throat
which one day, no doubt, would grow big and strong,

scream and scream and scream until you break the back of one injustice,
or at least get to your knees to kiss back to life

some roadkill? I have so many questions for you,
for you are closer to me than anyone

has ever been, tumbling, as you are, this second,
through my heart’s every chamber, your teeny mouth

singing along with the half-broke workhorse’s steady boom and gasp.
And since we’re talking today I should tell you,

though I know you sneak a peek sometimes
through your father’s eyes, it’s a glorious day,

and there are millions of leaves collecting against the curbs,
and they’re the most delicate shade of gold

we’ve ever seen and must favor the transparent
wings of the angels you’re swimming with, little angel.

And as to your mother—well, I don’t know—
but my guess is that lilac bursts from her throat

and she is both honeybee and wasp and some kind of moan to boot
and probably she dances in the morning—

but who knows? You’ll swim beneath that bridge if it comes.
For now let me tell you about the bush called honeysuckle

that the sad call a weed, and how you could push your little
sun-licked face into the throngs and breathe and breathe.

Sweetness would be your name, and you would wonder why
four of your teeth are so sharp, and the tiny mountain range

of your knuckles so hard. And you would throw back your head
and open your mouth at the cows lowing their human songs

in the field, and the pigs swimming in shit and clover,
and everything on this earth, little dreamer, little dreamer

of the new world, holy, every rain drop and sand grain and blade
of grass worthy of gasp and joy and love, tiny shaman,

tiny blood thrust, tiny trillion cells trilling and trilling,
little dreamer, little hard hat, little heartbeat,

little best of me.

–

Today in: 

2021: Choi Jeong Min, Franny Choi
2020:Earl, Louis Jenkins
2019:Kul, Fatimah Asghar
2018:My Life Was the Size of My Life, Jane Hirshfield
2017:I Would Ask You To Reconsider The Idea That Things Are As Bad As They’ve Ever Been, Hanif Abdurraqib
2016:Tired, Langston Hughes
2015:Democracy, Langston Hughes
2014:Postscript, Seamus Heaney
2013:The Ghost of Frank O’Hara, John Yohe
2012:All Objects Reveal Something About the Body, Catie Rosemurgy
2011:Prayer, Marie Howe
2010:The Talker, Chelsea Rathburn
2009:There Are Many Theories About What Happened, John Gallagher
2008:bon bon il est un pays, Samuel Beckett
2007:Root root root for the home team, Bob Hicok
2006:Fever 103°, Sylvia Plath
2005:King Lear Considers What He’s Wrought, Melissa Kirsch

St Joseph, Guardian of Sons – Melchior Paul von Deschwanden

Eternal God, originator of Fatherhood,
I offer to you the blessed office of Father.
May the men who occupy this dignified place
protect and care for their children and wives
with valiant honesty, heroic chastity,
noble humility, and stern sobriety.

Ignite a fire in the hearts of men, O God,
so that they may respond to the Divine call
to fatherhood, both natural and spiritual,
and model themselves after the holy example of
Blessed Joseph, Father of the Universal Church.

Through his intercession, may fathers
be strengthened to flee from sin,
subdue their flesh, wrestle with the
powers of corruption, banish the darkness,
and obtain victory over hell and its agents.

We ask this through our
Lord Jesus Christ, sanctifier of all men,
to the glory of God the Father.
Amen.

Cage

How different is

the gentle song of the bird

when it is free

In Spanish:

Qué diferente

el canto del pájaro

cuando está libre

My father loved birds… caged birds, captive birds. They only had some square inches to jump and sing. Nevertheless, they sang. I guess there are were some primitive force that even captivity wasn’t able to kill.

Now, I think it is better to listen to them in their own environment, in the messy whirpool of their own bussiness: their battles, their loves, their deaths, their births.

I guess we were very different. I guess I never understood him. Maybe, I should have made them free. Some punishment? maybe, but that would have been a good deed.

Audrey Hepburn, Mel Ferrer and little Sean at a circus in Rome, 1964.

Why does Genius, like Brink, give its protagonist a father with a back injury? Consider the two films’ treatment of disability in the context of the father-as-provider archetype. In what ways do these films’ fathers subvert or uphold traditional economic and literary conceptions of masculinity?