when i was in middle school Rude by bruno mars came on the radio in the car with my mom and at the chorus it goes “why you gotta be so rude, don’t you know i’m human too, i’m gonna marry ya anyway” and my mom now had her Disapproving Aura on and sighed and said. see this is why [my divorced uncle] married [his mean ex-wife]. what a sad way of loving. and 13yo me was like Oh Damn That Deep. and mentally filed away the lesson Popular Music Promotes Toxic Behavior Therefore Don’t Marry Someone Who’s Mean To You. and ever since then rude by bruno mars has made me just a little bit sad. cut to 5+ years later the song is no longer popular. i happen to hear it over the tinny speakers in a random fast food place. all at once i realize the lyrics are not, in fact, about marrying a girl despite her hating you (gonna marry ya anyway), but marrying a girl despite her parents hating you (gonna marry her anyway). 13yo me and my mom misheard the same lyric and never paid attention to the rest of the song. i am flabbergasted. one of the pillars of my childhood development has just crumbled in a Subway. i am frantically realigning my entire internal ethics system. the cashier still wants to know if i’m getting a cookie. nothing is real
If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say “for you, it’s on the mouse”
the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say “mousegirl” and not “mouse.” don’t pretend this isn’t what’s going on either i know the score i know what’s up. i’m familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone’s gotta know.
shows how weak willed you are that you can only imagine a mousegirl in a horny context. i for one am having a lovely time imagining a tiny lady balancing a drink on her head
Tumblr users don’t criticize people for making things weird when you’re the one making things weird challenge 2022 (impossible)
Like if this was a post about an elf girl sitting on a counter and making an “elf on the shelf” joke, would you assume sexual intent there to the exclusion of all other possible interpretations?
Don’t you look stupid, now
Dude did you leaf through my blog to take a screenshot of my friend’s art in an effort to prove that i am guilty of the crime of liking an nsfw bat boy? Is that seriously what you’re doing with your Tuesday? That’s weird man
If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say “for you, it’s on the mouse”
what a cute and lovely post i’m sure glad there aren’t any completely deranged freaks in the notes trying to read into this like it’s some sort of diabolical conspiracy
The entire population of Sweden getting collectively called out on twitter is funny as hell so far because every single tweet by a Swedish person is either like “first of all being racist is my cultural heritage…” or it’s “god, finally, I’ve been trying to tell everyone for years that my country is full of assholes”
Oh I guess this didn’t spill over enough to tumblr so this is what happened:
There was a twitter thread asking people about their weirdest encounters with someone else’s cultural practices.
Someone said that when they were just a child, they visited with a Swedish family who made them stay in another room while they ate meals and didn’t offer them any food or snacks.
This picked up lots of responses like “wait, what? That happened to me too but I just thought this one family were freaks???”
I don’t need to tell most people why most reactions to this were positively aghast that anyone anywhere expects guests to either bring their own food or just suffer.
The thread truly exploded only when some Swedes not only admitted to it but got defensive about it, calling it selfish and childish to expect food as a guest. Yes even from personal friends and yes even as children, because you should apparently actually be grateful enough that you’re even allowed in someone else’s home at all.
Other Swedish citizens chimed in to say they feel like they’re in the minority for having any concept of sharing or giving in general and that their other Swedish friends keep track of every cent they owe them for every little thing.
Immigrant and racial minority Swedes began to add that the whole “be grateful you’re even allowed here” attitude is how they’re treated everywhere they go just for existing.
From there, a whole lot of discussion, again mostly from people living there, about how Sweden has a cutesy, harmless image to most of the world only because its leadership and media work so hard to downplay its true prevalence of active white supremacy and hardcore nationalism.
“#swedengate” starts trending.
Sweden is being cancelled like it’s a celebrity and every Swede who gets upset about it just immediately demonstrates exactly what was being criticized in the first place:
Actually this part in itself is not funny at all. It’s just funny how many of them had to lock or delete their accounts like they genuinely thought these were normal things to say.
HATE when you’re inserting your email somewhere and literally from the first letter the website is like “invalid email address” like yes i know. I’m typing it right now. My email address is obviously not just the letter ‘m’. Stop
ALT
