Well, you can just… not. You can wear whatever you please, buy comfortable shoes, ignore the hassle of make up and having to take it off again afterwards, all of which is bad for your skin. Why would you do anything else?
kind of insidious how “””feminine beauty”””” requires so many uncomfortable processes to execute — removal of body hair, wearing constricting clothes & undergarments, dieting, applying makeup, trying to navigate the world in heels, etc……… …….. women always have to be smaller, less free. Almost like the male-oriented beauty ideal is based in a fantasy of control. Weird
It’s almost like if women just decide to ignore that bollocks, het men will have to live with it if they want to get laid.
@tiggymalvern you’re right up to a point - but you forget how many women work in jobs which mandate wearing skirts, makeup and heels. You forget (being naturally tall and gorgeous) that those of us who are not naturally pretty, are at best dismissed and at worst abused if we don’t make an effort to fit into the acceptable norm.
You forget how many designers of clothes, makeup and accessories for women are men. And how many companies who make and sell this stuff, are run by men.
There is a standard. Failing to reach it, is not without penalty in too many cases. It has almost nothing to do with finding or being chosen as a mate. It’s about being allowed to exist at all in a male-dominated world with the least amount of hassle.
[as you know, I don’t exactly cleave to norms myself, but I have surrendered many opportunities by doing so. I can live with that. Other women aren’t so lucky.]
you forget how many women work in jobs which mandate wearing skirts, makeup and heels.
I don’t. Those jobs suck. But the only people who can change that so they don’t have to wear high heels and make up, just like the men who are in those positions don’t, are women. If every woman said no, I’m not wearing shoes that cripple me and expensive, time-consuming make up every day, the managers would have to hire them as they are or do the damn job themselves.
As long as there’s fierce competition between women to be air stewards, they’ll be told to wear what the airline dictates or not get the job. If they all said no, that’s a job with anti-social hours and it’s dangerous to be in non-flat shoes and pencil skirts during turbulence, I won’t volunteer to work under those conditions, the airlines would have to adapt. If workers can unionise for pay, for vacation time, for sick hours, women can unionise to be allowed to work as people, not models.
If your job is to sell make up, I can see it reasonably being part of the job description that you have to wear it. That’s a choice you make when you take the job. If you’re not selling make up, wearing it shouldn’t be mandated, and that’s something for the people in those jobs to unite and fight for. I can’t do it for them, other than by going about my professional and social life not wearing crap on my face, like I do.
There’s more to it than just jobs requiring people to wear makeup. There’s pay discrepancy that lines up with current mainstream standards of beauty, including the wearing of makeup and “professional” clothes. If you don’t wear makeup or shitty shoes you might get the job, but you also may make less than your coworkers, which isn’t going to necessarily be a conscious decision on the part of your boss based on your makeup habits. In their mind they are thinking “this person is so professional” versus “this person is just not professional.”
I got reprimanded repeatedly at one job for not “dressing professionally” when I wore slacks, a blazer and a button-down blouse every day, with nice lace-up shoes. My hair was usually in a bun. But, I didn’t wear makeup. I started putting on lipstick - just lipstick - in the mornings, and my manager complimented my “improved work ethic”.
The narrative that “if women don’t like things, they should fight to change them” is problematic. Yes, if every single woman in the country stood up one day and said, “I’m going to throw out my make up and there’s nothing you can do about it,” well, there would be nothing they could do about it.
But feminism isn’t just about burning your bra and throwing away your make up. It’s about the right to choose to wear make up or not without being judged or penalized for it. It’s about demanding respect, regardless of whether you wear high heels or not. Don’t tell me I’m undermining someone else if I choose to paint my nails just because I like painting my nails.
And this idea that women are solely responsible for changing their circumstances, putting the entire burden on the women, when they are often not the ones in power or making the standards, is seriously problematic. “Don’t like it? Don’t wear it! Tell The Man to fuck off! Otherwise it’s YOUR FAULT for conforming to his standards and ideals of beauty!”
Setting aside how many women are in circumstances where they simply have no choice but to conform, why should men get a pass for this? Men need to step up as well, to say, “These standards are unequal and unfair.” Men’s voices are often listened to when women’s are ignored. Men often have the power to make a statement that will be seen and heard when women do not. We need to teach men and boys that women are human beings with their own interior lives and not just there for men’s use, consumption and gratification. We need to find allies, not through our anger, but through reaching out, through education and with empathy. Men who understand that women are people, too, will stand with us - and then we actually will have the power to change things.
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD.
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.
Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important
nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!
this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.
sorry if i reblog this everY FIVE MINUTES
No worries if this post doesn’t fit your aesthetic or theme, this is important information. You could save not just a physical woman’s life but you can ALSO prevent things like PTSD that a woman would acquire from an attack if left alive
Okay, this is all good advice. However, I feel the need to say something else about it.
If you don’t follow this advice, and you get raped, it is not your fault.
If you walk into a parking lot at night with your hair in a braid, looking at your phone and not carrying pepper spray, and someone grabs you and you freeze up and you’re unable to scream or fight and you get raped - it’s not your fault. You did not deserve it.
Should we make preparations for the worst? Sure. We should have fire ladders and smoke detectors in our houses to escape from and prevent fires, for example. But if a family doesn’t have those things, and an arsonist sets their house on fire, do we say that the homeowners “deserved” to have their house burn down? That they “deserved” to die?
No, of course we don’t. No one deserves that, even if they don’t take precautions against it. The blame falls on the arsonist, as it should.
Even if you walk naked down a city street holding a sign that says “I’m alone and vulnerable”, you don’t deserve to get raped, and it’s not your fault if you do. The blame falls on the rapist, not you.
If you were raped - whether it was by a random attacker or by someone you knew, you did nothing wrong. You didn’t get raped because you failed to follow “the rules”. You got raped because someone else did. You got raped because the rapist broke the law.
That is not your fault. And you did not deserve it.
I’ve read a lot of lamenting and tearing of hair and hand-wringing over the fact that Marvel sold a bunch of its properties to different studios years ago before being bought by Disney.
It was not until tonight, after watching the third superhero movie on the big screen in six weeks, that I realized…it was a good thing for fans of superhero movies.
No single studio could have afforded to put out this volume of movies in such a short time. It is because Marvel sold off pieces of itself that we’re getting Spiderman 2, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and X-men: Days of Future Past within weeks of each other. It is because of it that we’re getting so many different takes on Marvel’s superhero properties, each with its own tone and consistent to its own universe.
As a fan of comics in part because of the layered and divergent storylines, it actually makes me happy to have so many options for my summer viewing. Disney’s doing a great job with what they’ve got: between Iron Man 1, 2, and 3, Captain America 1 and 2, Thor 1 and 2 and Avengers (not to mention…Guardians of the Galaxy?) they don’t actually need to make a mega-crossover with X-men and Spiderman. And while it would be fun to see that, I’m actually glad that we’re getting so much variety instead. Plus, each studio is really giving its all on the individual properties. I’m not saying every single movie is great, but each of the series have had some good ones, or at least good parts. It’s a golden age for fans of superhero movies. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when so many really good movies about superheroes have been coming out simultaneously.
Kinda makes me wish DC had sold off its rights, too… *wistful sigh*
The character of Onyx, one of handful of black female heroes in the DCU, showed up in Green Arrow #28 looking, well, here you go:
The character’s much whiter appearance was chalked up by various folks as 1) the character was wearing Kabuki make-up 2) Albinism 3) claims that it was doubtful this was the same character as in the new 52.
In this month’s issue, the mystery is solved.
So glad to hear this!
I only wish the Connor Hawke whitewashing had been an “error” as well.