It was Kylo Ren. It was Ben. It couldn’t be. Even in the midst of everything else, even in the midst of the truly horrible day that he’d had, Poe could already feel his brain starting to melt down.
Ben. Ben and Kylo Ren were one and the same. This wasn’t real. This absolutely, positively, couldn’t be real.
Ben. The boy who had comforted him, stood up for him, all but worshipped him with a ferocity Poe knew he didn’t deserve. (He wasn’t the completely good person Ben thought he was; flowers didn’t bloom under his feet and bluebirds didn’t perch on his shoulder) And Kylo, the man who had all but ripped him apart.
He hated Kylo. He didn’t think he could actually hate someone. But Ben…
There was something about kneeling before Kylo Ren where Poe, in his dazed state from being frozen by that stasis field (it couldn’t be Ben. It had to be someone else, had to be someone who was also skilled in the Force. It had to be some sort of horrible coincidence), couldn’t help but feel at least on the verge of laughing. At least in his head.
He wasn’t about to laugh out loud. Not really. Not when the situation was so dire. The other villagers…they looked scared. Terrified for him. Poe thought of the time before he had found Lor San Tekka, when he was mingling with them and sharing their food and sharing stories about Tuanul.
They were innocents. They didn’t deserve this. It was part of why he fought the First Order in the first place; someone had to defend the innocent. Like both his parents did. Poe was the sort who knew he had plenty of love to give, sometimes so overflowing that it was painful.
It was why Ben had loved him. Why Ben would have done anything for him.
Poe focused his eyes ahead, trying not to think about what was going on in Kylo Ren’s mind right now. If the schutta was gloating at the idea of Commander Dameron being brought low. Even if he wasn’t saying anything gloating, or yanking Poe’s hair, or doing anything to invade Poe’s personal space.
(Not that it made it better)
If this was a holo…but this wasn’t a holo, not really. Everything about this was very, very real.