We soon found that customers did not respect our arguments of public health, considering others, or the mandates. We switched to telling them “this is private property” and I’m sorry to say that was way more effective than “please, people with cancer pick up their medications here”
This country is a failed state built on childish selfishness.
Hi just letting y’all know that Sia, the artist, is making what is essentially a big “F you” to autistic people. She is collaborating with Autism Speaks which is an organization that believes autism is something to be cured and treats autistic people like burdens. It is another run of the mill inspiration p**n movie for non autistic people and able bodied people to feel like they have compassion and understanding for us. For any of you who are not autistic and are able bodied, please do not support this film as it perpetuates bad stereotypes about autism and disabled individuals.
The fact that she used a neurotypical actress to represent a neurodivergent character definitely isn’t great, but on its own it really isn’t the end of the world.
But her rude responses to people being upset? Her shitty treatment to her autistic fans? Her shitty treatment to Maddie, the actress who was uncomfortable with her role? Her partnering with fucking Autism Speaks? Absolutely disgusting. Straight ableism.
Try harder.
I queued this a little while ago so I feel that I should add that Autism Speaks themselves put out a disclaimer saying they had no part in what Sia did and disagree with her actions.
The god awful ableist hate group is doing better than her. That’s low.
Hi just letting y’all know that Sia, the artist, is making what is essentially a big “F you” to autistic people. She is collaborating with Autism Speaks which is an organization that believes autism is something to be cured and treats autistic people like burdens. It is another run of the mill inspiration p**n movie for non autistic people and able bodied people to feel like they have compassion and understanding for us. For any of you who are not autistic and are able bodied, please do not support this film as it perpetuates bad stereotypes about autism and disabled individuals.
The fact that she used a neurotypical actress to represent a neurodivergent character definitely isn’t great, but on its own it really isn’t the end of the world.
But her rude responses to people being upset? Her shitty treatment to her autistic fans? Her shitty treatment to Maddie, the actress who was uncomfortable with her role? Her partnering with fucking Autism Speaks? Absolutely disgusting. Straight ableism.
April is Autism Acceptance month! You want to be accepting? You want to be supportive? Be accommodating.
People will say they accept autism, and then berate us for being autistic. Don’t tell us you accept us when you regularly punish us for being ourselves.
First image: Black text on a distressed red background that reads “Disability is not a slur.
Second Image: Black text on an orange distressed background that reads "Autism/Autistic is not a slur.”
Third image: Black text on a yellow distressed background. It reads “We need to destigmatize the word disability. It’s not a slur, it’s not a swear word, and it’s not dirty. It’s simply a descriptor/label. But you know what are slurs? Words that actually hurt disabled people? The r-slur, cripple, lame, dumb, handicapable, deranged, deformed, crazy, insane. Most of these are still used as insults. Or equated to something bad.”
Fourth image: Black text on a red distressed background. It reads “Disabled people are already living in a world that was not made for us. A little consideration, even just about word choice, can make all the difference.
Fifth image: Black text on a yellow distressed background. It’s titled ‘Sources’ at the top of the image, which is then followed by a list of sources:
Something that I was unable to mention in the above infographic, the reason that words like insane or crazy are harmful because they reinforce that those are morally awful, horrible things, or at the very least something to be ashamed of. This is inaccurate and it only adds to the saneist propaganda already out there. The same goes for using the words 'blind’ and 'deaf’ in the wrong situations, like saying "Man I’m so deaf hahaha” or “Wow I really must be going blind.”
Me: I’m chronically ill which makes me disabled. I managed to adjust my life so I can live as comfortably as possible, which means I don’t work, being poor, and not doing much. Sometimes I have to sleep all day, sometimes I go on hikes with my dog, sometimes I exist, sometimes I want to kill myself. That’s my life and I’m okay with it.
Ppl: BbUuuTTt — ThAt soUndS dEpreSSinNngG!
Ppl: buTtT — I COulDn'TttT lIvE liKe thIsS!
Ppl: BbuUUTtTtT — iSn’T tHEre ANyThiNg THaT caNn bE DoNe tO chAnGe YOur depREssIng stAte?
Ppl: bUuuUtT — LivE iS abOUt LIVING, NOT EXISTING!
Ppl: buTT — hOw cAn yOu LIvee LikE tHat?
Ppl: buTttTTTTT — DoNt be So neGaTiVe, if IT wAsS mE, I WouLd bE mORe HopEFuLl, That thEre WiLL Be a CuRe, AND My dePreSsIng LIfesTyLe WoUlD eNd.
Ppl: BUttT — YOure SUCH AN INSPIRATION!!! I wOuLdvE kIlleD MYsElf By NoW!
Me: Well, at this point we should think about who is the really negative person in this conversation.
Ppl:
Ppl:
Ppl:
Ppl: Yeah, no, you’re negative, saying you’re disabled is negative, disability is okay in and of itself, but don’t call yourself disabled, because that’s so negative, not having goals and not accomplishing anything in life is a wasted life, contributing to society is important, you’re so poor for not seeing how you’re wasting your life, you should really try to change something, although I admire you, because I would have killed myself by now, just saying.
Also people with reading comprehension issues saying they can’t just sit down and read theory and need other sources like videos/audiobooks/etc isn’t fucking childish. Indicating that we’re lazy for not wanting to struggle our way through hell like we did when we were students is ableist as fuck. Just because systems built by conservatives fail to include us doesn’t mean you get to as well.
The world is geared towards non-disabled people and if you can’t understand that your leftism is shallow and garbage.
I cannot put into words how much I do not care about people who ‘fake being disabled for benefits’ cause a) it’s wildly blown out of proportion, is a very damaging rhetoric and is a huge waste of time and resources b) I do not trust the government to decide or be able to tell who is and who isn’t 'faking’ and c) if someone is going through that much hassle for such a comparatively small reward then they probably need the money and I’d rather they have it than not.
Oooohhhhhh PPPRRRREEEEEAAAACCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Also, do y'all know how BORING being disabled/chronically ill and not being able to do stuff can be? Every “normal” person quits after a few months because there are only so many movies/TV series to watch, online games to play, books to read, records to sort, cupboards/closets to empty and rearrange, stuff to do around the house, blankets to knit… Believe me. (Insertion: Would I be glad to be able to do all that.)
So you wanna go outside at some point. But guess what: Ppl will ask you what you’re doing outside during daytime when everybody else is working. So you should be able to explain what kind of disability you have. And then ppl will ask you: But… It can’t be that bad, you’re able to take a walk, so why aren’t you working?! Well… Believe me! You’ll only be able to have that conversation a few times before you get super annoyed and try to stay at home (because you’ll meet ppl who know you literally everywhere and every time you’ll have to explain that, yes, you’re still disabled/sick, and no, you’re not better yet, and also no, you’re still not able to work). But at home it’s boring again.
In conclusion: Even if somebody was trying to fake it, they wouldn’t be able to keep the scheme up for very long because basically, non-disabled ppl don’t have the eagerness to do it. It needs a lot of physical and emotional strength to be disabled - it is almost impossible to fake it over a long period of time.
i’m tired and angry and i just wanna give a special fuck you to every teacher who implied that using “complex” language meant you were cheating or sucking up, when in fact that’s just how a lot of neurodivergent/autistic kids (and adults) naturally sound
My thoughts indeed
This is so me. I used to use really complicated sentences and stuff, but did a lot mistakes bc i was dyslexic - which of course nobody told me. So the complexity of what I was saying resulted in even more mistakes. Since our school system only counts mistakes… Well… I was a bad student. Of course. Because how else would it be?
This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?
Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.
So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.
I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.
Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.
Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.
I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.
Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)
I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.
They didn’t like eye contact either.
Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.
Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.
“But they never talked!”
No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.
So you know what happened?
My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.
“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.
1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.
2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.
Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.
I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.
To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.
And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.
Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people
Have you ever read an article about the study that found that teaching the parents to cope with autistic kids yields better results than other therapies? Because this is exactly what they were talking about.
this is a fantastic short term solution. but what happens when that child goes out into the real world as an adult and has no verbal communication skills and still doesn’t know how to properly transition between activities? by not teaching them coping mechanisms you put them at a distinct disadvantage compared to the rest of their peers and I don’t think that’s fair.
Okay, first off, I don’t want you to feel that I skimmed your argument and chose to disagree on principal. I feel that I have read and understood your point of view, and am actively putting thought into composing a thoughtful response that conveys my perspective on the subject.
You have asked me what happens when an autistic child “goes out into the real world as an adult and has no verbal communication skills”.
The thing is, there are many adults who live perfectly well without verbal communication.
There are adults with hearing impairments who can’t verbalize their intentions.
There are adults with anxiety disorders who can’t verbalize their intentions.
There do, in fact, exist autistic adults who can’t verbalize their intentions.
I would not personally agree that forcing a child or adult to talk out loud -when it very obviously causes them stress, or when they are unable to do so- is a coping mechanism.
I would argue that a coping mechanism is something that one does to alleviate their own stress, not the stress of others.
Just as well there are, right now, at this very second, any number or real-life adult autistic people who actually do, at this minute, have a hard time transitioning between activities. I’m sure you could ask them what that’s like and you’d get a great number of autistic adults who do exist in the real world willing to tell you.
I’d like you to ask yourself, and I sincerely don’t mean to be condescending, a really quick question:
Is the problem Them, or is the problem You?
Furthermore, is there even a problem at all?
What I mean for you to ask, is: Is there a problem, or did you create one by being unwilling to compromise what makes you, personally, comfortable?
Are they doing something wrong, or are you valuing tradition over someone’s health and wellbeing?
Which is more valuable to you, in a society?
No child is ready to walk out and live life as an adult in the ‘real world’. That’s why they’re children. Raise them, whoever they are and whatever that means, into an adult who’s confident and kind. Let them speak to people who understand them, not just people who’ve studied them, because there is a difference, and children need more than anything to not feel alone. Everything else is secondary.
I was a picky eater as a kid. Like really, really picky; ARFID wasn’t a thing back then, but if it had been I might’ve been diagnosed with it.
My parents never forced me to eat anything. They encouraged me to try new foods, and when I got a bit older we had a system where I would get cheesy popcorn (one of my favorite snacks) in exchange for trying a bite of a new food, but they never forced me. They fed me foods that I would eat to make sure I got enough calories.
Eventually, I did broaden my diet. It is still pretty restrictive, due to anxiety and food sensitivities in addition to the sensory issues, but it’s a complete diet. All of the people who said I would end up surviving on pizza and goldfish crackers forever if they didn’t make me eat other stuff were wrong.
You know what did leave a lasting impact, though? The people who would say that. To me, or to my parents right in front of my face. Extended family, concerned lunch supervisors, and kids at school who would tease me for not having a “real” lunch, eating at the wrong speed, whatever it was. To this day, I get anxious eating in front of people outside of my immediate family and friends group, even if I’m pretty sure they’re not going to judge me.
Would my parents forcing me to eat the same things as everyone else have avoided this judgment from other people? Maybe. However, the impact of that almost definitely would have caused even more harm, and possibly even malnutrition (the logic of “they’ll eat it if it’s the only option” doesn’t work so well when eating said food is physically terrorizing for the kid).
We live in a world that is often deeply cruel to disabled people, and this should absolutely be a consideration when raising autistic kids, but the solution is not to “teach them to be normal.” Approaching kids with understanding and empathy, meeting them where they’re at, and treating them as human beings will ultimately create the healthiest foundation for helping them navigate the world.
Have you ever thought things like “I’m not REALLY disabled” or “I won’t let my disability/illness stop me”? If so, this video might be for you.
…and with that, I have just finished my first YouTube series! ✨
It’sa series of 4 speedpaint videos discussing internalised ableism. They can be watched in any order, this is the last and newest one.
In these videos I delve into the various ways in which disabled and chronically ill people turn ableism inwards, often without realising.
I do so with the help of Internalised Ableism Bingo, an unexpectedly useful meme that gave me some incredible insights. The final concept I want to explore is “disidentifying”: rejecting the reality of being disabled in society.
I put a lot of work into this series, and I hope that it can help other people understand the ways in which ableism impacts them. I would love it if you checked it out and let me know your thoughts.
Welp! She said it! She said my thoughts. This is the description she added to her video:
i gave up my life to try to avoid covid. locked myself inside, didn’t return to school, completely isolated myself. and i still got it. a year and a half later, i’m one step away from a feeding tube because of it. i knew from day one there was no good ending for me if i got it. the threat has always existed. you just didn’t care when you didn’t think it included you.
[Image description: TikTok video of a person talking to the camera. / End ID]
Transcription:
This is not gonna be a popular post, but I’ve made peace with that. I have seen a lot of posts recently on TikTok that, basically, is a person with Long Covid saying that they didn’t take Covid seriously, they went out and partied, they broke restrictions, and NOW they regret it because they are miserable and permanently disabled.
And the rhetoric is always “The government lied, no one told us it was gonna be this bad, I had NO IDEA, how could I possibly have known–” FALSE.
FROM DAY ONE, it was ABUNDANTLY clear how deadly and horrific this virus could be. YOU just didn’t think you belonged to one of those affected groups and THEREFORE, you did not care.
Disabled and chronically ill people like me were BEGGING YOU to wear a mask, were BEGGING YOU to do your part to keep the community safe, and had you not gotten Long Covid, you would probably still be doing the same thing, probably still endangering people in your community.
“I judge people for this trait commonly associated with disabled people, but if they are disabled I obviously don’t judge them for that!” thats not how it works. holy shit thats not how it works.
Welp, so much for the prediction that he and Chris could host within a few years as the ultimate Oscars gimmick.
Two genuine apologies and he resigned from the academy. But it’s just not enough for these people.
All his projects are on hold. Deals are on hold. Now he can’t attend the Oscars for ten years.
I’ve never witnessed anyone in Hollywood actually be punished by Hollywood until now.
Just so we’re clear: Jim Carey forcibly kissed a teenage Alicia Silverstone without her consent at an awards show. Was not punished. Adrien Brody forcibly kissed Halle Berry at an award show without her consent. Also was not punished. John Wayne had to be physically held back from attacking Sacheen Littlefeather at the Oscars. Was not punished. Roman Polanski was given an Oscar in abstention because if he came to collect the award in person, he would have been arrested due to his conviction for statutory rape. Was not removed from the academy until 2018. Casey Affleck was given an Oscar shortly after he was accused to sexual harassment. Woody Allen has been nominated and awarded several times by the academy despite allegations of molestation being public since the 1990s.
Will Smith smacks a comedian for publicly humiliating his wife about her disability - the world comes down on his head. Gee, I wonder what the difference is?
Anyway the Oscars and allllll the racist and ableist (and clearly A-okay with pedophilia) assholes involved with this can kiss my entire ass. The only movies I’ll be watching will be 100% pirated because I won’t be paying a dime into that reeking pile of shit.
autism is also being told “you should have asked questions if you didn’t understand” even tho you thought you understood but it turns out you very confidently misinterpreted the instructions
oh, i get that one often. like, i was pretty sure i understood so i didn’t ask for clarification.
i especially love it when they ask “do you understand?” and when i try to explain how i understand it to see if we’re on the same wavelength, they go “yes or no, just answer if you understand”. like, bitch. i don’t know if i understand
can we stop fucking interpreting freezing as inaction and start seeing it as a trauma response? idk why but i just came across a tik tok of a person explaining that claims that freezing = putting the pressure on everyone else and downplayed it by equating being triggered with being “uncomfortable.”
no. if action needs to be done, let them unfreeze and process the situation and then have them do their part. if you are overwhelmed and feel like all the responsibility is on your shoulders, leave the room and get some rest. there are other ways around this that doesn’t involve downplaying or making assumptions about other people’s trauma response.
fucking do better. i should not have to see ableist nonsense like that in my goddamn spare time.
Me: rolling around in my wheelchair inside a store taking a bunch of photos
Customer: “Can I ask what you’re taking pictures of?”
Me: “I’m documenting my ADA violations case.”
Customer: “What violations?”
Me: Points out five violations I can see from where we are. Explains how to see patterns of ADA violations.
Customer: (in a hostile tone) “Well it can’t be *that* bad. I mean, *you* got in here.”
Me: yelling at someone for illegally parking their motorcycle in the access aisle for disabled parking
Complete stranger: comes up to me, gets right in my face and starts yelling at me for being mean to the motorcyclist
If you see a member of a minority class fighting a violation of their civil rights and you decide to throw yourself, uninvited, into the disagreement on the side of the person violating their civil rights, you are officially one of life’s villains and I hope you fall off a cliff.
It takes zero effort not to be an asshole and yet so many people still fail to do so.
