ATTENTION: anyone under the age of consent: THE BDSM COMMUNITY IS NOT FOR YOU. BDSM is a sexual kink and it’s uncomfortable for adults when we see 14 year olds trying to be part of it.
I do not mind if any minors follow me, I do not post sexual stuff, HOWEVER (this has been an issue on my Instagram but not on Tumblr (yet))
If you are a minor that’s in to BDSM, DO NOT try to talk to me about BDSM. It IS a sexual kink and I am an adult and I do NOT wish to have a conversation with a CHILD about a KINK. Leave the BDSM community until you are the age of consent please! I have seen a lot of minors taken advantage of by Doms..:/
Again, I don’t care if you follow me as I don’t post sexual content, but please do not message me asking for tips and such, my only tip is leave until you’re a consenting adult. And don’t mess around with adults until you’re an adult..
I’ve seen a lot (mostly in the DDLG community) a lot of underaged littles with adult daddy’s/mommy’s and that shits gotta end soon.
Those marks momma makes. The ones only she can see. When you gave all of yourself too momma and she loved you so much she marked you as hers. Safe, protected by her love bites. Those marks make momma so proud. Momma loves you angel.
Its mainly going to be about me and my daddy <3 and filled with things that we find hot haha :3 Personal pictures, games and challenges to be put up in a few months or so ! keep your eyes opened! :D
A few months ago I started learning and practicing Shibari “Japanese rope bondage” it’s a very artistic mindful practice and I have made it part of my weekly regimen. I thought it was just a kink I wanted to explore but I didn’t expect it to become a coping skill for my anxiety I have found it’s helped my anxiety my dissociative disorder and sensory processing disorder and over all my confidence. When I was first learning it took patients I watched YouTube tutorials and paused and rewound over and over again I would get tangled up and frustrated I would mess up and start over I focused all my energy on learning and found my mind less cluttered of all the intrusive thoughts I struggle with daily… I could quite my mind just like some may do with arts and crafts or a beloved hobby this might even be considered a hobby. For me it’s more of a lifestyle. As I learned how to tie my first harness I was so proud of myself for sticking to something until completed and added boosts of confidence as I looked at my beautiful body bound in rope I felt sexy and empowered. and the results reminded me of a tight hug like the same feeling I get from my very therapeutic weighted blanket. Dealing with dissociating I loose connection with my body. describe able to an out of body experience rope helps me be aware of myself to feel where each body part is and how it’s being hugged it a simple term rope grounds me and keeps me present. with anxiety it’s easy to get lost in racing thoughts that create panic soon I might be breathing heavy and my heart racing and you would think being retrained would cause more panic but now I have no other choice but to take deep breaths and find my calm the rope helps guide my breath steady. As I take a deep breath in… my lungs expand my ribs widen and feel the rope grasp me tighter as if whispering to me its okay you are safe you are present you are here in this moment and as I exhale I feel the rope loosen it’s loving grip still wrapped around me just a bit lighter .. the rope sighed a relief with me as I’m assured everything is okay I am present I am grounded I am loved … I don’t know how to explain all of this so I went to google to find out other people have used rope to help them just like me it’s not for everyone but for some it’s fucking magic . What I find fascinating is that you are literally binding yourself and liberating yourself … how freeing it is to me. In my past I have been In Situations where I was held against my will. I could not escape I was trapped I was traumatized now living with PTSD from multiple sexual assaults I have a fear of being held down of not being able to escape to get away a fear to protect myself from such threats… with rope and self knotts …I am the captor the captive and the liberator . I am in control completely I am submissive to my self it is a practice of self love . And a powerful feeling with in myself that I have control of my body I say what goes. I create the feeling and I take it away . A relationship i create within myself. And new way to trust. To find peace in the uncomfortable till it becomes comfortable soothing I can relate the process to yoga . The captor the captive the liberator getting to play all these rolls in one setting is in empowering to say the least . There something about psychologically that I haven’t quite figured out yet but it helps my mind It finds a way to heal the wounded parts of me . It soothes me it liberates me empowers me. Frees me loves me keeps me focused grounded happy loved.
To wrap this up idk how to but I’ll try my best ….. I consider myself a rope bunny now although I’m an amateur and have only learned self knotts I’m excited to go further with my trusted Dom/master to tie me up himself in more confined restraints to let someone else do this to me requires a great deal of trust for me and most. I have a very loving relationship with my Dom . When I started Shibari I thought it to be something to bring more kink into my sex life but you see it’s so much more then that… I have played while bound and enjoy it very much I’m ready to have my arms tied behind my back and try other more retained knotts and I’m even excited to be suspended into the air wrapped in the Beauty of rope. The possibility’s are endless and it is a art to me … and mindful task I’ll say again a grounding activity … and empowering hobbie and loveing motion . A freeing feeling I can not describe… Shibari much more then that . Thanks for tuning in have a beautiful day loves
I read a lot of posts/asks here on Tumblr that make me want to scream, “Get out! Run away!” Over, and over again, I see submissives ignoring the warning signs of an abusive, or ‘fuckboy’, Dominant. So, I thought assembling a list of what to watch out for might help even one submissive stand up for herself, and to me that’s definitely worth the effort. I hope other submissives will comment and add any warning signs that I’ve missed, in hopes that they reach someone out there that might find courage in seeing them in black and white.
You should be reevaluate your Dominant (or prospective Dominant) if they…
-Disappear for a day or more without any contact or explanation
-Withdraw attention as punishment
-Ask whether you like anal before asking about your hobbies
-Tell you that ‘as the Dominant’ they don’t owe you an explanation when they’re ‘too busy’
-Habitually limit your contact with others
-Have nothing nice to say about any of their former significant others
-Tell you that you misunderstood the situation instead of apologizing, or comforting you, when you are upset
-Never say please
-Tell you boundaries are meant to be pushed
-Complain if you use your safeword, or if say you don’t want to try something
-Get mad when you ask about the reasoning behind a decision
A day? Most of this list I’m all for, but please recognize people have lives.
For myself its not uncommon to vanish for 2-3 days when I get caught up with work and training and I can’t be the only one.
Be transparent, but people get busy outside of tumblr. Patience is a virtue.
In my book, outside of emergency situations, there is no reason to disappear for more than a day without, as I said, “contact or explanation.”
That is a matter of priority. If you’re a surgeon and you have a 30 hour shift you send a message beforehand and say “on call this weekend and won’t be in contact. Love you”.
99.9999% of situations there is no excuse for not taking literally 30 seconds to tell someone what’s going on.
Sorry if you disagree, but for ME, unless you have an emergency, (which would mean there is an explanation afterward other than “I was busy”) that’s 100% a dealbreaker.
I’m with @pleasurewhore on this being a dealbreaker. My first D/s experience ended because there was increasing unpredictability about when he would be in touch, including a couple of isolated days of no contact toward the end, and I couldn’t handle that. Because, you see, D/s involves a lot of vulnerability and trust, and if I was opening myself up, being willing to submit, and I needed to know, both at a conscious and practical level, and at a subconscious instinctive level, that it was safe for me to do that, and—to use an awkward metaphor—would definitely be caught every time I stepped off a vulnerability ledge. The dynamic ended amicably, and I didn’t fault him for it; it was just a clear sign that we had different expectations, that what he could offer and what I needed didn’t align, and in short, that we weren’t a good match.
In response to the “people have lives” person, yes, they do. And people have lives outside of Tumblr. But unless the dynamic in question is very specifically only messing around on Tumblr, I don’t think people having “lives outside of Tumblr” is at all a reason for lapses in communication. For me, for a lot of people, and I think certainly for the intended audience of this red flags list, D/s is a real thing that has real impact on people’s real lives and priorities and state of wellbeing.
If you happen to be looking for something casual, then more power to you! You’re entirely within your right to do so, and I will defend it as a legitimate choice. But if a D/s dynamic is meant to have any real bearing on a person’s real self, then “getting caught up with work” and the like just doesn’t work as a reason, because it clearly demonstrates—and not favorably—where the dynamic ranks in priorities.
Speaking personally again, and with my flavor of submission in mind, there would be no point in pursuing it at all if I didn’t intend to let it hold a position of priority in my life. Where specifically it falls in, say, the top 3 priorities, I think there’s some fluidity there, and that will certainly vary even for people interested in 24/7 D/s. In short, though, the vulnerability that is needed on my part in order to submit to someone is totally incompatible with a “just Tumblr” dynamic, or with falling low on someone else’s life priorities list.
That’s right, I’m reblogging again because I think this is spot on. ^^^
Casual relationships are fine, and legitimate, but that’s just not how I do D/s.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this sort of behavior, and I’ve watched a couple day absence send a good friend spiraling into depressive anxious behavior. I don’t know any subs personally who would be okay with this lack of contact, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. This is ‘Red Flags’ for people to look for and think about. Not having anything nice to say about Ex-submissives isn’t necessarily a deal breaker for everyone either, but it is a red flag. Personally I think if you’re going to be taking absences of a day or more that’s got to be a negotiated part of the relationship.
A 30 second message is no time at all …. that’s the time in an elevator or walking from your car. 30 seconds to make your partner know that they are important - surely they deserve that?!!!! It doesn’t have to be an essay - no one is asking for that ….just a message to know that they are acknowledged. If you can’t do that………………….
This needs to be spread around more. To all the subs out there, be wary of does that are just assholes in disguise!
