“I guess they say nobody’s perfect… But they’ve never met a devil like you.” - Orville Peck, Roses are falling
Description: Carcrash, coma, drug usage, partying, heartbreak… You’ve been there. After 18 months of “corrective” stay at your grandmother’s in Minnesota, it’s time for you to move back to East Highlands. Yet, it was to be expected that while some things change, some stayed the same.
A/N: I am so sorry for disappearing, but I was ill, sick, and then I wasn’t able to write a single sentence when I wanted to. I hope this will make up for it a bit. I’ll try to get back into writing now, I had to get all my shit together first, but I’m hopefully doing that and we can move to more interesting part of the story now. PS: I know the chapter is weirdly worded, but I still tried to give it my best.
Sure, you texted the girl back an hour after Rue hit you up. You were sure that you’ll have the time. Your meeting was to happen the other evening since Archibald wanted to spend some time alone anyway. He just wanted to take a break from the town, from what was happening in the town, from all the people he had met over the last week, he wanted to take a break from the entire world; which, you had to say, was more than fair. To be honest with yourself, you understood what he meant by that. East Highlands could be way more than a person in their right mind would ever ask for, especially after they got to meet the residents. Living in the town wasn’t easiest on its own; the town had a high rate of assaults (of all kinds), there were a lot of people hooked on drugs, even more people that had overdosed, there were bullies, beaters, those who illegally possessed various guns… Fucking hell, you were sure that this wasn’t even all of the shit happening under the dark of the night. The list went on and on, this wasn’t at all of the offenses, crimes, or vandalism that people around the town committed to.
That led to your boyfriend being very glad to hear you’ll be leaving the flat for an entire evening. He needed space and time to think about what was happening in the town. The boy also wanted to look for some job opportunities and buy books for his next year in college, which was something you had to also do… Yet, on the other hand, you still had an entire month ahead of you and you were fucking lazy. So you se.t on meeting up with Rue. But that didn’t mean that you were exactly enthusiastic about being with her the entire time. Fuck, did you even know who she was? Last time, before even bumping into you at the party at Barbie’s, she had to be under the hard influence to even look at you and approach you several hours later. Did you two have anything to talk about? Did you two still see eye to eye? Were you at least acquaintances? Because you weren’t friends at all.
Rue asked you to meet her at the park. It wasn’t just a random park, it was the park.
Walking through the open space, seeing the known environment, memories were surfacing at the back of your head. This was the place where all of you used to hang out throughout the summer. Your favorite spot was the picnic table hidden behind the playground. Turning your head around, your head fell on another spot you knew - there was this tree Rue tried to climb on back in the day, making both Gia and your small bro cry as they laughed. The girl fell flat on her ass, laying in the grass as she grinned at you. You still remembered the exact spot where you and Fez used to unfold your old picnic blanket. Laying there, you were relaxing as you lay on your stomach. The entire time you were trying to study and he, as per usual, fell asleep with his head on your ass. That one time when Ash tried to own a dog, it ran through one of the bushes. The animal ran away and no matter how long you tried looking for it, you never saw it again. After that, Ashtray didn’t ask Fezco for another dog ever again.
And now, arriving at your favorite spot, there was Rue-Rue. She was leaning her ass into a small stone fence as one of her ankles bounced around; she always did this when she was nervous. The girl was dressed in her old red hoodie and a pair of washed-out jeans. As usual, Rue had her hair messily laid around her face, framing it perfectly. Before, at the time when Rue was at least seemingly clean, her hair was silky and fluffy, looking like a halo; especially when she smiled at you. The angelic being was now gone for the most part. Now, her deep brown eyes were hollow and spiteful, the skin on her cheeks was breaking out, her hair was super fucking messy and greasy. Bennett looked like a fucking wench and when you looked into her eyes, goosebumps formed at the back of your neck. Honestly, this shit was making you cry.
“Hi, Morgan!” - You exclaimed in Rue’s direction and despite everything, you tried to keep your tone cheerful and voice loud and clear. This shit was so fake that any normal person should have been able to hear it from a mile away. But to Rue, it seemed genuine and so, so familiar. It almost felt like having that old Y/N back, right before the car crash… Right before Mouse ended up dead. - “I was looking forward to seeing you, so much.” “You’re looking good, Y/N, yeah, you’re looking fucking great.” - The girl mumbled as she jolted closer to you. She wasn’t high just yet since she was nervous as fuck - but you could only guess that it won’t take too long before she’ll use some drugs.
Just when you least expected it, the girl walked right in front of you, hugging you very abruptly… Almost bringing you down to the ground. After a second, you gave into the hug with a small smile - yet it wasn’t a happy smile at all. The smile was full of sadness and memories of the past you lived through together.
“Someone’s excited to see me, aren’t they?” - You mumbled with a quiet giggle, stepping away from Rue to take another long look at her… Breaking your heart even more apart. - “Whatcha wanna do, Rue? I heard Cal is visiting Gia at your place, would you wanna…” - “No.” - Rue dismissed way too quickly. What could she be up to? Maybe she wanted to walk around the town and be reminiscent of your past… Bullshit, that was pure bullshit. Maybe she wanted to hang out at Jules’? Another piece of bullshit, these two weren’t talking for at least a fucking year. What about Fezco? She seemed to be talking with Ash and Fezco. And for the most part, you would be cool with hanging out at their place or the gas station; it was a relatively safe space to be at, especially if you were to hang out with Rue. But to your surprise, that didn’t seem to be the plan either.
“Okay, that’s cool. What are we up to, then?” - With that, you pushed both of your palms deeper into your jean jacket, looking around the park. “Figured I could introduce you to one of my friends, someone I’m hanging out with recently… Cause he heard a lot about you and your time here… Remember that?” - Rue giggled suddenly, looking at the tree in the distance. You could still see the moment the girl fell right on her back, gasping for air while she laughed. Rue was laying there with her palms on her thorax, looking at both your younger siblings. Her eyes shone with happiness. But now, there was none of it inside her eyes. - “How could I fucking forget?” - With that, you both laughed.
“Anyway… New friend, yea?” “He’s a good guy. Would catch a bullet for me for sure.” “Never said he wasn’t. How did you guys meet?” “Yannow, we were at a party together… It was new year’s, I think. My memory is kinda acting up lately.” - Rue admitted as if it wasn’t clear as day that her memory and possibly her entire personality and character hadn’t shifted ever since you last talked to her when she was sober. “I see. Well, let’s meet the friend, I’m curious about who it is and how he’s like.”
Just getting to the friend’s house took you around half an hour. Sometimes, it appeared that Rue is paranoically looking around you to see if there was anything suspicious. In your mind, it was whatever shit she was getting high on, but Rue mumbled something among the lines of: - “Wild, wild shit happened after you moved out. Nate actually seems to have his shit together most of the time, Maddy went through a mental breakdown, Cassie went nuts, Lexi started dating Fezco… And even more shit with the police, but I can’t talk about that.” - As if you knew what exactly the shit with the police meant since it could mean anything on the range of a drug deal going wrong to police fucking around Mouse’s sudden murder. In the most probable case, it simply meant that Rue was making everything up.
The house you were about to spend your evening in was really nice. The exterior was neatly put together and the small garden in front of it was very nice; among a few bushes of tomatoes and bell peppers you noticed something that bore similarity to marijuana tree, but you didn’t anything. It couldn’t be a coincidence. The interior had its charm, but you could tell that the friend is definitely not living alone in the house. Sure, there was an undeniable stench of weed in the air, soaked into the air, but it was nice and pretty much tidy overall. As you entered the small hallway, a young woman nodded your and Rue’s was, smiling at the both of you. The house was colorful and full of life, which you liked. How did Rue come across someone like that?
Sure, these people smoked a bit of weed, but they were just… Everyday people. There was lemonade and some sweets on the dinner table, the dust was neatly wiped, the walls were colorful and there were millions of paintings, decorations and former school successes hung on them. Somehow, you doubted that weed is the only thing Rue’s friend is doing. With a smile, you nodded back at the woman, leaving her smiling too as you followed Rue upstairs. From quite a distance, you could hear the familiar strumming sound. Someone was playing the guitar. And by the difficulty and speed of it, you knew that the person is fucking good at playing guitar. The closer you got to their room, the more the weed stench intensified, making you grin a bit. Back in the day, you sometimes smoked weed with Fran and Fezco when it was offered to you. In your heart, you wholeheartedly believed that these two will take care of you in case anything goes wrong. Then, there was that time when you used hallucinogens right before fucking… And boy, oh boy, the shit was wild.
The thing was - you hadn’t smelled weed in a long time, so the familiar stench made you grin and your head hurt a bit. And then, after taking a turn at the staircase, you noticed him. Rue’s new friend was… He was quite something. As soon as he heard your footsteps in front of the opened door, the boy smiled at you and put both elbows on the upper side of his guitar that was not resting on his upper thighs. As suspected, he was holding a joint in his right palm, but overall… He wasn’t anything that you’d imagine after hearing Rue say “I wanna introduce you to my friend”. He had blonde, obviously bleached hair, nice swarthy skin, and a small smile as he let his dark brown eyes roam from your head to your toes. The boy, whatever his name was, was a particular person. There was this kind of… A cheeky half-smile on his face as he looked at you before scratching his something of a goatie. At the same time, you wondered about the small tattoos on his face and his neck. No matter what kind of person expected, and your bar was set fucking low, he was something so out the realm of it that you were actually… Pleasantly surprised. Yet on the back of your head, you felt like you’ve already met the guy somewhere.
“So, this is the girl I’ve told you so much about.” - Rue smiled in her typical manner, bringing back even more memories. There was this small flash of one of her Morgan Freeman moments that you’ve seen in her eyes, but it was gone before you properly grasped it. - “Y/N. We used to be best friends. Now, we’re just friends.” “That’s right, I’m Y/N, hi. It’s very nice to meet you.” - With a smile, you offered the guy your palm. Repeating after you, the boy smiled and offered you a handshake.
“Name’s Eliott and… I don’t wanna be that kind of a guy, but we already know each other from way back in the day.” - The boy smiled, leaving you kinda clueless. With your eyebrows raised, your gaze jumped from him to Rue, who was now laying on the bed with a lazy smile. “By the way, your knees look fucking rough. They looked much better back in the day. Whatcha been doing? Fucking hell.” - The boy snickered, still holding your palm in his. While finally leaving his palm to fall back on the instrument, you looked at your somewhat patched knees. Shrugging your shoulders, you decided not to talk about how you somewhat of a younger brother got stabbed in his abdomen.
“Wait, where do I know you from?” “Bio… And Spanish, I think. Was sitting at the back of the class and we never really spoke. Until now.” “Fuck, that’s embarrassing.” - There was nothing to do other than to laugh. This was embarrassing… Cause Elliot clearly knew who you were and you’d swear you had never even seen him. Not like he was something that could be missed easily, with his bleached hair and face tats, was he?
“Not if you won’t make it embarrassing. Put some music on, will ya?”- Elliot asked you as he put the guitar away, leaning it into the side of his bed as he laid himself down next to Rue, taking a long ass drag from the joint. - “I love judging people based on the first song they play.”
At that, you smirked. This entire exchange carried a distant memory of the easy-going flow you remembered - Rue was laying on the bed with a small smile, sober to some degree, and Elliot just acted like one of the typical high school students. Judging people based on music taste… You couldn’t hear that shit anywhere else. Respecting his wish, you plugged your phone into the speaker, deciding to play one of the Orville Peck songs you learned to listen to during your Minnesota stay. It was a slow romantic country ballad and you danced to it with Archie many times before. Yet it seemed to surprise Elliot as the first guitar chords sounded through his room - at that moment you have already sat down again with a smile.
“I expected a lot from you.” - The boy said with honesty, leaning into his elbows as you sat down into a plushy chair with a small smile. - “But this is a very nice surprise. How did ya find this guy, he’s great.“
Just as you and Elliot debated about the mysterious cowboy artist, joking around and pointing out the similarities linking him to other artists, Rue decided to go to the bathroom to "pee”. Whatever she was doing there, it wasn’t peeing at slightest and you were dead sure about it - while she was gone, there was two Peck and three 2Pac songs before she came back. As you still chatted with Elliot, you immediately knew that Rue is fucked up. While still trying to keep your eyes on Elliot and struggling and stumbling on your words, you realized that while the lights were on, there was this unsettling emptiness under Rue’s eyes. Her eyes were glassy, unfocused, and misty as if she barely kept in touch with reality around her. Her skin was paler and weirdly sweaty once again, making you furrow as you still tried to keep laughing at Elliot’s jokes.
Just when you were about to ask Rue what’s up, you saw something you definitely weren’t supposed to see. But in all fairness, Bennett was too far gone to realize that you’re even looking at her. It was a small moment when she was slipping her hoodie down her shoulder and just before she abruptly pulled it back up because she realized you were looking at her. But you stared at the small spot even if it was already covered - making Elliot realize you didn’t know about any of that. What was the think that had taken you back? What made your breath shallow? it was the small bruises, droplets of blood, and pricks in her elbow hole… Both elbow holes to be exact since Rue obviously wasn’t able to locate her veins immediately - that was what caught your eye. Bennett grew a bit paler as she realized she just divulged one of her biggest secrets.
This was a game-changer. This was something so profound and gross that it immediately burned all the bridges you two could pretend to build back up together. Now, you were sure you wanted to stay away from her. This shit scared you. Who were you kidding? From the beginning, you knew that Rue was a junkie. But as far as your knowledge reached, she only took pills. Which, yes, was still fucked up… But intravenous shit? That was a new low for Bennett. It was a low spot from which you weren’t sure if she can ever climb out of. Realizing Elliot knew what happened in the bathroom made you exhale as you started to laugh hysterically. Quickly, you got on your legs and started packing your shit, leaving Elliot’s place immediately.
“So this is what you’ve been up to after I left?” - You asked with tears in your eyes. - “Hard drugs? Bennett, you really fucking outdone yourself. Does anyone know? Does Ali know? Jules, Leslie, Lexi… Fezco? Did you fucking tell anyone except Elliot, huh?” “Y/N, you should really calm down.” - Elliot said quietly and slowly, standing right in front of you with his palms up. With a sneer on your face, you looked at him as well. Elliot. Fucking Elliot, eh? A new fucking friend. Was he doing this shit as well? Was he the one showing Rue this shit? Boy oh boy were you mad at that moment. “Listen, dipshit, she’s fucking pricking herself in your fucking bathroom.” - At that moment, you were almost screaming - you tried to make Rue know how disappointed and annoyed you were, but you didn’t want Elliot’s family to come to check on you. God knew if they had any knowledge about what Rue was doing inside their house. - “And you dare to look me in the eyes and tell me to calm down? Where did you get it? And what it even is this time? Heroin or fucking metamfetamine?”
You tried to wait for any sort of an answer from Rue… And while you did so, you felt the tears gathering in your eyes - your eyes were shaky, you tried to get your shit together; but the girl just stood there, leaving the hoodie falling off her shoulder with her lips opened and tears rolling on her cheeks. So that was it. Deciding not to lose any more of your time, you turned on your heels and put on your jean jacket so you could leave the house. Sprinting out of the door, you didn’t even spare a look at Elliot’s family member still sitting on the sofa in the living room.
Not even knowing where you were going, you just aimlessly wandered through the town just to kill a bit of time. You didn’t want to stay in Rue’s presence, but you didn’t wanna go home either. As the time passed, with each step you took, you realized that you weren’t even mad at Rue… You were just fucking scared - you were worrying about her. It was obviously to be expected that if she had ever started with doing gateway drugs… Then she started to abuse opioids… Then, sometime in the future, she had to take the step forward. And even though it shouldn’t have surprised you, you were still taken back. Did anyone know about the dangers Rue was going through by using drugs intravenously? Did she tell anyone except Elliot? Could that be the reason she stopped talking to Jules altogether? What about the other people you named? Did Rue have any other friends? What about Maddy, Cassie, or Kat? Who was left to still listen to Rue and to take her seriously? Who was there to pull her out of the deepest of shit? Did she have anyone to call in case she’d be in danger?
Pushing your palms deeper into the pockets of your jean jacket, you took a turn and stopped yourself to look around for a second, taking in the surroundings. Thank God, you knew where you were - just two blocks away from the gas station and if you’d continue in that direction, you will soon arrive at your parents’ house. Your parents’ house wasn’t exactly the place you would love to be at, but it was something. Taking in a long breath, you set on the road, still thinking about what Rue was doing with her fucking life. As you were about to cross the road next to the station, you heard someone yelling at you. Stopping in your tracks, you took a small bit to look around - just to see Lexi, it was her of all people, running to you with a smile.
“Hey!” - The young woman waved at you, her smile growing even more. Stopping next to you, Lexi leaned her palms to her knees to take a small breath. The girl must’ve run to you from the store just to talk to you. - “I wasn’t sure if it’s you, but I wasn’t wrong. It’s kinda late, whatcha doing here?” “I was hanging out with Rue.” - It was a mere whisper above your breath telling Lexi all she needed to know. She and Rue were still kind of talking, but it had been a long time since the two of them properly hung out. - “It didn’t exactly go as I planned and now I’m… I don’t even know what I’m doing. I was just walking, thinking, not doing anything.”
Lexi, being the sunshine she was, smiled at you and bumped your shoulder. - “I was getting bored out there. Would you wanna grab some sweets and watch a movie with me?” Looking at her, it wasn’t easy to name what was going on in Lexi’s head. Seeing her eyes and smile, you knew there was no ill intent hidden inside that question; maybe she could’ve seen how upset you were, maybe she did know what was going on with Rue, maybe there was some other bond that connected the two of you… But you decided to agree with the offer. - “Come on then, let’s grab some food and leave.”
