#avengers headcanon

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Loki After Joining the Avengers

Loki: I think I’m getting better at this! I didn’t even stab that mortal!

Peter Parker, exited for Loki: Yeah, that was so awesome Mr Loki! We’re so proud of you!

Loki, smug: No Stabbing Tuesdays, a new tradition!

Peter Parker: Yeah! Woo Hoo! :D (high fives Loki)

_________________________________________

Tony:… Should I be happy they’re getting along or concerned?

Thor:Both

Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you come to school with me tomorrow?

Loki: Why? What happened?

Peter Parker: I have an assignment to bring something important to me to school and I was hoping if you’ll go.

Loki, happily crying and hugging Peter: You’re important to me too Spiderchild!

Thor: Loki, can you…?

Loki:No

Thor: *walks out of the room and walks back in with Peter*

Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you…? :D

Loki: Yes, of course sweet Spiderchild :)

Thor, sighing : … Really, Brother?

Loki: We’ll what did you expect, Thor?

Loki: How can I possibly say no to the Spiderchild’s adorable face!?

Peter Parker, walking with Loki at the zoo: Let’s do something fun together, Mr Loki!

Loki, smiling: Very well, lead the way.

Peter Parker : Oh! How about we make some balloon animals?

Loki: Alright, but aren’t you scared of balloons?

Peter Parker : Pfft…no.Why would I be scared of balloons? I’ve fought villains who tried to kill me. These are nothing.

Peter Parker : *tries to tie balloon*

Peter Parker : *balloon pops*

Peter Parker : *unholy screaming*

Peter Parker : *clutches Loki’s arm*

Loki:

Loki, patting Peter on the head comfortingly: Let’s go look at the snakes.

[Loki ended up burning down the balloon stall while Peter was not looking]

Learning How to Drive with Loki, Peter Parker and Steve

{Theory}

Steve: So, you’re driving and Thor and Peter walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Loki: Oh, definitely Thor. I could never hurt the Spiderchild.

Steve, trying not to sigh: The brakes, Loki. You hit the brakes.

_________________________________________

{Responding to Hand Signals}

[after hijacking one of Tony’s cars to prove Steve wrong (obviously bringing Peter along)]

Loki: You see Spiderchild, I’m an amazing driver

[someone on the street flips Loki off]

Loki: I’m going to run him over, don’t tell the Soldier

Peter Parker: MR LOKI NO!

Loki: MR LOKI YES!

_________________________________________

{Reverse Gear}

[after running over the rude pedestrian]

Peter Parker: Is he dead?

Loki:No

Loki: (proceeds to run over the pedestrian again then drives off with Peter)

Part 2

xastrid-haddockx:

MCU Headcanons

~Pre and Post Infinity War and Endgame~

  • Morgan’s first word is hewo(pronounced he-wo) which in normal language would be hero. If you didn’t get it, hero, as in everyone in mcu.
  • Clint’s son Cooper has perfect eyesight but his brother Nathaniel needs glasses.
  • Cassie, Scott’s daughter, is very observant of the littlest things (coz her dad is ant-man).
  • This is why, later in life, she becomes a scientist in molecular biology.
  • Natasha is very close to Clint’s family, mainly his daughter Lila.
  • She teaches Lila how to fight while Clint refines Lila’s archery.
  • After Natasha dies, Lila practices her moves everyday coz it reminds her of Nat.
  • Steve starts to understand the present a lot better and realizes people’s beliefs have evolved and they have become more accepting. He respects that but it takes him some time to accept the same things.

headcanon that the og6 avengers used to regularly go to elementary schools and give presentations about being superheroes. It was Happy’s idea because he thought it would be fun for kids and give the avengers more good press.

Steve always volunteered to read the mandated slideshow about superheroes very enthusiastically

Nat would be making silly faces at the kids during the slideshow presentation so they wouldn’t be bored

Tony would always step up after the presentation and go, “that was stupid but thanks cap, who’s ready for demonstrations?” and shoot his blasters at the box/folder/whatever labeled ‘homework’ and completely destroy it. “Thank me later,” he said

Bruce would then awkwardly declare “it’s free time now! Show us what you’re working on!” when he saw the teacher’s devastated face as they stared at the pile of ash where their homework folder used to be. Then all the kids would rush up and grab the Avenger’s hands and show them their art pictures and science projects and ask them questions. Somehow Bruce always ended up helping multiple kids with their worksheets, and sometimes those same kids would send him letters and say “i got a A+ on miy mutipcashun homewrk thak u mr. Baner” and Bruce felt really happy he helped the kids understand things.

Thor always got a lot of questions about what his hammer was for, and somehow that led to him putting the hammer down and offering to let the kids try and pick it up. “Tommy do not be discouraged, it takes an incredible warrior to lift this hammer, I have no doubt someday you will be that warrior.” “Abby thou are the most courageous maiden I have ever had the pleasure of meeting (besides my dear companion Lady Sif) for you did not let one failed try defeat you.” “Have faith in thyself, Alex, do not let anyone discourage you from trying new things.” “Children, just because you were unable to lift the hammer today does not mean you are unworthy, do not give up! Like thy comrade Abby, thou must give many attempts at things in life.”

Clint would wander around with the kids and compliment their art work and science projects and every other minute he was pulling a piece of candy out of his pocket and giving it to a kid. the next thing that you knew each kid had ended up with a pile of candy as big as their head. The other avengers were always baffled because where did he keep all this candy??? surely it couldn’t all fit in his pocket??? but clint never gave away his secret.

the-elle-hypothesis:

the avengers as parents (part 1):


  • pepper: pepper is the kind of mother who would comfort you for even the smallest problem. she wouldn’t say “stop crying” or “go to your room” as soon as you started nagging, even if it’s about school. she’d sit and talk to you and help you resolve the problem. she’s the most supporting mother ever and morgan is lucky to have her. she’s the kind of person to say “there’s food at home” when you suggest getting take out but her cooking’s good so win win right?
  • tony: tony’s the dad who would sit and help you with your math homework at the table but you wouldn’t start crying because he’s intimidating and you don’t understand; you’d start crying because he’s explaining it in his own logic which makes no sense. he’d get you plenty of snacks and is always willing to go to a mcdonald’s drive through (even if there’s food at home). if he’s watching tv you’re not allowed to change the channel; even if he’s asleep in front of the tv. tony would make a special schedule just to control who has the tv each hour and gives himself the most screentime.
  • steve: steve is the old school parent who puts a curfew for you or tells you you’re not allowed to watch tv past 8. dinners always eaten at the dinner table and that’s when he asks about your day. no cursing at home obviously cause it’s bad manners. but steve is the kind of dad who’s always willing to spend quality time with you no matter what. he doesn’t really watch tv so you get to watch tv but everything has to be pg-13. he asks a lot of questions about pop culture and every time you use internet slang, he’ll ask “wait, what does that mean?”
  • nat: natasha is the cool mom who stays out of your business, either because she actually does not give a shit or because she knows you need space. you do have curfews but only depending on where you’re going (she’s the protective mom). she spends time with you (mostly in front of the tv when you turn it on for background noise) and you have little talks late at night. whenever you both have time, she trains you even though she tells you she’s never gonna let you fight but you need to know how to protect yourself. she always gets takeout or makes cup noodle for dinner because she claims she can’t cook but occasionally does on special occasions.

welldressedandfandolobsesed:

Post-Endgame domestic headcannons

  • everyone lives
  • Steve and Bucky move into a little brownstone in Brooklyn
  • and of course Bucky quickly forced Steve to adopt a cat he doesn’t want(Alpine)
  • Bucky also starts teaching kids self-defence at a martial arts studio
  • when Bucky has lessons Steve will come to and either watch him(sometimes assisting him for examples) or he goes to the café next door where he quickly befriends the workers
  • specifically a bisexual goth college kid who is doing her best to teach him modern things
  • let’s say when the team gets together they are very confused by the 90+ year old referencing gen z things
  • Nat moves in with her sister a few blocks from Steve and Bucky
  • Nat trains Yelena to take over her position in a newly public S.H.I.E.L.D
  • Nat countines to work with her parents to track down former widows
  • the dominio effect cause her two families to meet
  • let’s say the rest of the team is very shocked
  • Sam buys a new apartment closest to the new S.H.I.E.L.D
  • he makes sure it had an extra bedroom just in case any superhero’s need to crash
  • it ends up bring Wanda and Vision for a few months while their Westview house is being built
  • Peter and Aunt May spend weekends at Stark cabin along with Harley who once bring undusted applied to M.I.T
  • Needless to say Tony is happy to see his two sons bonding
  • After the battle Bruce completely a banded his professor Hulk form and moved to New Asgard with Thor and Loki
  • Thor still gives the king position to Valkerye
  • At lest once a month the team tries meets up for bonding activities
  • such activities include game night, movie night, mini golf, and the zoo(should i make headcanons about these?)
  • not everyone can always make it but the others make sure to keep them updated on anything stupid that happened

asexual-wintersoldier:

marvel headcanons

  • tony hides his coffee maker from Peter ONLY from ten PM to six AM
  • Steve ate a bar of soap once because Natasha told him it was candy and he didnt want to be rude and spit it out
  • sam calls ‘fight or flight response’ the 'flight or flight response’
  • Bucky has a never ending storage of candy in his apartment and at the compound
  • Bruce has pulled one prank in his life and it was on Tony when he switched all of the AI to say 'harder daddy’ whenever Tony said something
  • Thor snuck loki into the compound once and it took tony eight seconds to realize he was there

Natasha being a spider mamma to Peter would include:

  • when Peter had a rough day and he just needs someone to listen, he goes to Nat. She’s a great listener and he never feels like she’s judging him, just that she’s there for him
  • Peter is one of the few people Natasha gives hugs to
  • Natasha teaches Peter fighting skills and they train every morning
  • Nat calls Peter cute nick names in Russian including “baby spider”
  • Nat always manages to get Peter the perfect Christmas and birthday gifts
  • Natasha comes to all of Peter’s school things, like academic decathlon competitions and graduation
  • when Peter wanted to prank Harley one day, Nat agreed to be his accomplice. He found out she was way better at pranks then he’d thought. Since that day they team up on April Fools Day and the rest of the Avengers know to fear them
  • just knowing Peter is in the tower makes Nat smile more easily
  • Peter has less nightmares when he sleeps at the tower and he knows Nat’s there
  • when he does have nightmares, Natasha is usually in the living room watching tv cause she has a hard time sleeping, and she’ll tell him stories of her life, everything from growing up in Ohio to assassinating the prime minister of Turkey
  • somehow she always manages to make these stories funny or light hearted and Peter always calms down listening to her voice
  • if Peter is having a hard time in the middle of the day at school he only needs to text Nat and she’ll show up ten minutes later with a convenient note from Peter’s doctor that says he has an appointment right now
  • she’ll take him to get ice cream or to see a movie or whatever fun thing they feel like doing
  • one time when this happened they were just driving and Peter spotted a car wash
  • five minutes later they were going through the car wash
  • Peter slowly started rolling down his window while looking at Nat mischievously out of the corner of his eye
  • Nat looked at him and suddenly realized he was the closest thing to a child she would ever have
  • she reached across to the passenger seat to hug him but that was the exact moment he fully rolled the window down and they both ended up covered in soapy water and bubbles
  • but they were both laughing too hard to care

headcanon that Tony used to take Morgan on “treasure hunts”. He would hide little trinkets and things he knew Morgan would like in the woods around the cabin and go with her on an adventure to find them.

Now Peter does it instead, and one of the things he hides for Morgan to find is always an iron man related trinket.

outerspacesteve:

headcanon #2: christmas at the avengers compound

Tony would definitely go all out when decorating the compound for Christmas. he hires a decorating team and the tree in the common room is the biggest, most expensive artificial Christmas tree, decorated to the nines with gaudy baubles, huge bows, and a strict colour scheme, all done by the decorating team. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and tacky and over-the-top - almost like the huge Christmas trees you see in Christmas films - but he did it because he thought that’s what everyone wanted, and because he knew they deserved the best Christmas he could give them.

When all the other Avengers see it, they all stare at it, unsure how to react, but they all go “wow” and go about their day. None of them really like it, but no one says anything because they don’t want to hurt him. But, after noticing too many people avoiding the common room, and too much tension, Tony confronts either Nat or Steve about it. They tell him that while everyone appreciates the effort, it’s not them - they all wanted to decorate the compound and the tree together as a family. They tell him not to worry about it though - everyone’s used to it now and maybe next year they can decorate together.

The next morning, everyone wakes up to see not a single Christmas decoration left in the compound - the Christmas tree, everything, gone without a trace. Tony walks into the common room, where everyone is staring around in confusion. He offers no explanation, just tells them that he’s “taking them somewhere, it’s a surprise, but dress warm. be ready in half an hour.”

An hour or so later, they end up at a Christmas tree farm. More confusion ensues. Tony explains that he had wanted to have cosy, familial Christmas with them, doing Christmassy things together, but he thought that the fancy, expensive Christmas was what people would have wanted, but that he realised he was wrong, and that they were going to spend the remaining days until Christmas with each other, doing all of the things everyone originally wanted to do.

Wanda knows how to pick out the perfect Christmas tree. She knows which one will last the longest, which one has the best needles, which one will fit in the common room, and most importantly, which one is right for them. Steve and Bucky chop the tree down and carry it to the area where they pay for it, and then they secure it to the roof of the car.

Back at the compound, Nat reveals that she knows the best sugar cookie recipe, and Sam makes an unmatched hot chocolate. Clint says he knows the secret to making a gingerbread house that doesn’t collapse every five seconds, but between Peter and Scott’s excitement, it does inevitably, anyway. The baking doesn’t end well - flour covers every surface, thanks to Sam and Bucky’s food fight. The cookies are mostly burnt because they forgot to set a timer, but the ones that were salvageable were delicious. It turns out that Doctor Strange is great at decorating cookies, but he doesn’t get very far, because Peter eats the icing straight out of the tub. The gingerbread lies collapsed in an unrecognisable pile on the counter, coated in all the icing and sweets that they could find. Either way, it’s perfect.

Scott knows the best Christmas movies and knows all the words when they do Christmas karaoke. Rhodey is surprisingly good at karaoke. Bruce knows how to make Christmas wreaths, which they all attempt, but give up on very quickly because it’s too complicated. Doctor Strange and Bruce, however, keep at it, and they end up with two brilliant Christmas wreaths for the compound.

Carol is the best any of them have ever seen at wrapping presents. Steve tries, bless him, but he’s not very good at it. He never had enough money before the war to buy presents, and even if he did, he’d just fold a sheet of newspaper around it, and no one taught him how to wrap presents properly after he came out of the ice and could afford gifts.

Thor and Vision don’t much understand what’s going on because they don’t celebrate Christmas in Asgard, but Thor does love the mulled wine and he’s heard that on Christmas day, there’ll be a huge roast turkey, so he’s looking forward to that.

The last thing they do is decorate the tree. Steve and Bucky insist on tinsel and multi-coloured lights, despite Nat’s claims that no one uses tinsel anymore, because they could never afford things like that growing up. “Don’t forget to decorate the back!” Wanda commands. The tree ends up covered in a mix-match of decorations, all of varying shapes, sizes and colours, some even of which were handmade. It’s crowded - some of the branches even droop at the weight of all the decorations. It’s messy but it’s perfect, and it’s them.

Tony stands back, watching his family all having fun with each other, all wearing joyous expressions on their faces. He watches Peter crouch down to Morgan’s height, sees him say something to her, but can’t hear it, sees him hand something to her, but he can’t see what. Then, Peter is turning around, and Morgan is climbing onto his back. Peter stands up and walks over to the wall by the Christmas tree, where he starts climbing up it, with Morgan clutching onto his shoulders and grinning brightly. Once he reaches the height of the tree, he stops. He keeps one hand on the wall, the other coming off to hold tightly onto Morgan’s back. Tony finally realises what’s in Morgan’s hand. She leans over Peter’s shoulder, towards the tree, biting her lip and furrowing her brow in concentration, and places the star on the top of the Christmas tree. Peter grins radiantly, telling her “well done,” as she beams and claps her hands together in front of his face.

Tony smiled. This was what Christmas was all about. And it was perfect.

headcanon that one day Sam bought a record player for avengers tower so he could listen to Marvin Gaye high quality. But this becomes a problem when Bucky buys Taylor Swift vinyls and wants to use the record player too (Peter introduced Bucky to Taylor and ever since he’s been obsessed, his favorite album is evermore).

It quickly becomes a daily battle between Sam and Bucky over who can get to the record player first at any given time and how long the other gets to use it.

this results in a lot of trash talk, Bucky insults Marvin Gaye (even though he doesn’t mind his music much. or at all. maybe he kinda likes it) and Sam throws shade on Taylor Swift (even though he kinda likes her music)

but since Bucky doesn’t actually know anything about Marvin Gaye he invents random things to throw at Sam, like “you wouldn’t think Marvin was so great if you knew he killed a baby sloth” and Sam is just like “????” (bucky tries, ok)

anyway, this debate lasts for quite a while, until Wanda sends them to see Dr. Raynor about this specific issue, and they agree to share the record player equally

(“marvin still killed a baby sloth though” bucky says when they’re leaving. Dr. raynor makes a note to talk to Bucky about that in his next session)

a-marvel-headcannon:

Name

• Natasha isn’t Black Widow’s actual name. Neither is Natalia. Not many people know it either.

• Nick Fury doesn’t even know it. He thinks he does, but he only knows as far back as to the name she was given in Red Room.

• The only one to know the name she was given originally is Clint Barton. She had told him to show how much she trusted him and how grateful she was for what he did for her.

• Clint has never told anyone her real name. It is a secret that he will take to the grave.

uselesslavalamp:

1. Every Valentines Day the avengers wake up combat-ready on full-alert, prepared to spend the day fighting a seemingly unconquerable foe.

2. That enemy is Hawkeye. Every Valentine’s day he goes around masquerading at cupid shooting people with plastic arrows. The people he hits have to ask their crush out before midnight.

3. The suction cups on the end of the plastic arrows leave heart-shaped hickeys. This way, no one can deny they’ve been hit.

4. Hawkeye has never ever failed to hit all the avengers since he joined (yes, even Natasha, though she claims she lets him.)

5. He wears a pink camouflage suit to do all of this.

6. Clint and Wanda have a youtube channel together. They pretty much just goof off on it, but they do have a video specifically labeled “101 Ways to Annoy Your Coworkers.”

7. They have more than 101 ways though obviously so they just made the rest of the videos on how to annoy everyone.

8. Cap hates Earl Gray Tea. 

9. Nasha loves fall. Not just because it’s a pretty season but because with all the red shrubbery her hair can blend in easier.

10. Tony sleeps in the weirdest places and Steve has a bingo for all the places in the tower he’s managed to take a snooze in.

disneygirl626:

Domestic Avengers Headcanons: Bruce Banner

I’m doing Bruce next cause he deserves more love. (this one was a lot harder than I thought it would be)

Keep reading

dreamingformuses:

All the reporters in the mcu are always up the avengers’ ass when they do something wrong. Especially when they do something wrong. They get praise when they, yet again, save the fucking world. But nobody talks about how they fight everyday horrors.


Nobody talks about how Tony Stark pours millions into funding research, donating to charities to benefit students, and how his contributions help create the next generation of scientists. They only talk about his playboy past.


Nobody talks about how Steve Rogers fights for healthcare for all. “It’s not the 30s anymore!!” He yells. “Nobody should be dying of preventable diseases when we have the means to treat them!” They only talk about how he’s ‘America’s puppet’.


Nobody talks about how Bruce Banner helps people get into therapy when they need it. He doesn’t want anyone to feel trapped within themselves, because he knows from experience that’s it’s the worst feeling in the world. They only talk about how the Hulk destroyed another building on a mission.


Nobody talks about how Natasha Romanoff viciously fights against child abuse. She knows what it feels like to have the only adults in your life to hurt you as a child. The kids in the particularly abusive households send her letters and tell her about their situations. She always makes sure that the abuser is dealt with. They only talk about how she’s a cold, calculating, killing machine.


Nobody talks about how Bucky Barnes, James Rhodes, and Clint Barton advocate for disability rights. They use their influence, and in Rhodey’s case, his political sway, to get legislature protecting the disabled on the House floor. They only talk about the Winter Soldier and the corruption of SHIELD.


I’d just like to believe that the team doesn’t just sitthere when there isn’t an alien invasion. They use their abilities and influence to make the world a better place every day, not just when the have to suit up.

@penis-parkerrr@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars@ironmess

headcanons about Tony Stark’s science children (Peter, Harley, & Shuri)

  • they’re all bffs
  • Shuri is by far the most competitive of all of them, and her main rival is Tony (he can’t turn down a challenge one of his science children gives him)
  • they all come to the lab on Thursdays and weekends, even though Harley and Shuri don’t live in New York, which is why they invented portal technology
  • Shuri knew Peter was spider-man since her first week in the lab (she literally saw him jump out the window and web swing away when he thought no one was watching)
  • Harley took a while to get it, and Shuri tried everything to get him to find out, like asking him to get her a screwdriver that happened to be in the same drawer as Peter’s web fluid (Harley didn’t notice the web fluid) or pointing out how Peter had an piece of blue and red clothing sticking out of his bag (“he probably just likes spider-man and that’s his halloween costume” Harley said)
  • eventually Harley found out… when Peter trusted them enough to tell them he was spider-man. (Shuri: I’ve known for months.Harley: omg you’re spider-man????)
  • now Shuri regularly makes fun of Harley for this. He gets back at her for making fun of her being a princess and bowing when she walks into the lab, even though she’s told him a million times not to
  • even though they make fun of each other, the three of them are very supportive and are always there for each other. If Peter has a rough day he knows he can trust Harley to comfort him and Shuri to cheer him up with meme references. If Harley has a rough day he knows he can trust Peter to listen and be there and Shuri to give him advice on what to do to feel better. If Shuri has a rough day she knows she can trust Harley to distract her with a cool invention and Peter to give her a hug and remind her he’s always here to talk
  • they have a group chat and its the most chaotic thing you can imagine, and no matter how many times Tony asks, they refuse to add him
  • they’ll all skip school (or Shuri will skip royal duties) without a second thought on Avengers Tower monthly prank day. the avengers know to fear them
  • Peter and Harley have a great time introducing Shuri to American things and Shuri loves introducing them to Wakandan things
  • Shuri and Harley drink tea but Peter likes coffee so Harley started a joke of replacing Peter’s morning coffee with tea without him noticing
  • they love to help with each other’s projects
  • usually they’re all working on technology that will improve the world in some way and since they’re apprentices of Tony Stark they get invited to do interviews a lot and they have so many inside jokes that like half the interview would get edited out because nothing they talked about made any sense
  • they all have favorite avengers of the og6 (besides Tony of course, he’ll always be their most favorite). Peter’s is Thor, Shuri’s is Natasha, and Harley’s is Bruce
  • And all the avengers have a favorite science child, but they pretend they don’t
  • overall they’re pretty much a very chaotic, sciency family

Clint and Peter being Vent Bros™:

  • they became Vent Bros cause one day Peter was sleeping at the tower and he had a nightmare and he was super scared so he webbed himself into a vent
  • Clint found him and explained that the vents also made him feel safe and that’s why he started hanging out in them
  • from then on they called themselves vent bros
  • if Peter just needs space he can go up into the vent and Clint knows to let him be
  • but they also hang out up there and sometimes they play vent tag, where Peter has to try to find Clint, and Clint is very good at hiding and evading Peter cause he knows the vents so well
  • sometimes they also crawl around together spying on watching people down below
  • they’ve gotten some good blackmail material this way, but Peter is too nice to let Clint use it
  • if its prank day in Avengers Tower (they have a monthly prank day) its either Peter and Clint against the rest of the avengers or against each other, there’s no in between
  • something about the vents makes it easier to be honest, and Peter ends up telling Clint how his role as spider man weighs on him and its harder than he lets on
  • Clint tells Peter the same is true for him, being a superhero is more stressful than people realize and its ok to feel that way
  • Clint has a little nest up in the vents with pillows and blankets and books and puzzles that he goes in when he needs to relax, and Peter builds a similar one right next to his (but with webs instead of blankets)
  • if Tony is his Irondad and Natasha is his spider momma, then Clint is Peter’s hawk friend
  • Clint is just irresponsible enough for Peter to feel like he’s with someone his age
  • Peter takes his laptop up in the vents and the vent bros watch netflix together
  • sometimes you can find them curled up in their nests with a laptop between them, laughing at The Office

So is Laura Barton actually Steve and Peggy’s daughter? Like, thats what I think cause of all the secrecy and the fact that her watch was important and we all know steve and peggy did the sexy fun time at least once sooooo

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