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really really really trying

by max lavergne. avi is by @wure. read more posts on twitter @prawn_meat
Post Total: 5499 Latest posts

day 1 president biden needs to put the thai soccer boys back in the cave. it’s where they belong.

the easter island moai faces are pretty good. i can still tell they’re made of stone though

me greeting my uncle and nephew: so have you guys been aging normally or have you both benjamin buttoned

whenever i see two ladies having a conversation about the news or their careers i interrupt to ask them if they need to fail the bechdel test

in canada instead of the red hot chili peppers they have the rouge hot chillie peppers. and instead of songs about california they have songs about nova scotia.

christopher nolan loves it when someone remembers something, or events occur. it’s all grist to his mill

actors are always begging the director to kill off their character so they can go home early for the day

me talking about george orwell 1984 under the mistaken impression that big brother is also a vampire: yeah it’s scary… so crazy that a vampire could become president

if i found a trail of breadcrumbs in the woods i’d gobble them up. that’s free breadcrumbs

m-my second phone! you’ve found it… no! i can explain. it’s not for my secret second life.. you see, it’s so i can call one phone with the other and hold them both up to my ears… the competing 5g waves unlock secrets of cold case crimes..

wolves used to be the main thing that ate people and now they’re endangered. that’s called talking shit and getting hit

airlines should build their business back up by letting you parachute out if you fly over your house

taylor swift is just phoebe bridgers for girls whose CIA case officer has a more clearly defined system of rewards and punishments

damn this seagull goth af

van gogh painted a sunflower so good no one else is allowed to paint one anymore. fucked up

if i was a homicide cop i’d cut myself some slack and just write half my cases off as “died of old age”

hbo needs to figure out how to get rid of the static on its logo when its shows start. it’s unprofessional

r/Legal: somebody gave me a blank cheque but i accidentally just wrote $60 on it and bought some off brand jeans. is there anyone i can sue to get another one

everyone knew that one kid at school who pretended their uncle worked at the italian factory and invented pesto

enough’s enough. china, it’s time to let the uighurs host the 2026 winter olympics in beautiful xinjiang province.