A very accurate and timely twitter thread.
(This was my addition to that post)
And how about “only use their deadname and incorrect pronouns if they ask you to” many trans/LGBTQ+ people are stuck in homes where they can’t use their correct name and pronouns.
It’s a general rule not to use deadnames and incorrect pronouns, but if a person asks you to if they’re in front of people who will kick them out or hurt them (maybe even just be horrible and rude and unaccepting), DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU. That is allyship.
Allyship is supporting people and doing whatever is necessary to keep them safe, even if you have to misgender them in front of a transphobic/homophobic person.
You can tell if that’s the case by checking the same web page on a different browser if you have a different number of stored cookies for that site. I checked something on Chegg and it was $14.95 on Chrome, $19.95 on Firefox, and $16.95 on Safari.
The fix? Clear your cookies for that website.
Reblog, save a wallet.
Plane tickets almost always do this!
PLANE TICKETS DO THIS ALL THE DAMN TIME
When you’re looking for plane tickets and waiting for prices to drop, ALWAYS clear your cookies beforehand and switch between browsers. A friend of mine was looking for a flight and getting prices that were the CHEAPEST at $800-1000, I sent her a link for a round trip that was like $495, and it read as $900 on her computer because she had been hounding the airline site.
alternatively: avoid all this headache by using incognito when shopping for plane tickets, text
Hotel rooms are notorious for this, as well. Just like, go on incognito mode to look at these sites, saves u a lot of time & hassle.
Bruh I ain’t never know dis thank you man
also if u press the “esc” (escape) key on ur laptop before the page fully loads, it won’t load any pop-ups blocking u from reading. if the article has images, then this method sometimes does not u see them. but! the words will be fine :)
Pro tip: If you copy and paste a link that said “no free articles” into a private/incognito browser, it will let you read the whole thing.
If the site is particularly badly designed, you might just be able to delete the overlay itself. Right click > Inspect element and delete the line of HTML (it’ll be highlighted automatically)
hey kids there is a website called outline.com that will let you read from pretty much any news site with a paywall for free
outline.com is amazing - it hasn’t failed yet on any site that I’ve tried it on.
something i wish i had realized earlier: you can write poems on the same subject more than once. you can write, paint, draw the same thing over and over if you want to. you can spend your whole life making art about oranges. i think i always felt this pressure to get it right the first time like i couldn’t go back and use that inspiration again. but you can. you can go back and revisit it. you can pick up the conversation again and again if you have more to say.
yall young writers out there: dont delete anything that you write. keep it, build on it. even if you dont have a plot to go along with the short blurb you wrote. even if you cant think of how to continue. sleep on it, let it settle, let it simmer. even if you’re frustrated as hell. even if you cant think of how to make it better. leave it alone for a while, wait. you never know when inspiration will hit, you never know if that short story you wrote could fit into the plot of something else you write down the road. dont delete anything that you write, because your time is valuable, and so are the words that you put out!
This is so so important! My writer friends can look back in their works from YEARS ago, and though they may laugh at it or cringe, it still something they enjoyed writing. They talk about the dynamics of each character, how the story was supposed to end, with such fondness and happiness. And sometimes they read something that they literally wrote when they were twelve, and want to try to rewrite it again. And it’s just so wonderful to see.
I wish so badly that I could experience that. But I was embarrassed by everything I did for a long time. So I deleted all evidence of my passions, so I couldn’t be put down for how bad at it I was. And I know they were garbage stories, but I still loved them. I wish I could go back and read them, the enjoyment of laughing at my old cringe is so lethargic and a special kind of nostalgia.
So please, don’t delete your writing. Put it in a folder or something where you won’t see it and won’t be tempted to delete it. Even if it doesn’t seem like it now, you’ll regret deleting it. Trust me.
reblogging again for this valuable addition!
This is so, so important!!!
The same can be said for any creative thing! Keep your old drawings and your early attempts at sewing, or at least pictures of them. You don’t need to keep all of them, but it’s good to have some so you can have a look back and see how much you’re improved.
And so when someone newer says “Oh you’re so good at (thing) I wish I could do it that well” you can show them your unfinished garbage waistcoat from 8 years ago and remind them that we all start somewhere and they’ll improve with practice.
Can I watch a great film knowing the actresses in it were terrorized and mistreated the entire time? Can I watch a football game knowing that the players are getting brain injuries right before my eyes? Can I listen to my favorite albums anymore knowing that the singers were all beating their wives in between studio sessions? Can I eat at the new fancy taco place knowing when the building that used to be there got bulldozed eight families got kicked out of their homes so they could be replaced with condos and a chain restaurant? Can I wear the affordable clothes I bought downtown that were probably assembled in a sweatshop with child labor? Can I eat quinoa? Can I eat this burger? Can I drink this bottled water? Can I buy a car and drive to work because I’m sick of taking an hour each way on the subway? Whose bones do I stand on? Whose bones am I standing on right now?
On one hand, it’s a privilege to be able to choose to acknowledge these horrors or not–we’re going to acknowledge that privilege. On the other hand, I once attended a lecture by the explorerer-conservationist Jacques-Yves Cousteau’s daughter and son and they had a lot of opinions about what we could do to help the environment and the ocean and I talked about how in my country, we haveto drink bottled water, because it’s a desert and there’s only salt water all around, but we’re contributing to pollution and all of these things…
And she looked at me and told me not to fall into the trap of “activist guilt.” I couldn’t remember the exact words, but, it was the first time I’d heard the term and it took a weight off my shoulders.
We do what we can. It’s so much better than giving up entirely or not doing anything at all because we can’t do it perfectly. It doesn’t benefit anyone in the end if we just sit around feeling guilty about every little thing in life. I’d just joined tumblr back then (haha, so like, eight or nine years ago at this point?), I was being exposed to way more than I’d ever been before (I was previously just into feminism and animal rights/wildlife conservation/environmentalism since I was a kid), and it was weighing on me.
As long as humans are humans and living flawed lives, many consumed by greed, there will not be anything in this world untouched by evil.
I usually avoid stuff that says it was made in China or other cheap looking knockoffs, out of fear of them being made in sweatshops (now, I know even a lot of big brands use those…), it’s exhausting. Then, I read something about how people who actually lived and worked in those would still buy this cheap stuff and how this shocked the foreigner reporting on it, but they just looked confused like, it’s what they can afford and them avoiding consuming it isn’t going to change the whole system from the ground-up.
… it went on about how “money talks” and choosing where to put your money still feeds the whole capitalist system and is nearly a way of comforting yourself, but you not buying doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t. What needs to be tackled is at a much higher level than any of us can reach.
Of course, I’d still, given the choice, give my money to companies I agree with and I’ll boycott what I knowto support awful stuff, but I also feel no superiority over this and know now it’s not as black and white or easy as I thought it was.
This is the same reason that moral purity “you can’t enjoy [x] because it’s Problematic ™” is such nonsense, because nothing is pure.There’s something bad about everything if you dig deep enough. As long as we lived in flawed human societies we’ve got to make the best of what they offer us. If you have the choice and means, please, dosupport those who do good, but also, don’t beat yourself up over not living up to an unattainable ideal.
No one can. You’ll just make yourself so miserable, you either burn up and stop fighting entirely or you’ll make yourself a non-productive, depressed heap just out of a bleeding heart left unchecked. You can’t make a change to this world if you refuse to engage in it.
Purity is one of the worst, most harmful myths humans ever invented.
Rebloging for this amazing reply telling us how to actually handle this, because yeah, sometimes I’ll simply shut down trying to find something that doesn’t cause harm to anyone
A 15th-century book on manners, newly digitized by The British Library, is filled with rules that wouldn’t be out of place in a first-grade classroom today: Don’t spit at the table, don’t burp, and for goodness sake, stop picking your nose.
Well, make that “pyke notte thyne errys northyr thy nostrellys” (pick not thine ears nor thy nostrils), as the book is written in Middle English. The manuscript is called “The Lytille Childrenes Lytil Boke,” the two spellings of “little” harking back to a time before English spelling was standardized. Originally published in 1480, during the transition from the Middle Ages to the Renaissance in Europe, the book was part of a genre known as “courtesy books,” according to The British Library.
Courtesy books were full of advice on table manners and other rules, and they were popular between the 13th and 18th centuries in Europe, according to the library. This particular copy was part of a larger manuscript that focused mostly on domestic concerns, from carving meat to bloodletting methods. It may have once belonged to or been used by a child named Maria, as that name is doodled on one of the pages. Read more.
I wasn’t actually expecting any answers when I made that post but damn this is really helpful, thank you <3
here’s what i’ve figured out so far:
-gotta have eat first
-gotta sleep enough first
(seriously so many days i’m like “i have all afternoon I’ma Do a Thing” and then i just kinda buzz around and do Nothing and think “WHY” and then i’m like “oh yeah i’m really fuckening tired”)
-gotta be Excited About It (ADHD brain only does things if they’re Literally the Most Interesting Thing Happening Right Now) (so like, hype yourself up to work on a project, or think about how happy you’ll be with a cleaner room/all those chores done)
-gotta have small, doable first step (like, “get cloth from fabric drawer” or “open google docs”
-FUCK distractions (computer is in drawer, phone is Off)
-Engage the Senses (if task needs Brain, play vague background Music, if task needs No Brain, listen to audiobook/podcast)
-maybe set time limit so i don’t get lost??? e.g. i have a little egg timer that i use because the ticking isn’t distracting but is enough to remind me that Time is a Thing that is Passing Right Now
-gotta have Self Awareness and Thinky about the Moment (get into the habit of Consciously Noticing what you’re doing at the moment, so you’re more likely to go “wait, this isn’t what i wanted to be doing” and be able to redirect)
-be willing to redirect and try to do something else if whatever you want to do Just Isn’t Happening
-DON’T beat yourself up for only doing part of something, or failing entirely- all that does is make your brain associate “trying to do stuff” with “well that SUCKED”. Which means you don’t want to try again. Tell urself u did good for trying, and if it didn’t work, try again later, or figure out why it didn’t work and try a different way. Reward yourself for trying
this is what i’ve figured out about cajoling the Thinky No Worky Brain into Doing Stuff. it’s not 100% reliable, especially if I forget to do some of these things (like SLEEP), but it’s what i got, ya know??
I gotta ask, how do people, like, do stuff???
fun tip for cis people: instead of saying “back when she was a he” or “back before [birthname] became [preferred name]”, try not being a pile of shit by saying something like “before she came out” or “before she began her transition”!
Pls friends and thanks.
“before she came out” is so easy and preserves so much dignity, PLEASE
I’ve been wondering the best way to say this. Thank you.
also if their transition is irrelevant to the story, don’t bring it up! just say “when X was a kid/ younger/ in college/ etc” and carry on using their current name and pronouns.
That last point is very important! DO NOT OUT ANYONE! Do not bring up their trans status or transition unnecessarily! And you trying to look more interesting/cool/whatever by having a trans friend does not count as “neccessary”!!
I havent seen anyone talk about this yet so im making a post.
So lets say you’re researching something for a paper (or just for fun) and the research paper you want to read is behind a paywall, or the site makes you create an account first, or makes you pay to download, or limits you to only 5 free articles, or otherwise makes it difficult for you to read what you want.
do not fear! copy the link to the article
go to sci-hub.se (the url is always changing so its best to check out whereisscihub.now.sh to find what the current url is)
slap the article link in there
bam! free access!
stop picking at your lip
and you, over there? leave your cuticles alone.
anddon’ttouch that weird bump at the back of your scalp, for fuck’s sake
so much as thinkabout biting the inside of your cheeks and I will come to your house and Getyou
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY WEIRD SCALP BUMP!!!???
I҉̲̠͕͉͖̟͠ ̦̺͔̯͉̟s͏̣̝̮͖͔e͖̝̘͈̙̺ę̵͕̞͉̩̲ͅ ̹͠a̛̺̟̘͍̱͟ļ̠̖̝͈͖̘̳̺͟͠l̢͍̠̹̥̮͓ ̪̖̤͟à͙̪̞̥̲̘͞͞n̸̢̮͝d̨̢̘̲͝ ̡͍̗͝k̰n̡̺̤̙̺͚͙͞o̲̝w̻̥̘͓̘͖͈̳͝ ̩̥͓͉ͅá̡͖̫̘̲͚̗l̠̦͟l̶̸̡̩̹̘.̪̳̪̯
I was literally picking at my lip and when I read this I almost had a heart attack