There once was a shipping vessel then And the name of the ship was the Ever Given She turned too far, got stuck on shore Can someone call a backhoe?
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
She was not even halfway through When down on her, a sandstorm blew Despite the courage of the fearless crew They had nowhere to go
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
The others ships went ‘long the shore A detour 'round the African Horn It cost nine billion bucks or more That’s quite a lot of dough
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
For six long days, we watched this scene We made dumb jokes and posted memes Though they did free the Ever Given We encourage them to get stuck again!
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and gooooo…
a sequel, a sequel for the ever forward!
there twice was a ship that stuck shorewards, and the name of the second was the ever forward; she missed a turn when the waters churned, so the voyage ain’t on the go.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
scarcely had the crew pulled up the anchor when she ran aground, which almost sank her; 'all tugs to the aid!’, the captain swore his furrowed brows lour and dour.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
the ever forward’s been stuck for a fortnight, and thank the stars! the traffic’s alright, yet the rescue teams’ knuckles went bone white for the ship’s no child’s play, no.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
for fourteen days the memes did boom, as the evergreen bosses huff, puff and fume; still the ever forward has not moved, and the company’s cursed, ho!
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take noteeeeee~
There once was a shipping vessel then And the name of the ship was the Ever Given She turned too far, got stuck on shore Can someone call a backhoe?
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
She was not even halfway through When down on her, a sandstorm blew Despite the courage of the fearless crew They had nowhere to go
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
The others ships went ‘long the shore A detour 'round the African Horn It cost nine billion bucks or more That’s quite a lot of dough
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
For six long days, we watched this scene We made dumb jokes and posted memes Though they did free the Ever Given We encourage them to get stuck again!
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and gooooo…
a sequel, a sequel for the ever forward!
there twice was a ship that stuck shorewards, and the name of the second was the ever forward; she missed a turn when the waters churned, so the voyage ain’t on the go.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
scarcely had the crew pulled up the anchor when she ran aground, which almost sank her; 'all tugs to the aid!’, the captain swore his furrowed brows lour and dour.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
the ever forward’s been stuck for a fortnight, and thank the stars! the traffic’s alright, yet the rescue teams’ knuckles went bone white for the ship’s no child’s play, no.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
for fourteen days the memes did boom, as the evergreen bosses huff, puff and fume; the ever forward has not moved, and the company’s cursed, ho!
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take noteeeeee~
The strange curse of being a geography major and seeing commentary about “shipping” on this site only to realize it has nothing to do with containerization and the transformation of the global supply chain…
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW PLEASED I AM THAT WE’RE ALL NOW TALKING ABOUT CONTAINER SHIPS
You know, of all the fucking things I would have guessed would become memes on tumblr this week, “massive disruption to european supply chains via international shipping accident” was, let’s say, not highon the list.
1) As a former sailor here’s my hot take on the stuck boat in the Suez. I’m actually in admiration of the skill of whoever did this. They managed a crash in one of the busiest water ways and all they damaged was a wall. No lives lost. No other boat involved, no damaged cargo. A+
2) Lemme tell you about pilots. Pilots are tug boats or crew who lead you through challenging passages. Usually harbours or narrow water ways. The Suez requires you to hand over control of your boat to a government endorsed pilot crew. Some pilots are great. Suez Pilots are not
3) they don’t protecc. They don’t atacc. Mainly they sleep and snacc. Yep. The Suez takes roughly 13 hours for a big ship to navigate. I have yet to hear of a diligent Seuz pilot who actually stayed at the helm even half that time. And pilots are not free. We pay extra for them
a small private boat pays $500-1000 US. The #EVERGIVEN this would be over $10,000 US for the pilot crew alone on top of the $100,000 to use the canal. And the pilot crew are mandatory. Considering how much shipping goes through the suez, how are their bad pilots still not known?
So#EVERGIVEN got stuck in a sand storm with 40kt gusts&no visiblity. This is totally enough to blow them off course&disorient them, they’d be working off radar and sonar. Factor in possible confusion of who was responsible for driving, the pilot of the officer of the watch?
The#EVERGIVEN officer’s concerns went like this -my crew -my ship -other ships -my cargo definitely not holding up global shipping traffic. And probably not that wall they hit with the part of the hill that’s reinforced. The fact that they ran aground without damaging cargo?
A+#EVERGIVEN Officer & #Evergreen crew. I am truly amazed at your soft landing. I’m sorry no one is talking about the low quality Suez pilot crew who was supposed to be driving (I’m sorry to the good Suez pilots, I know you’re out there somewhere not napping & working hard)
Considering 10% of the world’s shipping traffic goes through the Suez, the fact that government endorsed mandatory suez pilots are negligent& harsss female crew in one of the world’s busiest canals should be known outside the boating world. Good luck #EVERGIVEN, you can do it!
[ID: four text excerpts, reading first, “Ever Given is a very large boat. And very large boats in confined channels do not move in car-like ways.” Second, “Sailors talk about hydrodynamics the way CEOs talk about macroeconomics: they either treat it with mystical reverence, or they claim to understand it and are wrong.” Third, “…physical models in a lab. As in: you build little boats and then you drag them through the water, in a towing tank. Hydrodynamics is what a five-year old would do, if a five-year old had a PhD.” (last sentence is highlighted.) Fourth, “By any historical standards, the Ever Given is a monster. But it’s a monster in a specific way: it’s fat. The more containers you can” (cuts off) /end ID]
Now that Summer is upon us I plan to go down to my local Yarr Harr Happy Pirate Ocean Fun Land Water Park in my official Evergreen Marine swim trunks and proceed to turn sideways in the most inaccessible part of the waterslide and completely obstruct it for several days.
Ever Given was a nice treat, and while I am glad the issue is solved, I am a bit sad to see her go. I think what we enjoyed most about the situation was knowing there was absolutely nothing we had to (or even could) do about it. It wasn’t our job! At all! We didn’t have to donate, protest, educate ourselves, raise awareness, or even move the darn thing. We didn’t have to feel guilty about our inaction. This time it was wholly, completely not our problem.
