There’s a point toward the end of Master and Commander where The Sophie is beaten and the crew is taken prisoner and I was thinking oh! A chance for drama! Maybe the next book will start with a daring escape!
And then it cuts to the French captain enthusiastically showing Jack a watercolor of the English house where he grew up, and Stephen doing silly experiments with the French doctor. An English fleet shows up and the captain goes “awww, do you think they’ll attack us? Or are they just going to port?” and when Jack says he’s pretty sure they’ll attack he’s just like “booo. Oh well, no reason to spoil breakfast over it.” And they just finish eating until a cannonball flies through the window, at which point they calmly go on deck.
there’s are many very accurate things about master and commander in that film, but i absolutely refuse to believe that one scene where a sailor’s like “oi cap’n, me brouva’s wife’s cousin once saw this ship in a dockyard he did, ‘n i made a model of it with some popsicle sticks lyin’ around” and the captain’s like “can you guarantee this is 100% accurate?” and the sailor’s like “right-o sir, swear it on me grandma’s bum” and we’re just supposed to believe that this model ship is a museum-worthy replica huh
“‘They will not be pleased. But they know we must catch the monsoon with a well-found ship; and they know they are in the Navy – they have chosen their cake, and must lie on it.’ ‘You mean, they cannot have their bed and eat it.’ ‘No, no, it is not quite that, neither. I mean – I wish you would not confuse my mind, Stephen.’”
really can’t emphasize enough that the main plot of HMS Surprise is that Jack rescues a fragile and sickly Stephen after days of brutal torture at the hands of the French and attempts to nurse him back to health only to spend the rest of the book in steadily rising panic as Stephen climbs the ratlines, does drugs, calls his ex, gets his dick out in public, starts a duel, buys a sloth, gets shot, proposes to his ex, blows his cover, drinks bird shit, kills a man, gets marooned, breaks the law, and almost adopts a nine year old
'Certainly, you must put on silk stockings. And do show a leg, my dear chap: we shall be late, without you spread a little more canvas.’
'You are always in such a hurry,’ said Stephen peevishly, groping among his possessions. A Montpelier snake glided out with a dry rustling sound and traversed the room in a series of extraordinarily elegant curves, its head held up some eighteen inches above the ground.
'Oh, oh, oh,’ cried Jack, leaping on to a chair. 'A snake!’
'Will these do?’ asked Stephen. 'They have a hole in them.’
'Is it poisonous?’
'Extremely so. I daresay it will attack you, directly. I have very little doubt of it. Was I to put my silk stockings over my worsted stockings, sure the hole would not show: but then, I should stifle with heat. Do not you find it uncommonly hot?’
'Oh, it must be two fathoms long. Tell me, is it really poisonous? On your oath now?’
'If you thrust your hand down its throat as far as it’s back teeth you may meet a little venom; but not otherwise. Malpolon monspessulanus is a very innocent serpent. I think of carrying a dozen aboard, for the rats — ah, if only I had more time, and if it were not for this foolish, illiberal persecution of reptiles… What a pitiful figure you do cut upon that chair, to be sure. Barney, Barney, buck or doe, Has kept me out of Channel Row,’ he sang to the serpent; and, deaf as an adder though it was, it looked happily into his face while he carried it away.
Master and Commander was very slow paced. It really took its time immersing you in the world, and did a good job of replicating the strange pace of being at sea.
Every page of Post Captain has something absolutely bonkers on it. The characters got off the boat and the benny hill theme immediately started playing and hasn’t stopped.
It’s like Bill & Ted crossed with Dude Where’s My Car but it’s set in the Napoleonic wars and also one of the protagonists is glued into a bear costume
